The Advanced Writer's Club

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Re: The Advanced Writer's Club

Postby Rivkah » Tue Jun 25, 2013 7:26 pm

@ Jade - cliche? hardly; I personally love the plot, though it reminds me of the Princess Bride for some reason, probably the marriage part. cx

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The Advanced Writer's Club

Postby Brittle » Wed Jun 26, 2013 12:58 am

    @jadghost; There should be a fourth person so that you can slip into second third or fourth with ease and it would be grammatically correct!

    It sound very good! I'd read that book in a heartbeat! But yes I have to agree with Rivkah, princess bride....*nods head in agreement*
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Re: The Advanced Writer's Club

Postby confliction » Wed Jun 26, 2013 2:04 am

@Jadeghost; to be completely honest, your plot sounds fantastic. It's like a mix of everything everyone wants to hear about in a story. A mixture of Eragon, LOTR, (and yes, I certainly agree) Princess Bride. I also love the name Tristan.
ILOVEYOU
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"IT ALL GOES BACK
TO THE FIRST KISS
IT WAS THE ONE
I THOUGHT I'D NEVER MISS
MAYBE WE WERE
ONE OF THE LUCKY ONES
MAYBE I'M JUST
NOT QUITE STRONG ENOUGH
THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE
THE EASY PART
BUT BREAKING DOWN
IS WHAT I FOUND HARD
NOW I'M WEARING THIS SMILE
THAT I DON'T BELIEVE IN
I'M BRUISED AND SCARRED
SAVE ME FROM THIS
BROKEN HEART
ALL MY LOVE
WILL SLOWLY FADE
AND FALL APART
SOMEONE PLEASE SING
THIS LOVESICK MELODY
CALL MY NAME
IF YOU'RE AFRAID, I'M JUST A KISS AWAY"
╔═══════════╗













___.Image____
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I'LL LEAVE MY ROOM
OPEN
TILL SUNRISE
FOR YOU,
I'LL KEEP MY EYES
PATIENTLY
FOCUSED ON YOU
I WILL GO DOWN
AS YOUR LOVER
YOUR FRIEND,
GIVE ME YOUR LIPS
AND WITH ONE KISS
WE BEGIN













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Re: The Advanced Writer's Club

Postby Jadeghost » Wed Jun 26, 2013 2:28 am


Thank you guys so much for the compliments, it means a lot! And it's okay about the Princess Bride thing, I once got a comment that it reminded someone of twilight and I was like no -_-
Sometimes I just get unsure of myself after working on it for so long and need a little reassurance from third parties. I think I'm going to finally try writing it all out! I've written several drafts of beginning chapters but they desperately need redone since I wrote most of them years ago.

Isn't it amazing how your style can change so much in a short amount of time? I find it crazy to read over some of my old stuff and then compare it to how I write now!
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Re: The Advanced Writer's Club

Postby Artesian » Wed Jun 26, 2013 5:20 am

Jadeghost: I'm going to disagree with others here... Honestly, it does seem pretty cliche - a blend of LOTR, Princess Bride, Eragon and How to Train your Dragon... but the plot actually seems interesting, which is really really unusual when it's being presented as a summary. (For instance, LOTR: Short people called Hobbits throw an evil ring into a volcano to defeat an evil sorcerer while a war rages. Or Twilight: A girl moves to a rainy small town and meets a really hot boy who is a dangerous vampire.) I'd say go for it! It's all in the execution, and your style is lovely so... good luck! :) There's a reason cliches are cliches; they are the hammers and nails in the toolbox of stories. Are we ever going to get tired of the conflicted bad-guy trope? (Loki, Zuko, etc etc). No. And we're not going to get tired of dragons, mysterious orphans, chosen ones and telepathy. Because those are all awesome things to have in a story, if done properly. :3
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Re: The Advanced Writer's Club

Postby I'm Not The Only One » Wed Jun 26, 2013 7:21 am

Username: Lorde.
Nickname: Lor, Lorry, De, anything really!
Writing Preferences (Poet, Novelist, roleplayer...): Novelist for sure, but I'm interested in starting up role-playing again.
Example (Can be anything; must be a good length):
When You’re Gone

Man, this is so embarrassing. I didn't mean for anyone to find me like this. Like what, you may say. Eye-liner has been heavily applied under and over my eyes, as well as my eye-brows. My eye-lashes are also clumpy,the result of mascara soaking them, and half of it is dripping down my face! I am covered in fresh cuts and bruises, plus my nails are black and ripped, and my hair is a mixture of red, black and pink, I look like a total mess, I'm sure. But I didn't just magically become emo, ha-ha, no. There's a whole story that goes with that one.

