New Rule: DNI (Do Not Interact) Lists are Banned

[bogosbinted]

nice rule i like it

[Zeena]

I think a lot of people here seem to not understand what DNIs are, they are simply a list of groups you ask not to interact with you. (ex: minors DNI) This isn't personal information, nor can it be used to harm you. It's setting a boundary in place to people on the site. Boundaries are important, and not harmful. Having no idea who you're interacting with is pretty scary! So on sites like CS where sharing of personal info is not allowed, at least telling groups of people not to interact is a quick solution. That way, they don't have to share anything about themselves, and if they are nice, they will respect your boundaries. It would only be used to target you if that person specifically is out to harm you, in which case DNI or lack thereof wouldn't do anything, as people who want to harm you will do so regardless of whether you have them on your DNI or not. But it is a helpful tool for those that ARE respectful. For example, if I saw a page saying "CS users DNI" I wouldn't interact, to respect that person and their boundaries. The only time you will come across someone's DNI is if you are actively already trying to harm them, or earnestly trying to follow them. One of these situations the DNI has no affect on, the other it is very useful for. I grew up in the age of internet safety too, but since have found that blindly interacting with anyone is dangerous and uncomfortable.

i think what theyre getting at is that this is exactly their point- itll create an unguarded spot for some users with dni lists, as they expose all of their vulnerabilities ^^

Edit:

When it comes to things that aren’t inappropriate for cs, would it be against the rules to say something like “please don’t talk to me about X fandom” or “don’t mention X character to me” I think that may be a better alternative to not interacting with someone at all, once again, that is if it’s not against the rules and I’m not sure if it is or not.

I'd also like to know this. While I'm very much in favour of the DNI ban, I know that some characters can have triggering topics discussed that some people would prefer to avoid, and that does seem like something worth accomodating. It would likely still be an issue with exposing someone's triggers to the internet, though, so I'm uncertain.

I have something on my carrd to not talk to me about a certain show as it displeases me, but if someone did anyway I wouldn't fret that much and just tell them I don't want to talk about it

some people are genuinely triggered by some characters and fandoms, it is not the same for every one

i would like to learn more too

[.:Scruffy:.]

Sorry - but DNI lists can absolutely be used to harm you. Not everyone is going to respect your list. If somebody doesn't like you and happens to be a bad person, they have the chance to use all of that and message you/harass you about these things - possibly triggering you in the process. Not everyone is going to respect your boundaries. It is unfortunate, it is scary, but it's true. DNI lists definitely "have an effect" on people actively trying to harm you because they now have all that information on things that make you uncomfortable or upset or have an anxiety attack.

Don't get me wrong - I always respect and adhere to DNI lists when I see them, but saying they can't harm you is a mistake at best and potentially dangerous misinformation at worst.

[LordGhoul]

When it comes to things that aren’t inappropriate for cs, would it be against the rules to say something like “please don’t talk to me about X fandom” or “don’t mention X character to me” I think that may be a better alternative to not interacting with someone at all, once again, that is if it’s not against the rules and I’m not sure if it is or not.

I'd also like to know this. While I'm very much in favour of the DNI ban, I know that some characters can have triggering topics discussed that some people would prefer to avoid, and that does seem like something worth accomodating. It would likely still be an issue with exposing someone's triggers to the internet, though, so I'm uncertain.

I don't think that would count as it's not a list and just a single statement, if that makes sense.

Additionally, people especially with certain topic or word triggers should really look into getting a browser extensions that can blacklist words as those usually work everywhere, I think someone linked a few of those further up in the thread.

[roots.]

Sorry - but DNI lists can absolutely be used to harm you. Not everyone is going to respect your list. If somebody doesn't like you and happens to be a bad person, they have the chance to use all of that and message you/harass you about these things - possibly triggering you in the process. Not everyone is going to respect your boundaries. It is unfortunate, it is scary, but it's true. DNI lists definitely "have an effect" on people actively trying to harm you because they now have all that information on things that make you uncomfortable or upset or have an anxiety attack.

