Recollection In Sugar-Coated Satin [Lumenwing #0043 Entry]

[harvestberry]

Lumenwing #0043

Vocabulary word comp! Write as much as you want about this lumenwing and include at least four of the following words:
decorum, beguile, wrest, din, poignant, ferret (verb form), impertinent, ponder,
awry, sequestered, repose, abject, affront, mutinous, virulent, clamber, salubrious

guuuh. hi i like this lumenwing if you couldn't tell. this entry is split into three sections, totaling 1453 words. about 10% of those words are saccharine’s name. that’s a lot! the closing post will contain the definitions i followed for each vocab word! i used All of them. by the way. i thiiink? i used some form of them at least. all vocab words used are underlined ^^ enjoy!

[harvestberry]

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Immortality truly is a wicked thing. Saccharine never could have anticipated that when Saccharine requested it all those moons ago - how long had it been, since then? Since Saccharine had sworn Saccharine’s loyalty to a beguiling leader named Midas, Saccharine’s good friend? Since Midas ascended to Golden Grandeur? Saccharine was there for that. Or, Saccharine thinks so. Saccharine can’t remember. What Saccharine does remember is when Saccharine’s wish was granted, on a cool Leafbare afternoon, a pitiful fire crackling away above the library hearth. It was a blessing, He had said, placing a glittery golden pawpad on Saccharine’s forehead. It was to keep Saccharine around longer, since Saccharine was so excellent at Saccharine’s job. Saccharine was proper. Saccharine had decorum. Saccharine was worth keeping around forever, with the one wish Midas could grant before Phrygia woke up and took Her power back partially. Saccharine remembered Phrygia. Saccharine remembered everything. Saccharine watched everyone around Saccharine forget about the sleeping god within the tree. Everyone except for Midas, of course, though He no longer let Saccharine, His now-distant friend, call Him that name. It was Golden Grandeur now, remember? Surely you can remember that, Saccharine? My blessing came with eternal memory, you certainly remember.

Indeed Saccharine does. Saccharine remembers the tone, the exact second, the air temperature, the way the tips of Saccharine’s wings felt in the cold. Saccharine remembers the look on His face, the nasty sneer across His typically charming expression. Saccharine remembers far too much. That moment in time was the fourth day of Moon 48, a few days after the beginning of the 4th cycle, the dead bitter midnight of Leafbare.

Saccharine doesn’t remember when Saccharine started following Midas. When Saccharine pledged Saccharine’s allegiance to Him. Saccharine doesn’t even remember what Saccharine’s name was, what Saccharine’s identity was, what Saccharine’s ambitions were before the moment Midas touched Saccharine’s forehead and bestowed upon Saccharine a new name - Saccharine’s current name, and identity, and current ambition of sorts. A single word. The oldest thing Saccharine has other than Saccharine’s body, so Saccharine has become very attached. Everything before sunhigh on the sixteenth day of Moon 35, an unusually warm start to Leafbare but cold nonetheless, has been lost. Every second from that moment on has been remembered. Every word spoken, every pawstep taken, every atypical weather condition. Saccharine doesn’t even know how old Saccharine actually is. Saccharine knows it’s at least 685 Moons. Saccharine has to be older than that, but Saccharine doesn’t know exactly how much older, and it's impossible to dig through so many memories for hints, any pointers to the truth, anything at all-

It’s easier for Saccharine to stay calm with Saccharine’s blindfold on. Blocking out Saccharine’s vision makes Saccharine remember less. It keeps Saccharine’s brain sharp. Saccharine doesn’t even know if Saccharine can still see, if the blindfold were to be off. Saccharine left Midas ages ago, tossed aside like an abject scrap of offal at His great feast of power, an affront to the promises of Saccharine’s value that had been made to Saccharine all those seasons ago. Saccharine hasn’t seen the world since then. That was the twentieth day of Moon 366, the hottest day of the cycle and, truthfully, the hottest day of Saccharine’s life. Far from the vividly-recalled bitter days when Midas still appreciated Saccharine.

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[harvestberry]

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Hiding as an immortal is perhaps harder than living as one. Saccharine tried many places to rest, but alas, suspicion arose when Saccharine never aged. Never showed any signs of aging. For the past 200 moons, at least, Saccharine has been sequestered away in The Grotto. It’s warm and dark here, so Saccharine’s eyes aren’t stung by the light filtering through Saccharine’s blindfold. This was relatively undisturbed for a long time, until about 50 moons ago, when a group of fellow lumenwings stumbled across Saccharine, dragging Saccharine along to protect Saccharine. Saccharine obliged. Saccharine outlived half of the group not looking a minute older than when they initially picked Saccharine up. It was in that group that Saccharine met the matriarch’s heir, Lokelani. Saccharine watched Lokelani succeed her mother. Lokelani watched Saccharine never change. Eventually, Saccharine reluctantly spilled the truth to Lokelani. Saccharine trusted her. Surprisingly, Saccharine was still welcome to the group. A lumenwing with memories of practically the beginning of time? Lokelani believed Saccharine. Most claimed Saccharine was starting to succumb to dementia in Saccharine’s old age.

