[✩] Augusta Reynolds|17|she/her|Hades|Head counsellor|Zeus’ fist|tags:Orin
For the briefest fraction of a second, August thought that she was going to get away with it, that he was going to let it go and she could just walk away, continue on with the invention that nothing was wrong. Then he spoke again and she froze in her tracks, not turning back around yet.
We can ignore it, and maybe it’ll go away if we do. Yes. Please, please please. That was all that she wanted. It was easier not to deal with this. It was easier to walk away. But maybe it won't. She wanted to be mad. She wanted to be anything but terrified. He wasn’t running after her, or grabbing her arm or telling her to stop, and she was glad for that because she might’ve punched him if he did and she really didn’t want to do that, but the calm rationality in his voice was just as irritating. She didn’t want it to be anything but irritating, so that’s what she told herself it was.
She hadn’t moved, still standing rooted to the spot. Her heart was still pounding in her chest and her head felt fuzzy, but she couldn’t move, couldn’t turn around to face him. He spoke again and this time he sounded closer. Her hands clenched into fists inside her pockets. Did she actually want to go back to camp? Of course not, but at least the issues there were things she actually understood for the most part.
Auggie blinked hard, drew in a breath and put on her best impression of the cold, unbothered mask that had once come so easily to her. She didn’t care if he could see through it. She didn’t care if he didn’t believe her, he didn’t have a choice. She spun around to face him, gaze locking on his. She opened her mouth to respond but the words got stuck in her throat, refusing to come out. It would’ve been easier if she’d just ignored him and kept walking. The thought that she could give in to this briefly crossed her mind, if he’d trusted her enough to open up that she could do the same. But that only served to scare her more.
Her expression faltered only briefly before she finally responded. “It’s fine.” Her voice came out weaker than she would’ve liked, shaking slightly. “It’s fine, please, just…” She wasn’t sure what she was asking for, pleading with herself more than she was him. “It’s fine.” She knew the phrase she couldn’t seem to stop repeating was usually seen as a universal moniker for being the exact opposite. If the roles were reversed she knew that she wouldn’t believe it, but it wasn’t like she could tell him what was scaring her when she didn’t even know herself. She shook her head. “You can’t do anything. You don’t need to,” she clarified.