Don't get me wrong - I always respect and adhere to DNI lists when I see them, but saying they can't harm you is a mistake at best and potentially dangerous misinformation at worst.

I think you are confusing a DNI list with a trigger list. Trigger lists are dangerous. DNIs are not trigger lists

[LordGhoul]

Sorry - but DNI lists can absolutely be used to harm you. Not everyone is going to respect your list. If somebody doesn't like you and happens to be a bad person, they have the chance to use all of that and message you/harass you about these things - possibly triggering you in the process. Not everyone is going to respect your boundaries. It is unfortunate, it is scary, but it's true. DNI lists definitely "have an effect" on people actively trying to harm you because they now have all that information on things that make you uncomfortable or upset or have an anxiety attack.

Don't get me wrong - I always respect and adhere to DNI lists when I see them, but saying they can't harm you is a mistake at best and potentially dangerous misinformation at worst.

I think you are confusing a DNI list with a trigger list. Trigger lists are dangerous. DNIs are not trigger lists

Sometimes they involve triggers though, ie people that won't interact with someone due to their trauma.

[Klaora]

I've been following this thread for a while just because I think it's interesting, but here's something that hasn't been brought up but has happened to me a small handful of times:

People commission me for art, pay in full upfront, and then send me a character sheet. On that page is a DNI list and I fit on that category.
Or someone will follow me or send me a trade on a website and, whump, wouldn't you know it? I fit on their DNI

Like....what do you do when someone approaches YOU and you're on their DNI list?

It's a whole 'nother can of worms that mods have to deal with in these situations and there's no easy answer on this one.

[Mew65ii]

I'm honestly glad these of getting rid of, even if I'm not that active on here and never used DNI lists myself. I have been exposed to a lot of disgusting stuff that I wished I never even heard of, due to DNI lists since I didn't know what the term was and wondered if I fell into that category. I honestly think as of recently, I been exposed to this kind of stuff way more thanks to DNI lists having certain words, rather than just scrolling through the internet on my own time.

Also, there are some way better ways on here to protect against things you don't wanna see, without revealing to the whole internet things that trigger you. Like changing your PM settings and blocking people. CS is pretty awesome for this, with changing these settings being very easy compared to other websites I seen.

It's also not very safe to post things about you online anyway, especially triggers. It's similar to how I seen people post things like "Hey! Don't interact with me if you're a weirdo or creepy person because I'm (minor age here)!", it's not helping you stay safe even with the illusion of safety, and only making yourself more of a target to those things of people. The internet's not a safe place, I can tell you that on my own word. People can avoid telling you and ignore these DNI lists if they want to/don't care, which I have experienced myself with some creepy people.

[xX_Kiefernholz_Xx]

I've been following this thread for a while just because I think it's interesting, but here's something that hasn't been brought up but has happened to me a small handful of times:

People commission me for art, pay in full upfront, and then send me a character sheet. On that page is a DNI list and I fit on that category.
Or someone will follow me or send me a trade on a website and, whump, wouldn't you know it? I fit on their DNI

Like....what do you do when someone approaches YOU and you're on their DNI list?

It's a whole 'nother can of worms that mods have to deal with in these situations and there's no easy answer on this one.

If it's in a transactional situation, easy: Finish the transaction, and do not mention anything about their DNI or continue to interact afterwards.

[Bayza]

I'm honestly glad these of getting rid of, even if I'm not that active on here and never used DNI lists myself. I have been exposed to a lot of disgusting stuff that I wished I never even heard of, due to DNI lists since I didn't know what the term was and wondered if I fell into that category. I honestly think as of recently, I been exposed to this kind of stuff way more thanks to DNI lists having certain words, rather than just scrolling through the internet on my own time.

I had the same issue but rather, people's DNI lists would contain their triggers and then proceed to trigger me when I was at my worst because of commonly shared triggers. There was a time I had to avoid social media altogether because of this common practice. DNI lists do more harm to everyone involved than protect the maker of it.

To anyone who opposes this rule or has a DNI list, I ask you to consider this because it happens so often to so many people.