New Rule: DNI (Do Not Interact) Lists are Banned

[Simon]

Just wanted to say quickly, we don’t come up with rules out of thin air. This has been a topic of discussion among staff for long time now and was not taken lightly. Most rules that we have are created due to an urgent need / influx of reports or incidents that we feel warrants our action. This is a family friendly site and our rules will always prioritize user safety.

[Larkspur1678]

I gotta actually agree with this one. There are better ways to go about avoiding your triggers. Especially since CS is a forum based site where users hardly click on your links if they’re just casually chatting on threads. I don’t even know if a user on a thread has me blocked let alone what their DNI list is without actively checking everyone I respond to.

Also to those asking, yes people on CS have had their DNI/trigger lists used against them purposefully before.

A better alternative would be to have ‘please don’t mention x when talking to me’ for genuine triggers if it makes you feel safer. I believe the main reason DNIs are being banned is because it goes against CS’s anti-x statements rule.

[Lacuna]

As an adult player, am I still able to say something like, for example, "please don't send me a PM if you are a minor since I am an adult", or is that too similar to DNI?

I was a bit curious about this one as well, not personally but I’ve seen a few people state this in sigs/etc

Little bump for this question! Not something I’d personally use, but I do know that there are a good amount of people wondering about this

We do not allow users to share they are minors, so this is something we could not enforce, and therefore falls under things that are not suitable for a DNI on CS. Minors on CS speak with adults every day, and all PMs must follow CS rules so there is no danger to either party if PMs between a minor and adult occur. If anyone PMs you and you don't want to talk to them, you don't need to reply. If this is something you are very concerned about, please be aware that a lot of CS users are minors, and this is a site aimed at minors. You may turn of your PMs or set them to friends only if you want to avoid minors.

Also: Like and dislike lists are not banned. More harmless things ending up here are more about concerns with enforcement, as we can't really help you if you find out someone who likes a fandom PMed you about something totally unrelated.

[p2iimon]

i like this rule. this is anecdotal but in the years where i had a dni, it didnt do anything to stop people from interacting with me, especially passively, compared to after i got rid of it as far as i can tell. i did however have a couple of instances of people trying to make me uncomfortable with what they knew i didnt like. i just think the cons (harassment) outweigh the pros (the illusion of safety)

[tifa]

ok silly comment aside i never felt the need for a dni list personally but i don't really understand the need to force other people to remove theirs. if that's what they feel safe doing all power to them. sure maybe not every single person is going to check their profile for a dni list but having it there just may make a difference compared to not having it at all. i do agree that "dni if youre racist, homophobic, etc" could be omitted from those lists because it's pretty self explanatory that those are terrible people nobody should be interacting with at all. but by the same token cs is a safe place for all demographics and during the time i DID have a DNI list i was never harassed to my knowledge. that's not to say it doesn't happen but on a site as small as cs it's just not as common. i'm going to reiterate a point from a deleted reply that i agreed with -- offenders that DO take advantage of these triggers should be punished, not the people listing those DNIs. it's just weird to me. if these DNIs are not harming other people in nature and solely exist to make the user comfortable i don't see an issue...

also telling ppl to get help/tell a trusted adult doesn't really affect much considering a lot of people might already be getting help or may not even have the resources to do so. healing from trauma related to a trigger is a long process, it doesn't happen overnight.

[Mewfles]

i like this rule. this is anecdotal but in the years where i had a dni, it didnt do anything to stop people from interacting with me, especially passively, compared to after i got rid of it as far as i can tell. i did however have a couple of instances of people trying to make me uncomfortable with what they knew i didnt like. i just think the cons (harassment) outweigh the pros (the illusion of safety)

Huge agreement here, people online are not the best, it's not the best idea either, I have had people on other sites/social medias send me dni lists to target people. Overall while it may feel safe it definitely does not keep you safe. To also add on, anxiety when dealing with others is not an excuse to make one of these lists because more than not likely, you will find yourself targeted. Please understand the internet is not the place to go to for these matters and seeing a professional is best!

