New Rule: DNI (Do Not Interact) Lists are Banned

[Coraychi]

I agree with this rule, but definitely not a lot of what's being said in here.

DNI lists absolutely open people up to harassment and bullying, and I am so glad that most of the people in here who have used DNI lists haven't experienced this, but that doesn't mean it doesn't happen. The fact that staff has made this decision alone tells me it probably has already happened many times on CS, and I know it has on other sites as well.

However, I strongly disagree that DNI lists including certain fandoms are merely "petty".
I shouldn't need to go into detail about this, but there are any number of reasons that seeing content from a certain piece of media or content creator - whether it's part of the conversation or not - could be triggering to someone. Even if someone doesn't know that a creator they're supporting is a deplorable person, it doesn't mean that it can't be upsetting or triggering to see their face plastered on someone's signature and avatar as they slide into your inbox.
I still agree with the ban on DNI lists, but please, be a bit more open-minded instead of writing people with genuine concerns off as being petty.

[LemonadeLyric]

For some reason my post wouldn’t send but I’ll state it again.

It’s so much easier to find people who LIKE the things you like than to block those who like things you don’t. Take my signature, for example. I only have a list of my interests and I’ve gotten countless DMs and trade requests referencing them.

Meanwhile, a DNI means either a person I don’t want to talk to me doesn’t talk to me, or they DO in which case I have to block them anyways. If they see it and leave, it doesn’t mean they’ll always check the DNI and make sure they’re still “banned” and whatnot.

Fully supporting this rule change still and I’m glad to see the mods taking down petty and rude comments as well.

[cuddlewuffle]

waaa my post got deleted so allow me to rephrase

wanting DNI lists for the purpose of advertising which fans you don't support for the support that you perceive them to be giving towards X problematic facet of the thing they like is, at best, unnecessary, and at worst, hypocritical.

it doesn't really serve a purpose other than arguing that one should be allowed to discretely say "hey, this group of people who likes X media sucks, and if you like that media and you're reading this, stay the hell away from me!"

and the irony in this is that frankly most people with DNI lists like that could just as easily get put on someone else's DNI list. so it just feels like a moot point to me. like i can't see that kind of DNI list as anything else other than rude bickering, that attempts to indirectly shame whoever it's about.

-snip-
However, I strongly disagree that DNI lists including certain fandoms are merely "petty".
-snip-
Even if someone doesn't know that a creator they're supporting is a deplorable person, it doesn't mean that it can't be upsetting or triggering to see their face plastered on someone's signature and avatar as they slide into your inbox.
I still agree with the ban on DNI lists, but please, be a bit more open-minded instead of writing people with genuine concerns off as being petty.

i totally agree, i don't think it's always a "petty" thing- but what i mean is that often times, when it comes to the moral argument, some people are combative and argumentative and entirely dismissive of someone just because they like X thing, without knowing any more about them.

basically assuming that someone who is a part of that fandom supports whatever it is that they're against. it can come across like a want to be on a moral high ground, so that you can go "stay away from me if you even so much as support that thing, how deplorable!"

they're not always petty but there can be something to be said about the hypocrisy that goes on with it.

[Zeena]

[quote="pico"]you can say that this isn't the place for DNIs all you want, but that's simply not true? this is a forum site. people interact with each other here. some people are traumatized and don't want to interact with those who could potentially send them into an episode. some people get very heated over different opinions and just don't want to interact with those that they have opposing opinions with. some people just.. don't want to interact with certain people?

if you're going to run a website where people interact with each other, you have to be able to let them curate that experience themselves, and for some people that means letting them have a DNI.[/quote]
One thing I've learned from going through severe abuse and intense trauma (I literally have several nightmares a night EVERY night) is that the kind of people you don't want to interact with do not care about you, let alone your DNI lists. DNI lists won't stop abusers or their enablers/allies, especially because many believe they aren't abusive.

[pico]

waaa my post got deleted so allow me to rephrase

wanting DNI lists for the purpose of advertising which fans you don't support for the support that you perceive them to be giving towards X problematic facet of the thing they like is, at best, unnecessary, and at worst, hypocritical.

it doesn't really serve a purpose other than arguing that one should be allowed to discretely say "hey, this group of people who likes X media sucks, and if you like that media and you're reading this, stay the hell away from me!"

and the irony in this is that frankly most people with DNI lists like that could just as easily get put on someone else's DNI list. so it just feels like a moot point to me. like i can't see that kind of DNI list as anything else other than rude bickering, that attempts to indirectly shame whoever it's about.

-snip-
However, I strongly disagree that DNI lists including certain fandoms are merely "petty".
-snip-
Even if someone doesn't know that a creator they're supporting is a deplorable person, it doesn't mean that it can't be upsetting or triggering to see their face plastered on someone's signature and avatar as they slide into your inbox.
I still agree with the ban on DNI lists, but please, be a bit more open-minded instead of writing people with genuine concerns off as being petty.

i totally agree, i don't think it's always a "petty" thing- but what i mean is that often times, when it comes to the moral argument, some people are combative and argumentative and entirely dismissive of someone just because they like X thing, without knowing any more about them.

basically assuming that someone who is a part of that fandom supports whatever it is that they're against. it can come across like a want to be on a moral high ground, so that you can go "stay away from me if you even so much as support that thing, how deplorable!"

they're not always petty but there can be something to be said about the hypocrisy that goes on with it.

hey arent you the one that called them petty to begin with? when you said "and like, what purpose does that serve? other than being rude ? and petty ? "

[Jijing]

I agree with this rule, but definitely not a lot of what's being said in here.

