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by Simonpet » Sun Apr 26, 2015 8:00 am
Name: Pebblefang
Description: Light-grey mackerel tabby with white socks on each foot and green eyes.
Skill/Personality Notes: Pebblefang is normally kind and patient, and will follow the Warrior Code within reason. She usually won't intrude on privacy, but with her apprentice currently in a very reclusive state of mind. Pebblefang will do anything to help her.
Pebblefang isn't a great climber, though knows how to get up and get down. Her real skills lie both in hunting and fighting, though mostly focuses on hunting as there are currently no wars or fights between cats or clans.
Status wrote:The fly intestines have panned out simply
amazingly! I have co-authored a paper on
them, which is very exciting. In other
news, I'm a lil' nervous about the future
again but I'm hopeful things will work out.
Dragon Cave wrote:none yet
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Simonpet
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by Simonpet » Sun Apr 26, 2015 9:22 am
Thank you! I was hoping that she would be fine.
Status wrote:The fly intestines have panned out simply
amazingly! I have co-authored a paper on
them, which is very exciting. In other
news, I'm a lil' nervous about the future
again but I'm hopeful things will work out.
Dragon Cave wrote:none yet
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Simonpet
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by oraoblivionis » Sun Apr 26, 2015 9:32 am
Name; Arcticstreak
Gender; Male
Mate; A medicine cat called Dewpelt. He has amber eyes.
Description; Light gray tom with white dots on his pelt and a long white stripe going down his pelt.
Personality; He's a rebel, to say the least. He can become very soft, and yet, he is good in fighting.
Notes; He takes on any challenge, from keeping his mate, to following his father, Thornfoot, pawsteps.
Name; Dewpelt
Gender; Female
Mate; Arcticstreak
Description; A white she cat with a light gray chest, back, and paw. She has green eyes.
Personality; She is kind and can snap quickly into anger with one sentence.
Notes; She fears that Arcticstreak will follow his father into the Dark Forest.
Name; Thornfoot
Gender; Male
Mate; A unkown Loner.
Description; He is white with a brown paw. He has amber eyes.
Personality; He is bloodthirsty and evil. He killed his own mate, due to her wanting to take the kits with her.
Notes; He visits his son every night and tries to get him to join the Dark Forest.
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oraoblivionis
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by detective who. » Sun Apr 26, 2015 11:32 am
You're very welcome, Simon.
Hello, Mangle! You don't mind if I call you Mangle, do you? I'm afraid I'm going to be rather blunt here, and I have several things to make suggestions on, regarding both names and characters.
First, Arcticstreak. For starters, his prefix doesn't work, because the Arctic is really incredibly enormous and looks like a lot of different things in different places. I suggest you look over the Grey section of the prefix list over on Ailuronymy and see if you can find anything there that catches your fancy. Make sure the names you like fit, because some only work for darker grey cats.
I'm not sure what people have against -stripe, since they seem to use -streak a lot, which is not quite the same thing. I don't think he should have a -pelt descriptive suffix, though - he could possibly earn the -heart or -claw suffix. I'm inclined toward -heart, since he seems ready to go against any sort of challenge, as you said. He seems to have the personality for it.
I do have a couple of other problems, but I'll get to those in a moment.
Now for Dewpelt. Dew is transparent, so I'm not sure how it translates to a white cat. You probably ought to check the White section of the prefix list I linked above. Her suffix is fine, though, since you haven't listed any personality traits or skills worth a suffix.
I really don't know what's going on with her personality. Is she kind, or does she get angry easily? It's difficult to have both of those in the same person - a lot of the people I know who get angry easily aren't very kind, because 1) they are easily set off and find it difficult to be nice to people, and/or 2) they try to avoid people that make them angry, and that's often quite a few people. Getting angry easily isn't a very good trait for a medicine cat, either. Also, if she's that volatile, maybe she should have the suffix -storm instead.
I'd like to bring up some story points. Why and how are Dewpelt and Arcticstreak still a part of this Clan? Arcticstreak is, according to you, 'a rebel' who is very determined to keep his mate, the medicine cat, and Dewpelt seems perfectly willing to go along with this. Unless medicine cats taking mates isn't against this Clan's warrior code, I think the leader should be cracking down on these two - this is a very serious breach of the code, after all. I'm curious to hear your reasoning behind this.
And lastly, Thornfoot. Unhelpful prefix again here - thorns come in loads of different colours, and prefix is supposed to describe the cat. Check the White section of that list for him, too.
Why does he have the -foot suffix? There is nothing here about being fast, and that's what -foot represents. I'm not sure what to suggest for a new suffix, either, because you didn't really tell me anything about his personality.
'Evil' is not a personality, it's a perception of behaviour. Saying his personality is 'bloodthirsty and evil' just tells me he does bad things that would presumably be frowned upon. Everything else, I have to pick up from clues. I can gather he's selfish, since he killed his mate so he could bring his kits into the Clan. I can also note that he probably didn't actually love his mate, but he might care for his son, or he wants to destroy his son the way he destroyed himself. I'm not certain about any of these things, obviously, because he's your character and I am simply making judgements based on what little information you've given me about him.
I hope this helps, Mangle, and that I haven't offended you. I'd be happy to give further assistance and input if you'd like me to.
╔══════════════════════════╗peter/sherlock / adult / genetics major
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detective who.
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