✧.* exiled -- stars #3000

[Kazin]

tryout for stars #3000

✧.* table of contents ✧.*

✧ chapter 1 -- the exile

✧ chapter 2 -- redemption

✧ chapter 3 -- a home

[Kazin]

✧ the exile

The mountains are an unforgiving place.
Anyone will tell you that, and if they disagree - well, they're wrong.
The mountains don't care about you, they don't care about me, and that won't ever change.

_________________________________________________________________

The season of leaf-bare was unusually mild this time around. The snow that would typically cover the entire mountain with the blinding fury of cold was joyously absent, in its place a dense fog that drifted lazily over the treetops and down into the pine covered forests that rested on the side of the mountain. This was the home he was born into - a home of fog, used to having damp fur from the dew and constant drizzle that found it's way into the territory in place of the snow. Many in the area joked that they were secretly feathered rather than furred, the rainwater and the mist seemingly ignored by most.

A bout of warmer weather welcomed the arrival of a bundle of three kits, a large litter for leaf-bare, and a welcome sight for the cat who lived on the mountain, usually in solitude. The first thing that the young cat can remember, was the gentle sound of his mother calling his name.

Tempest.

_________________________________________________________________

"Come on," the voice ahead of him sounded with a whine, making Tempest roll his eyes as he plodded along slowly. "I want to go faster!"

The kit watched carefully as his sister turned back, a playful gleam in her eyes, bouncing towards him and gently swiping her paw at his tall ear. Tempest batted a paw back, grinning, flicking his tail to let his sister know he was ready to give chase. "Finally!" She squealed, turning tail and scampering across the rocks as fast as her paws could carry her... which, at least to Tempest, was not fast at all.

It was easy to keep pace with her, his paws always having been bigger than hers. Still, Tempest didn't pass her, knowing that she liked to prove she could be just as strong and fast as he could. Cyclone was a whirlwind of energy, and Tempest seemed to be the only one willing to keep up with her. Storm was always lazing back at the camp with their mother, leaving Tempest and Cyclone to do whatever they wanted, to explore the mountainside with each other rather than with their littermate or mother. Neither really minded, their bond growing stronger with each passing day.

It was with Cyclone that Tempest felt the most at peace, the most welcomed, and the most comfortable. What he couldn't say in words, he knew Cyclone understood him. She never had to look at him like he was an outsider, and he never had to feel like he was different. Tempest adored the time they spent in the mountains, just the two of them, the world theirs and theirs alone.

"Hey, daydreamer," Cyclone's voice chimed into Tempest's thoughts, breaking him out of his stupor. He sheepishly grinned at her, flicking his ears in a question. Are we at that spot you wanted to show me?

Cyclone's eyes brightened, and the she-cat nodded, nudging her brother up the rocks a few more pawsteps. "We are here! Look! Over there!" Tempest followed her gaze and felt the breath in his chest disappear; awe, fear, and wonder all filled him at the same time, and he could do nothing but stand and blink for a few moments before being able to truly comprehend what he was looking at.

Cyclone watched patiently as Tempest took in the sight below them. The end of the world? He thought to himself, casting an inquisitive look over to Cyclone to ask the question in his mind. His sister shrugged, continuing her own watchful gaze at the scene below them.

_________________________________________________________________

Cyclone and Tempest continued their daily excursions to see what they both now considered the edge of the world, ending each of their days with the trip up the rocks to look at the vast expanse that lie beneath them. Sometimes, it would give Tempest a feeling of extreme vertigo, so much so that he would back up a few paces, forgetting for a split second that he was safe, and that he wasn't falling into the abyss-like edge. As they each grew bigger, stronger, and gained more stamina, it was eventually Cyclone that suggested they try to see if the abyss was truly the end of the world after all.

