Crushes, Boyfriends, and Girlfriends | V4

[Pyrrha Nikos]

um haha its been a bit since I've been here, but i have issues again xD

right now, i know that 3 different guys like me (J, T and W)...

J is one of my best friends, but not many people like him (he is extremely mean to some people, but SUPER nice to me) I talk to him all the time, in school and out of school, and we dated for a short period of time. I broke up with him because he was being mean to T. I still kind of like him.

T is my best friend, by far. He and I are always talking, hanging out and laughing. His sister is also my best friend and we do stuff together all the time. T hates J and is best friends with W. He likes me and I like him.. the only problem is that he is such a good friend to W and feels that if he and I dated that it would hurt his best friend.

W is the quiet, shy guy. He is really awkward around girls, is always forgetful and is T's best friend... he told me that he liked me last year and has made it obvious that he still likes me.

J and T are both obviously jealous of each other's time with me. In front of each other, they will do things like try to put their arm around me while the other is watching. It makes me feel really awkward and uncomfortable being around them both at the same time.

Question is: I have no idea who I should like (J or T) or both? I mean, how could i possibly choose between two of my best friends?

If it didn't work out with 'J' before, I doubt it will work again (I speak from experience)
If 'J' is mean to other people but nice to you, that doesn't make it right. He is nice to you because he is your friend, and because he likes you. That's it.
"If you want to see the true measure of a man, watch how he treats his inferiors, not his equals." I think that kind of goes for this situation.
And going down to your last paragraph, what they are doing is obviously very immature. *frowns* I understand being around both of them makes you feel awkward/uncomfortable, but if it makes you awkward when your single, how will that change when/if you are dating one of them? If you are best friends with both of them, whomever you choose is going to still be jealous of the time you spend with the other.
I guess from the information you gave me I would choose to go for 'T'. The choosing who to like is all up to you. Those are your feelings, and judging from this, I think you like both of them.

[Medusa72]

So I've spent a while thinking, I'm ready for a boyfriend, I NEED a boyfriend, it just kind of hit me though... I really don't.
This is partly because I see my sister in bad relationships, jumping from guy to guy hoping the next one will be better.
I'm just thinking, I'm patient enough that I can wait until I'm older, wiser, and more mature...

Lol, I know it's cliché but...

You are a strong and confident woman who don't need no man.

[kafka]

V = one of my best friends, crushing on both
J and another boy
J = ex-crush, recently became friends again,
may or may not like me?
P = has a crush on me, kinda my friend
M = my new crush after struggling for nearly
a year to get over J

So the school holidays have just started. On the last day of school, V came rushing up to me and my friends, gushing about how she asked J to sign her yearbook and he just ignored her. As a joke and also because I want to part with him on good terms (different high schools/colleges next year), I went up to him and asked him to sign mine. And he did. And somewhat contradicting to his usual moody, silent persona, he smiled and said a few words to me. After school that day, I checked Facebook and J had not only unblocked me, but sent a friend request. Naturally, I accepted.

This is where P comes in. P was in my class last year (along with J) and was in J's class this year as well. P's indirectly told me that he's had a crush on me before and J knows. But I don't like P. He's just not my type. The exact opposite, in fact. Yeah, he has the same interests, but his personality is too blunt and insensitive for me. I talk to him over Facebook as a friend. I wouldn't say I'm leading him on, but I don't want to tell him directly that I don't like him unless he brings it up first. He's the kind of guy who wouldn't take that well at all. J says he's been trying to work up the courage to talk to me but irl he always comes off as rude and snarky. So recently I've been I've just been talking to him less and less on Facebook. And more and more to J.

This worries me because the "relationship" I had with J last year was mostly chatting online too. We were both slightly depressed and we became really close friends. In short, he had a hunch that I liked him and lied that he liked me back to get me to confess. We've both changed now, but last night, on the subject of P, he suddenly said that I was really cool but he never realised it, and that he was beginning to like me. I told him that a relationship wasn't exactly what I was looking for right now, and he was really mature about it. I realise that means I'm over him, but I wouldn't exactly mind being his girlfriend either. It's just that he wouldn't be my first choice. We promised that we would keep his feelings from P, who liked me first, not that that really matters.

