🌠 H: Rares+, Items & More, W: Last Possible Dreamies!

[RudolphRat]

(sawing noises) (drill noises) (hammering noises) (wrenching noises) (funky ascending then descending guitar riff) Nothing ever (ever) happens in this town, feeling low down (down) not a lot to do around here, I thought that I would go right out of my mind until a friend told me THE NEWS. He said "(hey!) You know that vacant lot? Right beside the gas station? Well, somebody bought it and on the spot they're gonna build a shop where we can go buy bolts, AND SCREWS." Since then I've been walking on air (air), I can barely brush my teeth or comb my hair 'cause I'm so excited and I really don't care, I've been waiting since LAST JUNE for this day to finally arrive, I'm so happy (happy) now just to be alive 'cause any minute now I'm gonna be inside, well, I hope they oPEN SOON. I can't wait, no, I can't wait (oh when) When are they gonna open up that door? I'm goin' (yes I'm goin) I'mma goin' to the (hard) We're really goin' to the (really gonna) (hard) (going to the) goin' to the goin' to the, (hard) oh yes (hard) I'm goin' (TO) to the HARDWARE STOOOORE! (sawing noises) (drill noises) (hammering noises) (wrenching noises) (funky ascending guitar riff) (frenetic lead guitar) In my sleeping bag I camped out overnight right in front of the store, then as soon as it was light out I pressed my nose right up against the glass - you know I had to be first IN LINE. Gonna get me a flashlight and a broom, want a pair of pliers for every single room of my house, see those hacksaws? Very, very soon, one of them will be ALL MINE. Guys with nametags walking down the aisles, rows of garden hoses that go on for miles and miles, brand new socket wrenches in a plethora of styles, all arranged alphaBETICALLY. And they're doing a promotional stunt, there's a great big purple sign out front that says every 27th customer will get a ball peen HAMMER FREE! I can't wait, no, I can't wait (oh when) When are they gonna open up that door? I'm goin' (yes I'm goin) I'mma goin' to the (hard) We're really goin' to the (really gonna) (hard) (going to the) goin' to the goin' to the, (hard) oh yes (hard) I'm goin' (HARD) to the HARDWARE STOOOORE! I'm goin' (yes I'm goin) I'mma goin' to the (hard) We're really goin' to the (really gonna) (hard) (going to the) goin' to the goin' to the, (hard) oh yes (hard) I'm goin' (HARD) to the HARDWARE STOOOORE! (short instrumental interlude) (passionate sigh) Would you look at all that stuff... They've got Allen wrenches gerbil feeders toilet seats electric heaters trash compactors juice extractors shower rods and water meters walkie-talkies copper wires safety goggles radial tires BB pellets rubber mallets fans and dehumidifiers picture hangers paper cutters waffle irons window shutters paint removers window louvres masking tape and plastic gutters kitchen faucets folding tables weather stripping jumper cables hooks and tackle grout and spackle power foggers spoons and ladles pesticides for fumigation high-performance lubrication metal roofing water proofing multi-purpose insulation air compressors brass connectors wrecking chisels smoke detectors tire gauges hamster cages thermostats and bug deflectors trailer hitch demagnetizers automatic circumcisers tennis rackets angle brackets Duracells and Energizers soffit panels circuit breakers vacuum cleaners coffee makers calculators generators matching salt and pepper shakers. I can't wait, no, I can't wait (oh when) When are they gonna open up that door? (really gonna) (hard) (going to the) goin' to the goin' to the, (hard) oh yes (hard) I'm goin' (HARD) to the HARDWARE STOOOORE! I'm goin' (yes I'm goin) I'mma goin' to the (hard) We're really goin' to the (really gonna) (hard) (going to the) goin' to the goin' to the, (hard) oh yes (hard) I'm goin' (HARD) to the HARDWARE STOOOORE! (angelic chorus) (really gonna) (hard) (going to the) goin' to the goin' to the, (hard) oh yes (hard) I'm goin' (HARD) to the HAAAAARDWARE STOOOOOOOORE (sawing noises) (drill noises) (hammering noises) (wrenching noises) (funky ascending guitar riff) (even more frenetic lead guitar)

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[RudolphRat]

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[RudolphRat]

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[RudolphRat]

People say "Oh, you have autism? Does that mean you take everything literally?"

And I say "No, that's kleptomania"

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[RudolphRat]

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[RudolphRat]

I was up all night wondering where the sun went, but then it dawned on me.
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[RudolphRat]

Why are pine trees bad at knitting? They're always dropping their needles
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[RudolphRat]

Giving sheep testosterone shouldn't be done impulsively. You have to consider the ramifications.
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[RudolphRat]

I always used to get small shocks when touching metal objects, but it recently stopped. Needless to say, I’m ex-static.
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[RudolphRat]

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