by ShadowRoselia » Sun Jan 15, 2012 12:25 am
Worst. Night. Ever.
I decided to try out a meditation video that helps you find your totem/spirit animal, and it was scary as goodness knows what. I followed the instructions, and all the while I was getting visions of mountain lions, then whilst was walking through the metaphorical 'meadow', it all went black and I was attacked by a mountain lion. It went as if to rip my throat out, but then I felt like I was falling, out of the reach of the mountain lion. I landed in the arms of a guy about 16, and he reminded me of an animal but I just couldn't put my finger on it. He asked if I was ok, and I said yes, then we both turned into mice, he a black furry one, and I a silvery grey mouse. He told me to follow him and we were in a black nothingness, but then we stopped and were looking at a screen which showed a scene of my life. I sorta sensed the name Aiemon or something similar for him, but he spoke to me as we watched the scene unfold. He explained that he'd always been watching over me and always will do, but then the person who was voicing for the video said that I had to slowly bring myself out, but I felt abruptly pulled out, not of my accord. I got dragged out and I felt terrible as soon as I came back into the real world.
I felt that I'd read all the wrong omens, thinking that my spirit animal was different to what it actually was, as I'd originally though it was a cat or bird, as I could relate events in my life to them, but I was wrong. Because I was so forcefully pulled out of the meeting with my animal, I thought it was because the gods were angry that I'd trespassed into their world, maybe the spirit world or something, but my mind was screaming at me after coming out. I felt really scared and had a sudden need for onyx stone, but luckily I have a lot of that around my bedroom, so I quickly found some and didn't want to put it down. I almost went into a total panic mode, and I couldn't sleep for hours. I probably only got to sleep at 3am because I was so terrified of angering the deities.