And then there's M. I asked him to the formal this year but he was really nice about it and said he wasn't going. His friends eventually convinced him to go with him, and then he said he wasn't in case it made me feel bad, but I told him it would be fine. He doesn't know me very well, but I'm sure he's going to be in my class next year. He may or may not be going to Sydney to stay with his dad half way through the year.

So if you've beared all my rambling so far, I have some questions:

- What to do with P? Leave it as it is and wait for him to eventually get over me?
- What to do with J? What to do with an ex crush/friend who's always there to listen who kinda likes you now but you probably won't see for five years?
- What to do with M? A crush on a cute, considerate guy who doesn't really know you, and when he does he might vanish from your life forever?

Thanks in advance.

[Pyrrha Nikos]

So I've spent a while thinking, I'm ready for a boyfriend, I NEED a boyfriend, it just kind of hit me though... I really don't.
This is partly because I see my sister in bad relationships, jumping from guy to guy hoping the next one will be better.
I'm just thinking, I'm patient enough that I can wait until I'm older, wiser, and more mature...

Lol, I know it's cliché but...

You are a strong and confident woman who don't need no man.

Good for you, girl! I hate seeing someone get into a relationship because they feel like they need to be in one.
*grins* Go you!

[Medusa72]

So I've spent a while thinking, I'm ready for a boyfriend, I NEED a boyfriend, it just kind of hit me though... I really don't.
This is partly because I see my sister in bad relationships, jumping from guy to guy hoping the next one will be better.
I'm just thinking, I'm patient enough that I can wait until I'm older, wiser, and more mature...

Lol, I know it's cliché but...

You are a strong and confident woman who don't need no man.

Good for you, girl! I hate seeing someone get into a relationship because they feel like they need to be in one.
*grins* Go you!

Haha, thank you! I didn't think anyone would respond to this!

[latin]

Why hello there, I am chandelier, but feel free to call me Sushi. I finally got off of my lazy bum to post here, as I have before on one of the previous versions. Warning, this may be long.

We roll back to about five years ago, where I first met him. We were always in neighboring classes, which completely sucked now that I think about it, but back then, I didn't care as much. I hated him because of a weird reason. In fact, it was an article of clothing - the socks he wore -_-

Now you have a bit of back story, let's go back to about two years ago, where I finally started liking him. We were in the same classes, and I liked him a lot. So much that it was getting to the point where I started 'loving' him. I never dared to talk to him because of the boundary between boys and girls. Most people at my school thought that if a girl talked to a guy, or vice versa, it would mean that they liked them, so I never dared to speak a word to him. There was much tension when he sat next to me, or when my friends told me that he 'looked at me and smiled'. Afterall, I was only in the beginning faze of liking this guy. Maybe my thoughts were deceiving me?

Here we go, now to a year ago. We were in neighboring classes yet again, but nonetheless, I still held the feeling that I liked him. Nothing much happened here except for me falling head over heels for him. I really liked him because of his considerate, kind, and smart traits, which was unlike most guys at my school. Not to mention, he was extremely cute, too, but what am to say? My friends have been trying to push me away from him, but I stayed on, continuing my on my crushing state.

It's now a couple months before this, the start of the new school year. Honestly, I was just sitting my my seat about to erupt. Was he gonna be in my homeroom? Any of my classes? I was literally losing all faith in humanity, but he came at the last second, walking to find a seat, but he glanced at me in the process. I was screaming when he was in all my other classes, too XD

Recently, this has been happening. I did send him a note on my confession, and he has yet to return it. He has been showing many signs that he 'likes' me, but I highly doubt a lot of them. One time, he broke away from his group of friends to follow me down the stairs. Since he was right behind, I kinda broke into a dash. This has been happening every day - he keeps looking at me, and occasionally they turn into stares. On Friday at our last class, he was doing two things: Looking at his phone and intensely looking at me. Obviously he could be looking at the girl next to me, or rather something else, but it's kinda weird since I sat at the front where nothing really was .3.

