New Rule: DNI (Do Not Interact) Lists are Banned

[ouroboros]

@Poodlette majority of the options you listed are not good. hotlines will put you on hold, and cheap/free therapists... well, you get what you pay for. charity organizations? maybe, i have no personal experience with those. school counselors and the like usually don't understand, from my experience at least. and what about homeschooled children? i've met quite a few of them on cs, it's not like they have access to school counselors. also i'd like to mention that getting help isn't as easy as you say it is. it's a long process, you have to build up courage.


i feel like a DNI list can be used as a boundary. this rule was apparently implemented to protect the younger players, but what if it's doing more harm than good?

people get harassed for their DNI lists, and people also get harassed for their interests. Should we ban talking about that, too? What's the difference? /gq

[ranuncudahlia]

i'm still confused how this is suddenly an issue. i've had it up for AGES and never had anything wrong happen, apparently until now when i had to take it down. i'm sure lots of people did too, until you mods just started going around saying it's not allowed. everything was normal until then, so thanks a lot for disrupting that.

From what I understood reading all of the comments posted so far, this was a problem for staff behind the scenes. People were sending in reports or bringing up issues to staff, and the staff basically had no way to moderate the situation safely from all sides. The problem isn't people having DNI lists, it's that if people have to report someone for interacting with them despite being on the DNI list, yet the user involved didn't know about the list and/or you could've easily prevented it (disabling signatures & avatars, or preventing PMs from players who aren't your friends), it was causing a headache for staff because they can't really do anything about it. As someone who is actively a moderator in other places, I can assume that staff were being forced to basically tell users that they can't do anything about the report because they can't prove it was actually harassment, which takes an emotional and mental toll on moderators over time, as a lot of times it leads to the reporting user getting frustrated and taking it out on the moderator.

Just because you've never personally encountered these problems, doesn't mean staff weren't going through them, unfortunately.

[mourning dove]

Whether you understand or not, some people simply have triggers and discomforts that they cannot work around right now. I myself have a few due to mental health issues and trauma; therapy is not something you can put a timer on, and not everyone gets the privilege of getting help. A lot of people, especially kids, seek comfort online when this is the case. It isn't the safest, but it's all some people have, especially in the age of COVID. If someone wants to have a list, why does it matter?

Yes, everybody has the privilege of help. If you have access to the internet (which you do ofc since you're on CS), you have access to hundreds of free or cheap resources to help you manage your mental health. There are toll-free hotlines where you can call in anonymously, cheap or free therapists, charity organizations, even school counselors, teachers, advisors, etc. who always want to help you. Somebody around you is willing to listen. Everybody has help available to them if they reach out. If you can reach out on CS, you can reach out elsewhere too. Please consider these things. CS and other social media are not the best places to go for emotional comfort. Please do not believe that you can only get help if you can afford the time and money. There's always a lifeline no matter how hopeless it may seem.

some people need more than online resourcez to get help. yez, cs is a safe space for many of uz, but for profezzional help, there iznt much we can find on here. lotz of the 'profezzional help' are scamz or dont work, honeztly, from my attemptz at leazt. hotlinez arent amazing either, they juzt azk for your personal info and then try to connect u with someone nearby, but again, not everyone can be in contact with someone up-cloze. alzo, time iz a big thing for a lot of uz. some of uz r so buzy that itz get home, finizh up leftover work, then sleep, wake up, go to work/school, repeat. we dont have time to be rezearching what things work and what doeznt, and we cant juzt do everything the internet tellz uz, becauze half that stuff iznt even safe; therez so many liez about 'helpful' thingz such az mealz and excercizes but really they might juzt make thingz worse for uz due to faked rezearch n stuff.

sorry if i went off topic i got rlly confuzed mid paragraph and im still trying to find out what i waz originally typing auuuh

[Mewfles]

some people need more than online resourcez to get help. yez, cs is a safe space for many of uz, but for profezzional help, there iznt much we can find on here. lotz of the 'profezzional help' are scamz or dont work, honeztly, from my attemptz at leazt. hotlinez arent amazing either, they juzt azk for your personal info and then try to connect u with someone nearby, but again, not everyone can be in contact with someone up-cloze. alzo, time iz a big thing for a lot of uz. some of uz r so buzy that itz get home, finizh up leftover work, then sleep, wake up, go to work/school, repeat. we dont have time to be rezearching what things work and what doeznt, and we cant juzt do everything the internet tellz uz, becauze half that stuff iznt even safe; therez so many liez about 'helpful' thingz such az mealz and excercizes but really they might juzt make thingz worse for uz due to faked rezearch n stuff.

sorry if i went off topic i got rlly confuzed mid paragraph and im still trying to find out what i waz originally typing auuuh