It all started a year ago, on a sandy beach in Los Angeles, California. All the beautiful girls had their bikini's on and were flirting with the guys. But me, what was I doing? Sitting on the sand in my short shorts and a t-shirt watching the waves gently lap against the sand, glistening in the hot sun. I didn' even realise someone had been approaching me, until I turned and saw a guy with no top on and just his shorts, sitting beside me with a goofy grin on his face. And honestly, it was the first time my heart had actually beat faster for a guy. And then began what I thought was a sweet dream, but all sweet dreams turn into night mares, sooner or later. I found that out the hard way, as usual.

Our first date will always be permantly memorised in my brain. That night, he asked me to go back to the beach, where he'd have a...surprise waiting for me! My mind was obviously twisted and munted from his sweet-talk, and nobody, I mean not even my mother and family, have ever done or gotten me a surprise. Not even for my birthday. So of course I said yes. I went home then, and got what money I had, and went on my first ever shopping trip. I got myself my first dress, which was a horrible purple, frilly thing, and diamond high-heels that got lost on the beach. We danced and kissed all night. But now, I can actually sympathise with Bella Swan from Twilight.

I’ve always needed time on my own. It was never very long, only a half a day or so, just to set my mind and thoughts straight, nothing big. And he always knew I’d come back, no matter what. I don’t think he ever saw me cry, because I never actually did cry, I was actually totally and unconditionally happy, for a while at least. I considered myself mentally strong, fearless and brave, until the day he walked out on me.

It’s only been four days since he left me, but it feels like four years, to me. My mother has constantly been calling my cell phone and home phone, probably to demand a visit or something. I’ve never really liked my mother, always telling me to become something I’m not, getting angry when I couldn’t do something perfect. Recently she’s been trying to marry me off, even though I explained to her I already have a boyfriend. Or did anyway.

One of the hardest parts, I think, has got to be the same bed. My heart breaks in half every single time I see the bed made up on his side. I also manage to wake up at two in the morning most nights, when I get cold because his body heat has gone.

I don’t think I’ve ever felt so useless and unwanted before. I’ve never had any friends, or boyfriends, until he came along and was nice, caring even, to me. Ever since he left me, and it’s been getting annoying actually, every little thing I do reminds me of how happy I once was with him. As in, if I see a couple eating ice-cream together, I cringe and walk the other way. If I see a black Labrador, a little part of me dies inside. It’s even become that when I turn the T.V on, and the sports is on, I begin to cry.

Sometimes I wonder why I had to choose the sloppiest boyfriend in the planet! I used to tease him about it then, but now it makes me even more upset, seeing his clothes lying on the floor beside the bed. I went over to them and picked them up, and they smelled just like him. I collapsed onto the ground right then and there. You really don't want to hear what's going through my head at this moment either, though good guessers may guess.

I guess I’m still telling you my story though.

Once upon a time, I believed that he and I were made for each other. And he seemed to believe it to, unless he was faking it. But the saddest thing, I suppose, is all I ever wanted was for him to know, everything I’d do for him was with my heart and soul, and all he thought I was doing was putting on an act. An act to make him stay with me.

