[kageyenova]

werm

also random self criticism.
i realize i have this sort of self-sabotaging tendency to take on a bunch of work while i'm facing stressful situations? it's extremely impulsive stuff, like: running a new closed species/community, opening art trades/commissions/customs, attempting a c4c - things like that, things i would have complete control over. bc i otherwise don't have much control over irl stuff i'm going through. and it's not very great??
obviously the most obvious solution is to Not Do That, and attempt those sorts of things when i actually have freetime. but it's such impulsive and 'regular' things i tend to turn to, that it's hard in the moment to realize i'm not just doing that for the sake of fun. so once things die down, i have a bunch of stuff i fail to get around to or neglect, and that just leads to disappointing a lot of people.
and it's not as if i suddenly DONT want to finish or continue what i've set up, its just once the stress is over - so is the adrenaline to keep going. i tell myself i'll get to it, and sometimes i do(especially if money is involved)! but a lot of the time i definitely don't.

so, idk. not rambling here for some diagnosis or sympathy lol. just something i'm guilty of that's been on my mind lately.
therapy is a definitive need.
if you have procrastination and communication problems: therapy. everybody should get therapy.

ok gn

[hugs100]

werm

also random self criticism.
i realize i have this sort of self-sabotaging tendency to take on a bunch of work while i'm facing stressful situations? it's extremely impulsive stuff, like: running a new closed species/community, opening art trades/commissions/customs, attempting a c4c - things like that, things i would have complete control over. bc i otherwise don't have much control over irl stuff i'm going through. and it's not very great??
obviously the most obvious solution is to Not Do That, and attempt those sorts of things when i actually have freetime. but it's such impulsive and 'regular' things i tend to turn to, that it's hard in the moment to realize i'm not just doing that for the sake of fun. so once things die down, i have a bunch of stuff i fail to get around to or neglect, and that just leads to disappointing a lot of people.
and it's not as if i suddenly DONT want to finish or continue what i've set up, its just once the stress is over - so is the adrenaline to keep going. i tell myself i'll get to it, and sometimes i do(especially if money is involved)! but a lot of the time i definitely don't.

so, idk. not rambling here for some diagnosis or sympathy lol. just something i'm guilty of that's been on my mind lately.
therapy is a definitive need.
if you have procrastination and communication problems: therapy. everybody should get therapy.

ok gn

I'm definitely not a therapist. But, I've been through a lifetime of my own issues, and here's some advice from an experienced soul: although the most ideal action to take against negative habits is to Not Do That, it's, frankly, not possible. Although negative, they are still habits, and they are very hard to stop cold turkey; especially if they've brought you comfort and satisfaction in the past. The best thing to do is stop it slowly, one at a time, and rely on those whom are willing to help you.
Not only do you have irl friends and family, but you have a whole website that is super loving and supportive. I have actually met some amazing people on here that have helped me feel less like a disappointment and failure when I don't meet my own crazy high expectations.
There are many people who love you and want to help! All you have to do is let them (expecially those irl) <3

Please, take it easy!

[Aldersnap]

shork!! also wish you well in what is troubling you <3