Are you crazy? Tempest looked at his sister in alarm on the evening that she suggested it, bolting upright in their shared den with Storm and their mother, heart rate pulsing in his ears. Cyclone blinked at him, smiling mischievously, and nodded. "We should go tomorrow." Tempest stared into her eyes for a long while, trying to see if she was actually being serious, before his curiosity got the better of him. He rested his tail on Cyclone's head, and gave her a firm nod. Ok, let's do it. "At first light then?"

Yes.

_________________________________________________________________

If Tempest were to remember the day for anything other than tragedy, he could tell others about the jokes he and Cyclone shared, of the new birds they saw, of the sights that had seemed to small from the top of the mountain suddenly making them feel like the small ones. He would recall the way the blue sky seemed to speak nothing of the day to come, the sunrise giving way to a cloudless, beautiful Newleaf day. He would tell someone about the joy he felt at being beside his sister.

But none of those positive feelings remained.

All Tempest remembers is despair. The void the pair of siblings had been seeing from the top of the mountain was a dark, cold lake, surrounded by trees, making it a secluded area. Cyclone had stepped closer to the water without thinking, the slippery rocks caused her to fall in.

All Tempest remember is losing Cyclone to the ice cold waters, still with ice on the edges from the chilly Leafbare temperatures. She had slipped in, and there was nothing Tempest could do to save her, his soundless howl of despair unable to call for help.

_________________________________________________________________

"You lost her." The words were dull, and Tempest flinched, unable to meet his mother's eyes. He made no other movement, Storm making a low whimer beside their mother.

"I knew I should have never trusted her with you." The words were a growl now.

"Leave. I never want to see you again."

[Kazin]

✧ redemption

Sometimes, to heal,
you need to forgive yourself first.

_________________________________________________________________

Life was darkness. It was pain, gripping his heart so hard that there were times all Tempest could do was stop and close his eyes, trying to block and clear his mind from anything that had happened. At first, the pain was so harsh that he tried to forget that he had a sister at all. Still, flashes of her smile kept appearing in his mind, a fresh wave of pain washing over him with every blink, every peek at her pelt.

Tempest wandered down the mountain, back to the lake where he lost her, and found himself making a home by the lake. He would wistfully stare up to the top of the mountain, wondering what his mother and Storm were doing, if they remembered his existence, or if they were trying to forget him and the pain he brought just like he was trying to forget Cyclone and the pain he felt.

Was it my fault? He asked himself, squeezing his eyes shut. As Newleaf turned into Greenleaf, the lake now a warm temperature that seemed to try to invite him in. He avoided the waters at all cost, refusing to even attempt to grab at the fat fish that he saw lurking beneath the surface of the water. Still, though the pain never lessened, time made it easier for Tempest to live his own life - and he created his own routine, something that gave him peace, at least a little.

He made a den underneath one of the largest trees, sheltered from the wind by a large rock that the tree was slightly leaning against. It gave him protection from the storms that blew over the mountain too, and he found himself huddling down in his nest most days, staring at the lake, willing Cyclone to emerge from the last place he saw her. Though the seasons changed, it seemed like the spot that Cyclone was last seen never did. The lake remained an endless abyss, the evergreen trees never losing their needles. Tempest vowed to spend the rest of his life here as repayment for not saving his sister, and there he stayed...

_________________________________________________________________

The cloud blocked the stars this night.

Tempest usually liked to watch the stars on sleepless nights - which came often for him - and liked to imagine that Cyclone was watching him. He would sign for her sometimes, drawing patterns in the air with his tail, imagining that he was telling her a story. Sometimes, he imagined that her glowing eyes were watching him from the shadows, and he would smile, continuing his stories with energy that he hadn't felt since her death.

Feeling a little more lonely than usual, Tempest had been sitting in his den since the sun had set, willing the stars to come out or for sleep to come, but neither seemed to want to agree to his pleas. Taking in a deep breath, Tempest sighed, giving a flick of his tail and ear that he would often give Cyclone; I can't sleep, want to talk?

