wesleydog wrote:She's awesome, though as of right now, I have no muse for her. <3
Anyone want to unofficially critique my personalities for 6 so far? Someone who's NOT going for them. ;D
Form. o3o
For Adelardo;"He's very sweet and considerate, always thinking of others before himself. He's a gentleman, like the one that's likely to hold open a door for a lady or help an elderly woman across the street."
"He's stayed a tad bashful, shy to meeting others, but he does find that once he gets out of his shell and enjoys himself in reality, he has a lot more in common with others than he thinks. Still though, he prefers only one as his mate, and is very solitary towards other people."
This just seems a little odd to me. He always thinks about others, and is kind, but is very solitary and prefers only being around his mate? Just seems to be an odd clash. Nothing wrong with it, but to me it doesn't really go together.
Keeping this in mind, though, he's not disrespectful on any senses or matters, and he's willing to be kind to every poor soul that he comes across, but he tries not to go out of his comfort zone into meeting new people on his own free will.
This seems to smooth it all out a little, so I really like this part. Maybe mentioning it near the other two would kind of know out that odd feeling I have? Dunno. xD
One thing, however, about Adelardo, that stands out more than any other thing, is how much he stays true to himself. He's always one for believing in himself, and self confidence is vital to life, but he's never one to boast or brag. He's all around a goody-goody, but as for Fedora...
I love this part about him so much! I love how it end so nicely, and mainly the way you word it. Nicely done!
All around, other then the parts I mentioned, I really like how it's coming out so far. I really want to see the veiws they have together, as I think that could affect his main personality a whole lot, so I am now stalking you. ;3
For Fedora;She's shady, and way more into secrets than Adelardo. However, she still doesn't share other's secrets, as she likes to greedily keep all facts to herself. She's an observer, and she loves to look at life in different ways. She has a tendency to follow what she sees others do, like a small puppet on a string, and she takes in facts like a notebook or computer. She's very intelligent, and this enables her to do so well a remembering things and collecting facts, little prizes that she gets nearly every day.
Here, you used the words "facts" more then once, and it tripped me up a little. But that's really nothing major, it's just the reading and wording of it all.
Fedora's life is like one big book with a lock on it, needing a key. And whenever that lock is opened, and the key is found, the words are smeared, and illegible. She seems to prefer this much more rather than being a readable book, open and dusty, hoping that someone will come along and turn its pages once more.
I love this right here. <3
Though, reading over it, I would actually put this at the very end, and put the last few sentences before these few, just to get a different affect.
Really I love her personality way more then Alderlardo, which is saying something because I love him. xD
I'm assuming that your really trying to get across the fact that she is really emotional, but tries to hide it, but it doesn't always end well? And the way you put it, it makes me want to think that she's very protective of Alderlardo... Am I right?
Either way, I love them both to death, and I love how you made them out to be.
I saw this:
Together -
Towards others ~
dshdfisfidsfiodofoisidfsfa
Towards each other ~
sjdfskfkkdkfkkskdkfkfd3i
And now I really need to see the rest of it. So, like I said, please update on here so I can look at them again. I love the way your doing them, even though I say that like twenty times already. x3
Great job, and keep up the great work!
/Ends failing around trying to critique/
And Glomp:
It's some sort of MP3 player, or maybe a cell phone. I can link you to the line art, considering how old you are.
If you've ever seen a human base, you'd know why. xD