It’s now Moon 720. Day one. Sunhigh. The beginning of the 50th cycle. Saccharine has outlived every lumenwing from that group, save for the matriarch. Saccharine watched her fall in love, have grubs, lose her lover to a battle, and gain a burning hatred for Golden Grandeur. It’s funny, Saccharine thinks; a cat Saccharine used to be so familiar with, hated by so many Saccharine is now familiar with. Public opinion changes so much over time, doesn't it? Saccharine never does.

Nor do Saccharine’s memories, but at least ferreting around in those has a purpose now. Saccharine has - starplane save Saccharine - become an advisor of sorts for The Requiters. A gang against Midas. Saccharine gives them details of His patterns, His habits, His strategies, and they execute Saccharine’s orders to perfection without fail. Every time. Every single time. It works every single time. Midas never changes either, does He? Maybe He’d appreciate Saccharine once more if Saccharine returned to Him. Maybe the day He cast Saccharine aside was just a fluke. A day gone awry. Maybe-

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[harvestberry]

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Saccharine’s pondering is shattered by a paw beating at Saccharine’s face. Saccharine flinches, face screwing up and antennae twitching, before a familiar sound hits Saccharine's ears.

“Saccharine! Saccharine! Saccharine!” The tiniest voice chirps up at Saccharine. There’s always a hauntingly familiar quality to it that Saccharine can’t quite place, but Saccharine knows this impertinent little nuisance. With a huff, Saccharine turns Saccharine’s head away and rests it back on Saccharine’s paws, heaving a sigh.

“What, Marie?” Saccharine’s voice is more virulent than Saccharine intends. Saccharine can hear what sounds like the little orphaned grub shrinking back a little, miniature paws brushing stone. Quickly, Saccharine lifts Saccharine’s head, looking right at the grub. “Wait, sorry, I didn’t-”

Saccharine’s voice ends in a yelp as Marie’s tiny body collides with Saccharine's face. Ah. The mutinous little beast had crouched down to pounce, not shrunken back. Saccharine shakes Saccharine’s head, trying to get Marie off, but the grub is clinging, claws and all. Beneath the blindfold, Saccharine’s eyes are screwed shut. That’s what Marie is clinging to - the blindfold. Saccharine stands up, uttering a firm “Marie!” under Saccharine’s breath. Something rips. The weight is wrested off of Saccharine’s face, cool air hitting Saccharine’s eyes as Saccharine stares down.

Stares down at the scrap of golden curls, brown ears and paws scrabbling as she clambers about beneath the heavy red blindfold. Shining gold and orange tones from her backplate peek through the crimson fabric, a royal pattern. And Marie looks up at Saccharine once her head is out, poignant eyes wide like the sun, and Saccharine is not looking at Marie.

Saccharine is looking at Marigoldwing, Mother of Lumenwings, daughter of Midas, except fifty moons younger - 663 moons after Marigoldwing’s untimely death. Marie stares at Saccharine with something like familiarity. They were friends, Marigoldwing and Saccharine. Whenever Saccharine’s memory got too overwhelming, Marigoldwing was always there for Saccharine. Marigoldwing was there until Phrygia lashed out and then she was gone. She was gone and her crystallized body was displayed in the library and a statue was made for her in the Arca De Manes, far south. Saccharine never got to visit either tribute. Saccharine-

The bead curtain covering the entrance to Saccharine’s den is drawn back by a very concerned matriarch, light pouring in, and Saccharine recoils with a wretched din, eyes pierced by the light. Saccharine’s blindfold is untangled from Marie for repairs. Saccharine wants to tell the matriarch to let Marie stay there, right there, that Saccharine needs to tell her something and ask her some things to see how much of a coincidence this is- but the den falls silent again before a word can be spoken. Saccharine’s den is dark. Saccharine’s den is quiet. Saccharine’s eyes are closed now, feigning repose for a bit of privacy. Saccharine doesn’t sleep, but Saccharine knows to pretend to.

Saccharine remembers every single millisecond of those few recent moments. Saccharine is reminded of every single salubrious millisecond with Marigoldwing. Saccharine, immortalized by one wish, one request, one foolish attempt to stay on good terms with Midas forever, is finding something new in Marie's absence, something foreign, or perhaps something familiar, perhaps something Saccharine could not pin a name to until now.

Grief.

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[harvestberry]

closing post to show edits! for fun, here's all of the exact definitions i used for each word, since some of the words have multiple definitions. all definitions are from merriam-webster.

decorum: [n.] propriety and good taste in conduct or appearance
beguile: [vb.] to lead by deception
wrest: [vb.] to pull, force, or move by violent wringing or twisting movements
din: [n.] a loud continued noise
poignant: [adj.] deeply affecting; touching
ferret: [vb.] to search about
impertinent: [adj.] given to or characterized by insolent rudeness
ponder: [vb.] to think or consider especially quietly, soberly, and deeply
awry: [adj.] off the correct or expected course; amiss
sequester: [vb.] seclude, withdraw
repose: [n.] a state of resting after exertion or strain
abject: [adj.] sunk to or existing in a low state or condition; very bad or severe
affront: [n.] a deliberate offense; insult
mutinous: [adj.] disposed to or being in a state of mutiny; rebellious
virulent: [adj.] objectionably harsh or strong
clamber: [vb.] to climb awkwardly or with effort especially by using both the hands and the feet
salubrious: [adj.] favorable to or promoting health or well-being