[GoldieDoggy]

Would like to say this is a very good rule change. DNI lists are seen a lot and I don’t agree with them in the slightest, because putting something like “(criminal/bad intentioned people) DNI!” when the reality is nobody who actually has those mindsets is going to be listening to your list informing them not to interact with you.I also appreciate calling attention to things like the “repost/sign up/do this if you do/don’t support x” because in reality any normal person wouldnt say they support something like abuse and wouldn’t need to affirm this to other people, it’s common deceny.

If you need extremely specific things in your DNI list then it’s best you keep it to yourself for your own safety and block those who may fit into it, may it be avoiding content including bugs for example. The fact people are disagreeing with this rule change is concerning, it’s basic internet safety in my opinion not to put your specific DNIs or triggers out for anybody to see. It is partially YOUR responsibility to avoid uncomfortable people, content etc. Sometimes there will be content or things that make you feel uncomfortable in your life, but I try my best to avoid content or situations that will intentionally upset me.

I notice this usually is something I see young people do and it puts a huge target on your head, that fits into all sorts of things that reveal personal information. One of the first things I learned and many others did too is to be careful what information you share about yourself, I thought this was still actively something taught and understood but I have noticed some people go as far to say “I don’t trust people who don’t have a [secondary website that includes a lot of personal information including what harms them]”. So i guess the idea of internet safety and privacy is not the same anymore, lol.

It’s often very exclusionary, as another has mentioned here. I can somewhat understand the CONCEPT of DNI lists but they just don’t seem very useful or practical. So thank you for this change, it’s a positive one, in my personal opinion.

Yes!!! One of the very first thing I learned (even before I had access to the internet) is to not share personal information with strangers. That’s why I did not share the password for my certification account (certification app, contains info on your address and everything) with the teacher via google. If someone else sees that? They know where we live. That’s why I rarely ever share my age online, I’ve never shared my first name, don’t share what state I live in, etc. the only info I ever share is things that cannot be used to harm me, like my favorite color. DNI lists have been proven to pretty much only be useful to those who seek to harm others.

[Lacuna]

Just want to be clear, if someone messages you something triggering with intent to hurt you that will be pretty clear and still falls under our rules for harassment. It will be moderated if this occurs and is reported, even if you don't have a DNI list.

[pico]

you can say that this isn't the place for DNIs all you want, but that's simply not true? this is a forum site. people interact with each other here. some people are traumatized and don't want to interact with those who could potentially send them into an episode. some people get very heated over different opinions and just don't want to interact with those that they have opposing opinions with. some people just.. don't want to interact with certain people?

if you're going to run a website where people interact with each other, you have to be able to let them curate that experience themselves, and for some people that means letting them have a DNI.

[Jijing]

I honestly agree with this and think CS's reasons for terminating DNIs are valid. In general, most of the DNI's I have seen though haven't really been about trigger topics (though of course racism, sexism, homophobia, etc. is almost always on the list), but rather fandoms that a person doesn't like which seems petty to me. You're, in essence, judging how somebody will interact with you based on a TV show or Youtuber they like? We can't just all respect that we have differences of opinion and leave it at that? I feel like DNIs are used to weed off pet peeves not genuinely bigoted people.

I also feel like DNI lists don't really mean anything. Yes, you can say, "don't PM me if you're ___" but it won't stop somebody from doing that (especially if they're trying to trigger you intentionally or troll you). The way I choose who I do and do not interact with is based on my own personal interactions with them.

While I'd like to be naive and say that young CS users are 100% safe and protected, the truth is that there are bad people on the internet and they can exist on CS or anywhere for that matter. Kids do overshare sometimes (I've been that naive kid before) and are at risk on the internet, so if you don't agree with CS's decision, I feel that the rule being in place will do more good than harm in the long run.

I do agree though with some of the rebuttals to this as well, however. I understand CS wants to be safe and appropriate for all ages, but with that said, it seems very easy to cut off communication with somebody you do not wish to interact with on here. I have noticed a lot of people on CS are very liberal with how they use the block button, and I've never really seen any issue with harassment, cyber-bullying, etc. in my nearly 10 years of using CS.