Well, I hope you don't think of me as the poor little emo girl who had her heart broken in half, and fell in love with the wrong guy, like I know everyone will. But it's not going to bother me for very long, as even though he broke me on the inside, I still love him with all of what's left of me, and I'm going to get my happily ever after, just not in this world, not on the planet, just up in the clouds, waiting for him to join me.
Links to stories / roleplays: Short Stories Thread
Other: :)
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Re: The Advanced Writer's Club

Postby indebted » Wed Jun 26, 2013 7:47 am

great plot. i don't generally do dragons too much, but...
on the subject of summaries!
warriors: a fiery cat joins a wild clan and saves all of them because of dead ghost cats who helped him. xD
and then you look at the summary of some of my stories.
swan song : a magical girl who is actually half swan but not the common type of swan a magical swan is raised by a random girl who later is known as the queen of riverside, the kingdom next to the Lost Lands, and then carried away by the swans to be their queen. however she does not give up and eventually saves everybody by locking herself in with the swans.
i like dragon capitalism a lot lmao
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I'm Joining This 'ere Party

Postby pumpkin. » Wed Jun 26, 2013 3:22 pm

Username:
pumpkin queen
Nickname:
I have a bunch: Angel, Pumpkin, Reality, Immortal, Sunny, Wonderland, Jarzie; I mainly go by Pumpkin.
Writing Preferences (Poet, Novelist, roleplayer...):
Role-player, mainly, but I do dabble in the sections of "poet" and "novelist".
Example (Can be anything; must be a good length):
Greyson Post wrote:Light admired the set-up of the dance, before someone bumped into her while dancing to the song Daylight by Maroon 5, and she realized that she was lingering in the middle of a humongous crowd. Instead of being even more idiotic than she was currently, she shuffled her way to the edge of the crowd, watching everyone dance to the high-pitched voice of Adam Levine with joyous expressions sketched on their faces. Well, at least they seemed to be having fun. Light had just never been one to mingle in with a crowd. But, once The Cupid Shuffle began blasting, she would definitely get her A-game on. That was her jam, man! Despite her conflicted excitement, Light didn't move onto the dance floor, try to converse with anyone she thought she might recognize, or go on a "hunt" for cute guys as other girls were doing; she just remained towards the edge of the crowd. It wasn't hard for her to do. It's not like anyone made an attempt to approach her, anyway. With a soft sigh, Light threaded her fingers through her hair as she just watched everyone dance.
Get a life, will you? she mentally scolded herself. She wouldn't just stand there all night- in a useless corner of the school- doing nothing while everyone else was out there enjoying themselves. Like, for example, Lucas must've been there somewhere; maybe she would be able to hang out with him. After pondering the suggestion for a few heartbeats, Light shook her head in disapproval. Lucas was most likely busy charming some beautiful girl, that, or was off somewhere spraying graffiti onto his mortal enemie's house. But, she had to go with the first option. Being the flirt he was, yeah, Lucas was most likely on the dance floor sweeping some random girl off of her feet. Feeling somewhat abandoned or rejected, Light subconsciously smoothed down her dress. It was the one night she dressed up, why not look pretty? Oh, yeah- because Light wasn't used to being beautiful. Change, change, tsk, tsk. Just one night and then she would be able to strip off this ridiculous dress. As the girl looked down at the fabric, she reluctantly changed her opinion on the gown. It's really not that bad... Well, of course it wasn't that bad! Would she really have worn the dress if it was horrid? Okay, this little argument going on inside Light's head was absolutely pointless. She just felt as though everyone was looking at her, though they weren't, and felt the sudden desire to impress. There's a change in personality.
Light glanced up and to the side as she felt the heat of a presence beside her, and her eyes landed on the face of a boy, maybe a year older than her or so. He hadn't even done anything but offer a flirtatious smile before Light felt heat scorch her face and she scuffled off to the other side of the area. Good God, why was she so shy all of the sudden? Oh, yeah- because this was her chance to actually be somebody. Without a mask or a pretty dress, who was she? She was Light, the whacko tomboy that everyone ignored in the hallway because all she wore was Pierce The Veil and The Beatles shirts. But with a mask and wearing what people in Greyson considered actual fashion, she could have a different reputation. Though just for one night, things could be different. And you could say she didn't want to mess anything up; though we all know she'll mess up something in the end. It was just how it worked with her.
As the song Cruise by Florida Georgia Line began blasting out of the speakers, Light caught a glimpse of the familiar face of Lucas. Lord, the boy was like a party on his own accord; he didn't need music or encouragement. Imagine what he was like when there was actual excitement echoing throughout the room. Yeesh. But, then again, that's why she was friends with him- best friends. Close..., yup..., he was a whacko..., yeah, anyway. Shifting her Converse-covered feet a bit anxiously, Light mustered up the courage that she shouldn't have needed before managing her way over to the drink stand. Fruit punch, typical, she thought to herself as she poured herself a small glass. Backing away from the stand so she was leaning against the wall, she sipped her drink nonchalantly, her eyes following couples as they strolled by.