DNI lists absolutely open people up to harassment and bullying, and I am so glad that most of the people in here who have used DNI lists haven't experienced this, but that doesn't mean it doesn't happen. The fact that staff has made this decision alone tells me it probably has already happened many times on CS, and I know it has on other sites as well.

However, I strongly disagree that DNI lists including certain fandoms are merely "petty".
I shouldn't need to go into detail about this, but there are any number of reasons that seeing content from a certain piece of media or content creator - whether it's part of the conversation or not - could be triggering to someone. Even if someone doesn't know that a creator they're supporting is a deplorable person, it doesn't mean that it can't be upsetting or triggering to see their face plastered on someone's signature and avatar as they slide into your inbox.
I still agree with the ban on DNI lists, but please, be a bit more open-minded instead of writing people with genuine concerns off as being petty.

As much as I wish this was a perfect world, sometimes you do have to put up with somebody who has a TV show or videogame that triggers you in their signature for example. I get triggered just like everybody else and as much as CS does to shield you from that and make this a healthy environment for everybody, it's also something that a person has to work personally as well. That goes with mental health problems in general.

I have depression and anxiety, but sometimes I have to face people or events that trigger me. What I focus on in my therapy session and medication is finding healthy ways to cope with this trigger. I can't control what people say around me or how they behave. Again, 9/10 times somebody is not intentionally trying to trigger you, they just don't know and didn't want to hurt you. I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt because I know most people mean no harm.

I cannot stress this enough. If somebody triggers you, block them immediately! If they are breaking a rule, report them and block them immediately!

[cuddlewuffle]

you can say that this isn't the place for DNIs all you want, but that's simply not true? this is a forum site. people interact with each other here. some people are traumatized and don't want to interact with those who could potentially send them into an episode. some people get very heated over different opinions and just don't want to interact with those that they have opposing opinions with. some people just.. don't want to interact with certain people?

if you're going to run a website where people interact with each other, you have to be able to let them curate that experience themselves, and for some people that means letting them have a DNI.

the problem though is that a DNI list is like, the opposite of curating something urself. it's doing nothing and expecting the people in ur local vicinity to do that for you. like instead of someone blocking people they don't want to interact with they put up a list of things that could put them into an episode and are asking strangers to see that list & act accordingly

-snip-

hey arent you the one that called them petty to begin with? when you said "and like, what purpose does that serve? other than being rude ? and petty ? "

i meant that in the context that i described, like with the sentiment of

"god, i hate this group of ppl who like this thing, they're so annoying, STAY AWAY FROM ME!"

the idea of someone thinking themselves morally better than members of a fandom

[LemonadeLyric]

the problem though is that a DNI list is like, the opposite of curating something urself. it's doing nothing and expecting the people in ur local vicinity to do that for you. like instead of someone blocking people they don't want to interact with they put up a list of things that could put them into an episode and are asking strangers to see that list & act accordingly

Sorry if the quote is glitchy I’m new to mobile haha

But YES cannot agree with this more! You’re expecting others to curate your experience for you, and you’re relying on those people you DONT LIKE to NOT interact with you.

I hope you can understand how frustrating this is to say repeatedly again and again but if you don’t feel safe without a DNI, you need to talk to a professional or a trusted adult. Because a DNI will NOT keep you safe and will more than likely only put you into danger or have others see you as this “petty” person for putting people on a DNI for various reasons.

You can’t control what people will interact with you, and the DNI is nothing compared to the block button. And the block button is protected by staff and they will handle block evasions.

[Serial designation N]

I agree with this rule. DNI lists really don’t have a place on a site with impressionable children. Not only do they have sensitive content, but I find that many are offensive as well and promote bullying or harassment of individuals the author of the said list does not like. After the “basic dni criteria” I find that most lists are purely fandom based and go out of their way to make whatever they aren’t interested in sound as evil as possible. This really serves no purpose but to spread misinformation and insinuate harassment. No place on here for it. I’ve never read a DNI list that didn’t follow this aggressive formula. I feel like most are purposefully so.

[raiden]

We do not allow users to share they are minors, so this is something we could not enforce, and therefore falls under things that are not suitable for a DNI on CS. Minors on CS speak with adults every day, and all PMs must follow CS rules so there is no danger to either party if PMs between a minor and adult occur. If anyone PMs you and you don't want to talk to them, you don't need to reply. If this is something you are very concerned about, please be aware that a lot of CS users are minors, and this is a site aimed at minors. You may turn of your PMs or set them to friends only if you want to avoid minors.

hello! just to clarify, this new rule also suggests that the opposite is true, right? with that being users can no longer request that adults not message them privately, as opposed to asking minors to not interact, yeah? thank you!