It's true a lot of stuff isnt the best but it's always good to take time to research, I think if you are here on CS but should be looking to get help for yourself then you can easily take the time away from games like this and sites like this to focus on trying to help yourself with whatever issues you have. I understand it's a bit step forward to take and scary but it's really important people try to help themselves and not look to a random website to give them that comfort ^^
* wanted to edit that I mean no harm or disrespect to others with this! Just please make sure you are keeping yourself safe on the internet, and be careful about the information you put out there!
edited out the part that unintentionally sounded rude ^^

[Jijing]

Whether you understand or not, some people simply have triggers and discomforts that they cannot work around right now. I myself have a few due to mental health issues and trauma; therapy is not something you can put a timer on, and not everyone gets the privilege of getting help. A lot of people, especially kids, seek comfort online when this is the case. It isn't the safest, but it's all some people have, especially in the age of COVID. If someone wants to have a list, why does it matter?

Yes, everybody has the privilege of help. If you have access to the internet (which you do ofc since you're on CS), you have access to hundreds of free or cheap resources to help you manage your mental health. There are toll-free hotlines where you can call in anonymously, cheap or free therapists, charity organizations, even school counselors, teachers, advisors, etc. who always want to help you. Somebody around you is willing to listen. Everybody has help available to them if they reach out. If you can reach out on CS, you can reach out elsewhere too. Please consider these things. CS and other social media are not the best places to go for emotional comfort. Please do not believe that you can only get help if you can afford the time and money. There's always a lifeline no matter how hopeless it may seem.

some people need more than online resourcez to get help. yez, cs is a safe space for many of uz, but for profezzional help, there iznt much we can find on here. lotz of the 'profezzional help' are scamz or dont work, honeztly, from my attemptz at leazt. hotlinez arent amazing either, they juzt azk for your personal info and then try to connect u with someone nearby, but again, not everyone can be in contact with someone up-cloze. alzo, time iz a big thing for a lot of uz. some of uz r so buzy that itz get home, finizh up leftover work, then sleep, wake up, go to work/school, repeat. we dont have time to be rezearching what things work and what doeznt, and we cant juzt do everything the internet tellz uz, becauze half that stuff iznt even safe; therez so many liez about 'helpful' thingz such az mealz and excercizes but really they might juzt make thingz worse for uz due to faked rezearch n stuff.

sorry if i went off topic i got rlly confuzed mid paragraph and im still trying to find out what i waz originally typing auuuh

No, they're not all scams. I listed plenty of resources. There are professionals who can help you on the internet and telephone. You have a privilege that not everybody your age does which is the internet. CS is not a therapist, but there are always avenues to help somebody. I will say again, you cannot expect everybody's profile to be your safe space. You do have time to research help if you have time to play CS.

[low tide]

i don't have a stake in the current convo right now, just wanted to point out everyone that this thread is for discussing the new DNI list ban and probably not for debating on the best methods on seeking mental health assistance.

[Mouse 13]

i don't have a stake in the current convo right now, just wanted to point out everyone that this thread is for discussing the new DNI list ban and probably not for debating on the best methods on seeking mental health assistance.

It's only being brought up because the main and pretty much only argument against this new rule is "but my mental health!"

Edit: ChickenSmoothie and the users of ChickenSmoothie are not responsible for other people's mental health :') why does this have to be said

[low tide]

i don't have a stake in the current convo right now, just wanted to point out everyone that this thread is for discussing the new DNI list ban and probably not for debating on the best methods on seeking mental health assistance.

It's only being brought up because the main and pretty much only argument against this new rule is "but my mental health!"

Edit: ChickenSmoothie and the users of ChickenSmoothie are not responsible for other people's mental health :') why does this have to be said

i am aware why it is being brought up, i've quietly been reading this thread the whole time, and i'm only bringing this up because the conversation is starting to go into a topic that is only tangentially related to the topic of the thread.

i don't know what the purpose of your passive-aggressive edit is, if it's directed at me, i never said i disagreed with your points (or anyone else's for that matter).

[Horologium]

although i do have a question: do BYIs count in the ban, considering that they tend to go hand-in-hand with DNI lists? i admittedly have one myself but i made it with the intention of just listing some things about myself and the person can choose to interact with me based on what's in the BYI.

What's a BYI?

[Light Bringer]

although i do have a question: do BYIs count in the ban, considering that they tend to go hand-in-hand with DNI lists? i admittedly have one myself but i made it with the intention of just listing some things about myself and the person can choose to interact with me based on what's in the BYI.

What's a BYI?

It stands for Before You Interact. It's like a DNI but one that is more like guidelines of what to do before interacting with someone.