[trans]

today was supposed to be really good but all i could do was think about how lonely i am and cry,,,, birthdays have rarely been fun for me but this was one of the worst and i just. today is supposed to be a happy thing it's supposed to my day everything was supposed to go Right for me but it just felt like another day; it felt even worse than a normal day. just... wake up do homework and wait for anyone to talk to me while i mindlessly goof off on the internet and think about how im one year closer to dying and im all alone and no one cares about me. ishouldnt even be upset and other people have it way worse than me i just. idont know what i expected i just hoped this year it'd be better but it wasnt and im just. i hate it i hate that im like this i wish i was never born so people didnt have to deal with me or have to put up with my crap ,,,,,

i watched the my little pony movie again with a friend at least, and the cake was good,,, but i didnt feel anything.,,, i just felt. empty. like always.

aaaaaaand now im crying again :") nnice/..