New Rule: DNI (Do Not Interact) Lists are Banned

[blurry_cat1]

uhh... even I readed it I don't know what we are talking about.. if someone could write what is this DNI (do not interact) list I would appreciate cuz I completely do not understand this

It's basically a list of people you don't want to PM you or interact with you based on what they say, are interested in, etc.

For example, "do not interact if you are homophobic"

ooooh I understand now! tysm ^^!

[ellebee]

Just popping in to say that this rule is a great idea! I can really understand where the mods are coming from, and any potential discourse around the new rule has been explained and defended great by CS staff and users.
A huge reminder to everyone here that this is a children's site. A lot of adults and teens tend to forget that when interacting on this site, it's not just any forum, it's a kid's game, so when discussing the rules, please keep that in mind! I can see from what some users are saying that a DNI almost seems like a security blanket (for lack of a better term), which is okay, but if interacting here is that stress-inducing where you would require that form of protection, like others said, you may need to take a step back from the site and focus on why you may be feeling that way and what you can do to better help yourself.
And from the mods perspective (as a third-party CS discord mod), I really empathize with the struggle to moderate certain things stated in carrds and other places, as these DNI lists can contain things that aren't suitable for CS, and really, if someone got into an argument with you and saw that your DNI list said "DNI if you like <scary thing>, as it triggers me", you bet they immediately have ammo to trigger you, and on a kids site, it's very dangerous to have that personal info available.
Like I said above, it's a children's site, and minors especially really shouldn't be putting that kind of information out there, it's simply not safe!

As for the whole mental health thing, I have to agree that your mental health is not the responsibility of any CS user or staff, and if you have time to be on CS, you have time to reach out for help and look at your options.
As someone who's suffered from severe mental illness and trauma since I was born, and am currently studying psychology in post-secondary, I can empathize with people feeling like they have no options, that none of them work, etc. If you feel that nothing's working, you don't feel the motivation to do so, or you simply don't feel like change will help, it's definitely time to spend time with yourself and readying yourself to get help first. Only when you're open to changing for the better and healing trauma will things feel like they're changing.
And like was stated on the thread many times, healing does NOT happen overnight, so these online resources won't either! It takes time, and willingness to heal.
Some people can't have a lot of access to this help, whether it be from a tough life at home, an environment not suitable for that change, or otherwise, so these suggestions may not be for everyone, but like staff and others said, please reach out to a trusted adult for help, whether that be a family member, a counsellor, or someone who can help you better than strangers on the internet could <3

Sorry oh man that was long- hope it made sense!!
tl;dr i like the rule lol

(also edit, I'm not sure what is and isn't aimed at my post so i do have to clarify for my own anxiety that i wasn't saying oh go to therapy lol shut up about your list, it was just an add on to what others were suggesting about therapy! some people don't want to, simply arent ready, or don't have access. and that's okay! it was a suggestion, but not a tell-all solution, its not always that simple, and i understand and acknowledge that <3)

[Hobpie]

I would really recommend doing some exposure therapy if your DNI list has fandoms and characters in it, no reason to live in fear and keep fueling the fire by putting them in a dedicated list of toxic things, I've been doing this for years and it works. I'm sure my younger self would be doing the same thing right now, but DNI lists are not the solution in any way shape or form. I really truly want you guys to get better and not feel the need to have these lists! But in the mean time, it currently has no room on this site.

Just so you know, DNIs aren't exclusive to triggers/fears. As someone mentioned earlier, DNI lists are sometimes used to ostracize others. I don't really see this form of DNI to fit the site's rules either. So, I think it's safe to bet that not everyone who lists a fandom or character is genuinely triggered or fearful of it. It may just be their way to exclude others (not that every person who includes a fandom does this).

