&&
neil && anastasia
When we dance, we look just like fire
when we sing, we sound the same tone
we all have hearts, we all have homes
but when we die, we die alone.
"dearest stasia,
i write to you from a secret place, a place i hope you will never discover. it is far too dark and dreary for your pretty little face. i am glad you stayed behind. i haven't yet reached the printing company, but i'm sure they'll hire me. the journey has been long, especially without being able to hear your voice or hold you close. i promise to send for you as soon as i reach dublin and get my first wages.
with all my love,
neil"
the tears poured down stasia's face with each word she read. the letter was short, but long enough to feel her lover's words. if only he knew. she wouldn't ever be joining him. she couldn't. it had been too many months since he had left, too many. she grabbed a piece of paper off her writing desk and scribbled down a short note in the light of the dying sun coming through her window. sobs shook her.
"neil,
i am pregnant. my father has discovered. i am under lock and key, i will not be able to join you.
i love you, as will our child when i tell him the stories of his father. please forgive me, i did not know until a month after you left.
goodbye my love. i can not risk writing you again. i love you...
stasia"
"Oh what a mess,
as everything descends.
Oh what a mess, but everything amends"she sealed the letter into it's envelope and tied it to a ribbon. then she dropped it from her window to the messenger waiting below and turned to fall upon her bed, one hand holding her swollen stomach.
"you're all i have left now, little one..." she whispered to her unborn child. "all i have left of him..."
~~~
years passed with no response. she hadn't hoped for any.
their child was born, a healthy boy with his mother's face and his father's smile. oh, the days she spent tickling him, just to see that smile again. his father was a legend in his mind. kind, courageous, and loving. always an enigma, but comforting just the same.
"when will i get to see papa?" he'd ask, all childhood innocence and charm.
"someday." she would murmur, as hope once again began to flutter in her chest.
but the years ran by... and the silence stayed.
"Such it was so long ago
we always tried but failed
and now with new found consciousness
We stand here waiting to die"stasia was old now, much older than she thought she would ever live to be. her son, young neil, had left home years ago and started a family of his own. he had two little daughters and his wife, johanna, was expecting again. he had become a successful lawyer, and she couldn't have been prouder of him.
yet part of her heart was still missing.
the years had been kind to her, her hair was still long, though turned silver, and despite the wrinkles, her eyes still sparkled. he had given her enough love to last her to the end, she figured. the heartache had been constant, but never more than she could bear, a fact she had been grateful for. her son was her joy.
but yet...
she set the brush down on the top of her vanity and walked to the window, letting the cool breeze caress her face. looking down, she spotted a figure, an upturned face, a flash of recognition. her heart jumped in her chest. after all these years... could it be?
without another thought she threw a cloak over her dressing gown and raced down the stairs as fast as her old bones would let her. "please, please, please, dear god, just one more glance..." she begged breathlessly as she pushed the door open.
there he stood. a lone, haggard man, white hair peeking from beneath his cap. his hands were stained with ink and gnarled, worn down by years of earnest work. even through the wrinkles, stasia would never be able to forget the pale ice-green eyes and. she suddenly stopped, no more than a few feet from him, her heart pounding. they drank the site of each other in, then he muttered one word, a word that had never sounded as sweet before.
"stasia?"
she threw herself into his arms.
"oh, neil!" there was no question now. even through the wars and doubts, and silence, they had never forgotten each other.
"stasia... i'm sorry."
"shhh." she silenced him with a kiss. "it's alright now, i knew you would... i knew you would come back someday."
"i wanted.. i tried... oh, stasia, it's been so long." he held her out at arms length, still clutching her hand in his. "your eyes are still the same.."
"and your smile." she said. "i saw it everyday on the face of our son." his eyes brightened at her words.
"our... our son. yes. is he.. well?"
"his name is neil, and yes, he is very well. come... he lives not far away, we can go now, he must meet you..." she trailed off and looked at him. "would you like that...?" she asked.
"yes. very much so..." she embraced her again. "oh, stasia... i've never stopped loving you..."
"shhhh." she soothed away his guilt. "love is but a lesson in life, neil. a lesson you taught well. now, come. teach your son, he has waited long to meet you..." she took his hand and lead him down the path towards their son's house.
hand in hand they walked together, down the road to their son, and then not too much later, to the end of their lives.
together.
"But one of these days
You will learn to love again,
One of these days we will
learn to love again."{the song is called "life and death" by the dear hunter.
i'm quite infatuated with it at the moment. hope you'll take a look.
thanks for reading. ^^}
Sounds good.
&