Links to stories / roleplays:
ᴄʜᴇᴄᴋᴍᴀᴛᴇ, WE'RE ALL MAD HERE, Are We Dead Yet, Greyson High
Other:
I keep my font green, broskis.
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Re: The Advanced Writer's Club

Postby confliction » Thu Jun 27, 2013 11:24 pm

Artesian wrote:Jadeghost: I'm going to disagree with others here... Honestly, it does seem pretty cliche - a blend of LOTR, Princess Bride, Eragon and How to Train your Dragon... but the plot actually seems interesting, which is really really unusual when it's being presented as a summary. (For instance, LOTR: Short people called Hobbits throw an evil ring into a volcano to defeat an evil sorcerer while a war rages. Or Twilight: A girl moves to a rainy small town and meets a really hot boy who is a dangerous vampire.) I'd say go for it! It's all in the execution, and your style is lovely so... good luck! :) There's a reason cliches are cliches; they are the hammers and nails in the toolbox of stories. Are we ever going to get tired of the conflicted bad-guy trope? (Loki, Zuko, etc etc). No. And we're not going to get tired of dragons, mysterious orphans, chosen ones and telepathy. Because those are all awesome things to have in a story, if done properly. :3


        I shall never tire of Zuko. That bad boy can visit me anytime.
ILOVEYOU
Image
"IT ALL GOES BACK
TO THE FIRST KISS
IT WAS THE ONE
I THOUGHT I'D NEVER MISS
MAYBE WE WERE
ONE OF THE LUCKY ONES
MAYBE I'M JUST
NOT QUITE STRONG ENOUGH
THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE
THE EASY PART
BUT BREAKING DOWN
IS WHAT I FOUND HARD
NOW I'M WEARING THIS SMILE
THAT I DON'T BELIEVE IN
I'M BRUISED AND SCARRED
SAVE ME FROM THIS
BROKEN HEART
ALL MY LOVE
WILL SLOWLY FADE
AND FALL APART
SOMEONE PLEASE SING
THIS LOVESICK MELODY
CALL MY NAME
IF YOU'RE AFRAID, I'M JUST A KISS AWAY"
╔═══════════╗













___.Image____
Image
Image


I'LL LEAVE MY ROOM
OPEN
TILL SUNRISE
FOR YOU,
I'LL KEEP MY EYES
PATIENTLY
FOCUSED ON YOU
I WILL GO DOWN
AS YOUR LOVER
YOUR FRIEND,
GIVE ME YOUR LIPS
AND WITH ONE KISS
WE BEGIN













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Re: The Advanced Writer's Club

Postby abbie-sama » Fri Jun 28, 2013 7:58 am

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DID I GET YOUR ATTENTION?!?!?!?!!?

Hey guys! I've got a new warriors fanfic up and I'd love if you could read it. It's actually not even connected to the books except for a little bit - I have my own characters and Clans - so it doesn't matter if you haven't read the books.

Anyway, here's the summary if you're not sure c:

Hundreds of moons have passed since the time of, as this generation calls it, "shadow, sky, thunder, and river", and now four new Clans rule the forest, new forms of their extinct predecessors. But, unbeknownst to them, one Clan hasn't taken its rightful place on these new lands. As a prophecy known to only one leader comes to pass, the world that these cats thought they knew well begins to change forever. Blood will spill, the belief of StarClan will sway, and two Clans will rise to take their place. But there can only be one.


If you liked, here's the link! I'd love if you could critique and comment there, thanks!

Click.
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