TheComfortCorner | V.8

[AuraDragoness]

My brother has become obsessed with trying to get a job, so much to the point where he's sleep-depriving himself to the point of dangerously exhausted and its driven him into a world of delusion.

He's neglecting his family, not communicating, so tired he sleeps all day and is up at night, being a jerk because he's tired and can't get a job, the list could go on.

Whenever we try to help he snaps at us, he just is not only driving himself crazy but us as well, everything is just Hell right now and it's so hard to try and survive it. Add the fact that our money reserves are slowly dwindling away and the fact my dad has to fix our house himself due to the incompetence and greediness of hiring people to do it and you get a huge mess.

I just don't know what to do anymore other than just stay strong but it's just so hard...

[Faded...]

I'm just gonna say I'm in tears right now. usually for me that's not really usual. Just been having some physical problems and it just wears you down! So down. I have hope in his though that his plan is the right plan. I just wish he would stop letting satin do all these bad things. Sorry if I sound like a religious weirdo. But I have to say having a god that you know loves you is something that brings you though life. He says( I'm just remembering this not the exact words probs) I had a plan for you, before you where born. All I know is I hope these tears really are your plan god.( Note I'm writing this at 2:20 am. But what does this cruel world care. I'm always sleeping by 12:00 )

[Spearow]

My back is killing me, and I feel sick to my stomach. I just finished moving last night and the boxes are driving me crazy, I know I’m overworking myself but I can’t calm rest. Almost four am and I got through three more boxes since I woke up at 2am. Feel like I’m overheating now and I don’t feel any better clearing out some boxes.
I had multiple doctors appointments today and I’m just so sick of not feeling good.

[momincharge]

i just want one friend
a friend i can trust
i can laugh with
won't ruin my mood
that understands me...
i finally thought that i had found
that person but he's best friends
with the person i hate the most
and currently he's sticking up for
her.
he doesn't understand, i'm scared
of her hurting him
he's been through enough crap th
roughout his life but this girl
oh my god this girl
this girl will actually ruin his life
at one point i thought i was friend
s with this girl
but then she ruined mine.

[Wolfypoof]

I'm! Tired of feeling like everything is my fault! Everytime something goes wrong it's my fault! I make so many mistakes. I'm a failure!! I'm sorry for being busy, I'm sorry for crying and breaking another promise, I'm sorry for everything! But for the love of God please don't go. I need you even if you don't feel the same. But you say you do anyway so why do you make me feel horrible? I know I'm a horrible person!

And I'm sorry for my friends who say I can talk to them about things. I just get shy about talking to people and I have no idea what to say anyway

[cornspurrd.]

,

[Valac]

My brother is having a huge party and I'm stressed beyond belief. I'm most productive at night (which is now) but I can't get anything done with the party raging on just a few feet away from me. People give me so much anxiety. I just want them all to go home.

I know it's important for my brother to hang out with his friends, I just wish he wouldn't do so many at a time. Just one strange person in my house is stressful enough.

[emball]

im okay i’m okay i’m okay i’m okay i’m okay i’m okay i’m okay i’m okay i’m okay

[kishu.]

yes, i know. i've vented about this million times but i cannot help
but take it out of my chest by typing it. i feel so lonesome. i just
want someone that i can exchange pm's with, but i can't seem to
seek someone that can do that myself. i'm so timid, i hate it. i'm
afraid that they might judge me. i see everybody in this site, almost
everybody, they have some friends in here. everytime i just see
someone give their friend like a little gift, it just hurts me inside. it
makes me realize how lonely i am and i don't even have the courage
to do good to the people that appreciate me. i always get scared that
they won't like the gift or whatever. i just want someone to give me
a hug and a leading hand. i'm sorry for being so naggy, and so
greedy.. i don't have any courage to do good and have all those
positive consequences come to me. i'm such a horrible person.

[ℇŋ†ª_ℓ]

Recently, I've been disgusted with myself, and not even in the physical way too. I feel distant from everything and everyone, and its starting to disturb me. My family; my mom has been busy working for as long as I remember. Any days off, she spends them working too, or going on short vacations with friends/coworkers. If I'm lucky, I'll only see her for 2 hours a week, and we don't even talk. My dad is always home by 4pm, but he's never around. He spends his time far away from home doing who knows what or holing up inside his room. My older sister; school, homework, friends. We spend at least 7 hours a day back then, sitting next to each other, working on projects, drawing, listening to music, and we don't talk. No one in my family talks, unless you count the grandma I can't communicate with because I can't speak my native language. We all live in a small/medium sized house, but it always feels so mentally big. I feel so useless; I can't reach out when I need it; I hide it too well sometimes. The people I hang out with in school are distant from me too.

But sometimes, I just feel like an attention seeking freak. There's nothing special about me, and every time I'm alone, I feel as if I'm just a figment of someone's imagination. Sometimes, I think about what my close family's reaction to my death would be if I just up and disappeared. I can't bring myself to do it though. As distant as I am from everyone and everything, my sister is reaching out. And I love her for sheer determination, but I feel like I'm dragging her down with me. I wish I had the courage and trust to rely on others.

I complain about privacy a lot; I share a room with my cousin who immigrated here 2 years ago, my older sister who went to college this year, and my grandma. Yet despite that, I'm distant from everyone. I do nothing but disappoint their expectations, even the most basic of them. Maybe it's because I didn't have much of a childhood, but I can't remember anything during and before elementary school. I'm scared of my disappearing memory, of other people's thoughts on me. How stupid I must seem.

On my best days, I just blame everything on Asperger's Syndrome, even though I'm not completely certain that I have it. All the major signs are definitely here though.

Just a mini rant I guess?