Hey, got a smoothie? | Fables #209 + #210

[Oceanfosh]

Stormserpent (209) + Oceanfosh (210)
761 words

Please do not post!


17 Ra Teka, 4896 CSC. Kiqul Neniah

Unknown individual broke into the labs at 15:04.
Individual was contained within the two hours within a lab room with a glass window. User is audible through the glass.

World is presently locked-

"Meaning an abnormality is present...." Kiqul looked up at the small, pink figure staring boredly through the glass as he wrote. "....Tell me, who are you again...?"
"Really, you don't know who I am?" They ask, their voice drawling on with disdain. "If you're that daft, why even bring me here in the first place, fool?"

Kiqul, admittedly, had not brought this strange person anywhere. He had chased them until they cornered themself in a lab, and proceeded to shut the door-- that was the end of that.

"Right." He said flatly. "How did you get here? Where is your presence? We have anti-magic barriers everywhere and our world borders are locked."
They stuck their tongue out at him. "I do whatever I want. And I assure you, my presence is waaay stronger than yours."
"...Are you a magic diffraction user?" They weren't green, like most were, but it would explain the lack of presence accompanied with the ability to break into a locked world... theoretically.
"What do you think?"

This question irked him slightly-- the answer could be the potential of a scientific breakthrough, and this.... child was treating it like some sort of joke.

"That's what I'm trying to find out. Why do you think I asked?"
"Beeecause you're a sad pathetic man who can't have opinions of his own and needs someone to validate him?"
And he was being mocked. He needed to stay calm. It was required by his job to stay calm.
"I am a scientist, we rely on fact, not opinion. Perhaps that is different where you are from." He couldn't help but throw in a small insult.
"I don't need your silly sciences, I'm a god, I make science."

Behind him a door slid open, and with it came a dark, wavering figure that was the form of a shadow cat. It was one of Kiqul's subordinates-- Kurry.
"A god?" She asked. "Kiqul, sir, you captured a god?"
"I captured a child." A very annoying one, at that.
The strange magic user rolled their eyes.
"If I'm a child, what are you, a fetus?" They laughed.
Kiqul and Kurry stared, and finally the latter said,
"I see...."
"Good." The pink individual went on. "I'm glad you understand what you're dealing with here. Say, you have any cake? I could go for a strawberry creme cake, add the macarons- oh! And a vanilla latte with three pumps of strawberry syrup."

Kiqul is slowly reaching his limit.

"We are a research lab, not a restaurant." He glared. "We work in the name of science, to learn what we can about magic. That is far superior to your hunger."
He passes Kurry the notebook.
"Write anything relevant down."
"Yes, sir."

"Fine fine, so prissy," they said, listening. "I could eat some magic if that's all you got. What a dump. I'm leaving you a bad review on Yelp."
Kiqul had no idea what Yelp was and didn't really care.
"You can eat magic?"
"Um, I thought I told you. I can do whatever I want." They rolled their eyes.

Kiqul swipes the notebook back from Kurry.
"Fetch a sample."
"Sir.... This could be a waste--"
"Did I ask?"
"No sir... I'll be back."

Once she was gone, Kiqul said,

"I need to know how you broke into the lab. Tell me." Irritation had crept into his tone.
"Need is an awful strong word," they said. "Gonna get in trouble with the big boss if you fail? I bet he'd have the power to get me something good to eat."
"We do not keep food in the labs!!!"
"Maybe I could eat his magic..."
Finally, it hit Kiqul.
"....Magic theft." He thought about that, noting the term down in his notebook, and beginning to walk away. "We can't be allowing that."
"Right," they say, stepping straight through the glass to follow Kiqul. "Because I care what you allow."
Kiqul stops, turns, and stares.
"....HOW-"
"You keep asking that. Isn't it your job to figure these things out? Maaan you suck at your job."
"Stay away...." he growls, taking a few steps back and raising his type I shadow magic to protect himself.
"FINALLY, I knew you'd come around, just put that sweet sweet magic riiight here." They grin, raising an empty glass.
"STAY AWAY-"

Kurry walks in.