Now I'm here to actually ask of your opinion since I am so mildly unsure... Hmm D:
Also sorry if this sounded more like a story than anything XD

[malteser]

Quiiiick question haha.
Sort of a matter of opinion... well sort of.
When do you think it's typical to start dating someone?
Well, the reason I'm wondering is because I just feel like I'm... behind. In high school, everyone just seems to have a boyfriend, or have someone be interested in them. I know that I don't exactly have time for a boyfriend (I have an incredibly busy life), that it's not the most important thing, and that I have plenty of time... I just want to end up alone for some reason.
My mom went to prom with a senior when she was a freshman, and she met my dad at around my age.... I've never even held hands with a guy. I've been told that guys have had crushes on me apparently, but that was when I was little, so that doesn't really count. Idk, sorry if this sounds stupid I just have to kind of vent... I guess.
I know that it's not the most important thing... and that I have time... also, I know to never just be in a relationship just because... I'm just kind of... curious. I don't want to end up being alone until I'm in my sixties.

Oh, also, a quick add on. I'm not one of those girls who'd be kissing every guy she met. (I'm actually a bit of a germaphobe )
The most I would do (if I ever even had a boyfriend) was maybe hold hands and talk. That's about it Heck I don't even know if I'm ready to dat. Wow.... that was a lot sorry guys.

Yeah I still think I never really need a boyfriend but I have one anyway.
Ive had five just this year (Dont mock me XDX) and I never even hugged them. Im a very ugh Im not sure person but I always think like "I dont want to look back and say I've hugged him" Because I always have that feeling it isnt going to last long at all. I've actually looked back and thought "Im glad I didnt."
But with my recent boyfriend of 4 months I didnt get that feeling that it would end quickly, I wouldnt mind being pointed at for hugging him, kissing him or holding his hand which I've already done. With dating I wait to find at least someone I dont mind being linked to, someone i dont mind saying 'I love you' every night when I go.
Dont rush yourself into it, just wait for the time to come around because If you do it can make you the happiest person ever.

[dogs]

so i flew over to missouri to get my boyfriend on the 17th.
on the 19th he flew back with me. later that day he left
for a few hours then came back. i wasn't too sure what he
was doing and i was a bit suspicious.

when he came back, he took me to dinner with some friends
and proposed at the end of the night and i just...gkhkjhm
i love him so much i cant stand it. im going to absolutely
hate it when he gets deployed

[Pyrrha Nikos]

so i flew over to missouri to get my boyfriend on the 17th.
on the 19th he flew back with me. later that day he left
for a few hours then came back. i wasn't too sure what he
was doing and i was a bit suspicious.

when he came back, he took me to dinner with some friends
and proposed at the end of the night and i just...gkhkjhm
i love him so much i cant stand it. im going to absolutely
hate it when he gets deployed

Oh my god congratulations! *huggles* I'm so happy for you! I wish you the very best!

[hev]

@ chandelier

Hey there. So I read your story and I personally think that you should make a move. It sounds, from what I've read, that he could VERY well have feelings in return. My only concern is that he very well could have taken you running away from him as a hint that you don't like him. My advice is to one day, pull him aside for '20 seconds of courage' and go for it! If you two have a good 5 year friendly relationship, it could be the start of something more. I believe you can do it and it honestly sounds like the beginning an amazing relationship.

----

About a week ago, my crush, now boyfriend, asked me out over the phone! We've known each other for a while now, and I had also been crushing on him since we had skyped the first time. Little did I know however, that he had also been crushing on me. He'd been in several toxic relationships before this, and all I hope is that I can make it better. I should be visiting him in Florida in a year or two, and I honestly cannot wait. He's going to be in Italy for all of winter break and his mom is kind of crazy so we can't talk very much which sucks. He literally makes me the happiest person ever and he calls me 'reina de mi vida' which translates to 'queen of my life' and it makes me so happy. I honestly, despite what others say, think that he's THE one and that I'm going to marry this boy. I just hope you all find that special someone, and can all be as happy with them as I am with him.

I'm open to help with any questions you have on your life so feel free to hit me up!