---
&& 
him. && roxy.
I don't, don't, don't know what to do
It hurts so much when I'm not here with you.
And now you've gone and left
Leaving nothing behind but a single, beautiful goodbye.
I don't know what I should do
It hurts so much without you.
I walked to your grave, set down the rose. The blue necklace looked as if it was glowing as I held it in my trembling hands.
Just as I gave you my heart, it's what you gave to me. It was more than your heart, it was a part of you.
I promise I'll never break it.
"I remember when you left me. It was three days ago. Yes, I do believe I can remember it clearly. How could I not? The most beautiful, sweetest man I ever knew. Gone, just like that. Gone. I'm so sorry. I couldn't do a thing to help you in the end, could I? I know that you're right here beside me. I know you still love me, I'm so sorry."
I put my hand on your gravestone. Ethan, it read. Ethan. No last name, you never wanted your last name, never wanted to have any relation to the people that left you alone, by choice. By choice.
Nobody can see me crying in the rain. Nobody...
For the first time since you died, I looked at the grass in front of your grave.
There was a bird on the ground.
I held out my hand. I didn't care if it scratched me, I didn't care if it flew away.
It walked onto my arm, and from there, onto my shoulder.
The bird was brightly colored, orange and green and yellow and blue.
For the first time since you died, I smiled. Truly smiled.
It was a heartbroken smile, but it wasn't a mask.
I cried that day, but I knew you loved me.
I wasn't trying to convince myself.
I knelt on the grass near your grave.
"Ethan, thank you so much. Thank you for being so much more than I asked for. Thank you for being not what I wanted, but what I needed."
I left the graveyard a hour later. Yes, a hour.
Do you know what I did with the bird, Ethan?
I kept him. He had so many chances to escape, but he never did. I left the window open the whole time, and I gave him the best food I could find.
Do you know the reason I kept him?
He reminds me of you, Ethan. He chitters happily every time I come into the room, immediately flying over to my shoulder and rubbing his feathers against me.
I remember, your favorite animal was the lorikeet.
tell me boy
is there anything to fear
if you can't see yourself in the mirror?
it hurts so much without you, i just don't know what to do.
but...
let me tell you i'll always treasure
your beautiful goodbye.
more than anything else,
i'll always love you.
thank you so much, so so much.
▬▬❨
x 
ok. I was in a depressed mood, was looking at my favorite pets, and thought of a good story. I'll post it in while.
• Atheist
