[sweathie]

posting this in human/humanoid because mods are gonna move it here anyways even though i wanna keep it in pages or somewhere people won't see it lol

i've been relapsing into depression recently which really really sucks. i found out about two years ago that the root of my depression was not forming relationships with people (especially in real life) and once i found that out i really was able to come out of my shell and get closer to a lot of people and just be a lot happier. i was gonna go to prom this year and party which is something i had never even wanted to do before but i was EXCITED. my prom tickets and tux rental and all was my birthday gift.
but now with quarantine i have just been getting more and more depressed and i think it's because i realized, back then, how toxic my relationships with people online were because i was in a bad community with people who didn't care about me. and now i'm just really paranoid and generally disconnected from interacting with people online, even people i know irl. so it's like i'm watching all of the relationships i formed disintegrate and i can't interact with people in person because of everything.
and i haven't really been caring about my art lately either. i've been sleeping all day from 5am to 9pm and only getting up to eat. i don't draw because i don't feel connected to anything anymore and i've always been an extrinsically motivated person on top of that. i wish i could go back to the time where i was pushing out weekly videos and making content non-stop instead of the way i am now, but that was so damaging to my mental health so i'm stuck between a rock and a hard place and i don't have anyone i can talk to. well i do but i mean. i need to talk to people face to face

anyways that's just me unloading. thanks if you're reading this. i'm okay and safe, just not feeling good :(

[lilpupin]

I'm so sorry that's happening to you, sweathie. That's really awful, and I wish that didn't happen to you. You're an amazing person and that only makes it worse - that bad things happen to good people. I know it won't help at all, but I hope you feel better, I hope this ends soon for you and you can feel well again. If you ever do need anyone to talk to I can be a listener if you ever want to shoot someone a PM.

[Meowdas]

I am so sorry Sweathie, really. That must be absolutely horrible. Quarantine is taking a toll on a lot of us but it hurts to see that it's worse for you. I just really really hope you feel better man. we're here for you <3