[♥ mizu]

[excerpt from an actual convo we had with live reaction]

actually hes giving me the ick so bad girls. i mean this in both a silly #ihatemybf way and a genuine, concerning way. we were calling last night because he texts me every night like "i can call tonight for a bit" and we end up calling for like 3 hours.

it was about 1:40 am, right, whatever. i can't tell you what i heard or thought i heard but it filled me with an instant feeling of dread and i felt my heart sink. it's so bad that i can't share it on cs and won't be sharing it with my [online] friends but i've gone to an irl friend for advice on what to do. i need to confront him about it because i truly feel like i know what i heard but maybe my brain just latched onto a certain idea and ran with it. he wanted to call today, so we did, but he was outside in public so i didn't bring it up. we conversed like normal. like i was so shocked when i heard this that i hung up about 5 minutes later and had a panic attack.

it's just frustrating talking to him because i never know if we're chatting seriously or not. i don't know how to explain this, but he's very straightforward; very flat, but he has a strong sense of dry humour and sarcasm so we could be talking and then he'll say something ridiculous (today it was "i am going to buy the canadian government" and "could you buy me a toyota? could you send me $20? why don't you speak english?").

the problem is that now he seems to want to call every day. i don't even do this w my friends guys, i hate draining my social battery. every conversation we have lasts 2+ hours and feels like a nothingburger because it's just us talking about doing things in this flat, dry humour kind of way as well as us asking the other to repeat themselves because neither can understand each other's accent. i absolutely detect that he's interested in me (combined with what happened last night, i'm certain) but i'm feeling uncertain about him right now. i think i could still like him if he provides a valid excuse/reason/explanation for what i heard last night AND fixes his attitude but i doubt he will. i guess that i enjoy his in-person company and he makes for great arm candy so that's probably what i'll keep him as for the rest of the semester. it's only a month or two anyway and i want something nice to look at.

side note i love elise's expression lolol these r always my fave posts to make. poor bb i haven't drawn her in sooo long!!!

[^RukaDog^]

No but fr my friends said I was too dry over text so I had to change the way I typed or texted bc i started like, 5 fights in gcs for it 😭😭😭😭
Also elise looks very nice in this, like she’s so prettyyyyy
Edit: omg I read this probably and like I hope this all gets better, I’m not too religious but praying for you <3333

[Melatonins]

that is so disappointing im sorry :c
kudos to you for doing the right thing, and not letting it slide though! even if it was a misunderstanding, its good youre not totally blinded by love, and hold him accountable c:

[coffee.berry]

im really worried abt wth made ur blood boil bliss, im so sorry😭😭🙏

[Kayara]

I also really enjoy my personal time, and everyone *needs* that time to themselves as well. To get things done, or just to exist, to decompress. Honestly, I feel like texting a lot can also get to be too much very quickly as far as respecting someone else's time but I digress.
This is probably a boundary you're going to need to bring up but whatever happens, in my humble opinion, your perspective is sO valid. <3

Xtra thoughts: I personally don't really enjoy phone calls even with people I love because they just feel awkward to me? like I would love hanging out with this person for hours but I don't want to be on the phone with you that long unless we're addressing something specific and it can't wait for us to be face to face. Then there are those ten-minute spaces of silence broken by nonsense. Like, what are we doing here? T-T Let's just schedule a hangout.

I have a friend who engages with me whenever I see him, but he keeps texts to a minimum. Some are for work, some are for fun but they are rarely out of the blue or time-consuming, and I so appreciate that. I know that I would like him less if he didn't do that.