[bfdi]

warning, a long paragraph with no certain theme

ok, it may be that someone had said it already, but

If you find you are often being triggered browsing the forums, we do have settings to disable avatars, signatures, and even images in posts.

do i actually need to remove all the fun stuff because of some person that may trigger me with something?
it's like. do your parents also tell you not to go to school or outside at all because there might be someone who in theory might trigger you? so you should isolate? if they do, okay then.
and it's actually that i really enjoy such threads like 'signature first impressions', 'do you know the avatar above' that it pains me to think i'll have to turn off because of certain person that i do not like. and blocking them doesn't help at all if they're active forum user.
and as a greyscale theme user, in case i might get a panic attack in case i see something disturbing, it's no help at all. you see, all the avatars are blurred and...grey scaled, but what about bios? stamps? and i know that most of stamps are based off actual pets and animals, don't point me with that. i'm not trying to say that all the stamps are so flashy, but would it be bad to at least make them ( eyebleed warning ) greyish in greyscale theme? yea, if you might not have noticed, all the stuff above is about greyscale theme, i don't have no complainings about the other themes. mostly because i don't use them.
i may see people with disturbing signatures and stamp collections that i'd like to just unsee, but do i need to turn off ALL THE BIOS only because of some people? what even kind of logic is that?
i never used dni lists, but what's so wrong with one simple line in someone's bio saying "DNI if you are racist please!"? it's not kind of a long text, it's not offensive ( if it was i'd like to remove them too, but i don't see nothing wrong with it ), it's just that we do not want to waste time arguing with people on the internet on specific themes, that's it. i just don't understand the meaning of this update while we have other things to work with.
what if someone links their off-site bio ( carrd, toyhouse ) and there will be DNI list? are you guys willing to check everything and warn everyone? /genuinely

it's just my opinion, you may disagree and it's also okay to tell your opinion.

[Lanayru]

I don't personally have a DNI list up - I just block any ppl in annoying fandoms and w bad takes on sight. HOWEVER, some of you are being REALLY dismissive of other users' mental health to the point where it's extremely condescending and I ask you to reconsider how you go about discussing others' experiences. Some mental illnesses are easier to find treatment for than others - someone with depression/anxiety preaching how easy getting help is is really tone-deaf. I am speaking w/ personal experience of getting treatment for those two vs getting treatment for other stuff so do not jump on me for """belittling depression/anxiety!!!""" :--/

Editing to clarify - I am VERY pro-therapy/pro-diagnosis and was greatly helped by it! But accessing therapy is not automatically easy.

[dave gahans husband]

is there a difference between dni lists and dislike lists cause i feel like theyre essentially the same
example:

dni if you like dream smp

dislikes list: dream smp

with both a dream smp fan probably wouldnt interact with that person cause if they dislike it that persons not gonna interact
and then if they got it on a dni list instead that person wont interact so im confused

[Prince Jackdaw]

The main thing most of the "pro DNI lists" people seem to be missing is this:

The people that intend to be nasty to you are not going to listen to your list, except as a convenient "this is how I trigger this person" checklist. The ONLY thing I've ever seen DNI lists cause is harassment, drama, and targeting. I think this rule change is a good change overall.

[puffy]

is there a difference between dni lists and dislike lists cause i feel like theyre essentially the same
example:

dni if you like dream smp

dislikes list: dream smp

with both a dream smp fan probably wouldnt interact with that person cause if they dislike it that persons not gonna interact
and then if they got it on a dni list instead that person wont interact so im confused

bumping this

[Skye Fawn]

I was incorrect! Sorry!

[dave gahans husband]

is there a difference between dni lists and dislike lists cause i feel like theyre essentially the same
example:

dni if you like dream smp

dislikes list: dream smp

with both a dream smp fan probably wouldnt interact with that person cause if they dislike it that persons not gonna interact
and then if they got it on a dni list instead that person wont interact so im confused

bumping this

I believe this would go against the "anti" rule which I will quote below.

“Anti-” statements in user profiles or as a thread topic. Statements may break this rule even if they do not include the prefix “anti-” if they are intended to be negative. Please express your interests in a positive manner.

Its fine to have dislikes, but if your dislike is against people belonging to a certain fandom, then it should not be discussed here.

asking one of the people actually responsible for enforcing this rule