The young cat closed his eyes, continuing to sign about his days, getting lost in the idea that Cyclone was beside him. It made it easier to bear, imagining she was here with him. So lost in his daydream, Tempest didn't realize he wasn't alone until a splash sounded nearby, coming from nearly the same spot that Cyclone had last been seen.

Tempest immediately jumped to his feet, eyes gazing around wildly for what the sound was. For a moment he was trapped, looking over at a small kit who was now yowling as they bobbed up and down in the water. Tempest felt his paws move before his brain could tell himself not to, everything in him screaming danger.

Throwing himself into the water without letting his fear take over, Tempest let his body instincts take over as he paddled and grabbed the scruff of the kit, glad that the kit seemed so small. Just as he was scrambling up the side of the lake with the kit in his mouth, he heard another voice echoing across the lake towards him.

"Ember! Where did you go? Ember!" A frazzled looking tortoiseshell came into his field of vision, her eyes wild and her fur puffed. The kit made a feeble mew in response, and the tortoiseshell gasped, sprinting over to the rock as Tempest gently placed the kit on the ground.

"My kit! Oh, what happened?" She asked, frantically licking Ember and glancing over at Tempest for an explanation that never came. The tom backed away, shaking his head nervously, knowing that she wouldn't understand. He couldn't tell her even if he wanted to. "Please, don't go," she said, gentler this time, the panic from her voice reducing now as she was sure Ember was ok, the young kit now blinking with admiration at Tempest.

Tempest again shook his head, flicking his ear over at the she-cat. He sat back on his haunches, pointing at his muzzle with a paw. I can't speak.

Blinking over at him, the cat seemed to take a few seconds to realize. "Oh, you can't talk?" Tempest shook his head, hanging it low. "That's ok," she said, even gentler still. Tempest squeezed his eyes shut at the expression of kindness, not feeling welcomed for quite some time. She stepped close to Tempest, licking his shoulder in appreciation. "You are a hero that I won't ever forget, and I don't think Ember will either. Thank you."

_________________________________________________________________

A hero.

Tempest tested the word with reluctance, having believed he would only cause pain and destruction wherever he went. It had been several days since he had saved Ember from the same fate that took Cyclone, and Tempest had allowed himself to heal, if even a little. As Leaf-fall came and the temperatures started dropping again, Tempest felt his chest loosen, his pain never quite gone, but it became easier to deal with.

The energy started to come back, and he began believing he could live a good life, even if it was a solitary one. Cyclone would be with him always, and so would the thought of the cat he saved.

He felt that he had redeemed himself, and for now, that was enough.

[Kazin]

✧ a home

I still go back there sometimes,
it makes me feel like I'm with you.

_________________________________________________________________

After I saved Ember, I knew I couldn't spend my days regretting what had happened in the past. There were other cats that needed me, and I could save others and be their voice, even if I didn't have my own.

Cyclone and I used to think that the lake was the edge of the world. We used to believe that looking down our mountain, seeing only the darkness of the lake and the impassable mountains in the distance, that our mountain was the only one. What I would tell you, Cyclone, if I could see you now - we were so wrong.

The world is huge. There is so much to explore, and there is so much to see. I still sleep each night with the thought of you and our adventures, knowing that if you were by my side you would love the world as much as I do. Together we would have explored everything, we would have gone everywhere, and we would have never looked back.

As it is, I do look back for you, Cyclone. I still dream that you're here beside me, that you are going to dash out from behind the trees in front of me and scare me like when we were kits. I still think that I can see your pelt, so unlike mine, blending into the daylight rather than the twilight, in the streams of sun that filter through the tree branches.

I still miss you. I don't think the feeling will ever go away, but it gives me a piece of you to hold on to. Something I won't ever let go.

_________________________________________________________________

I traveled for a while, searching the base of the mountains, searching through the forests, searching the other nearby lakes that looked so much like our lake. I made sure others were safe, no matter where I went. I found so many cats like you, Cyclone - understanding cats, ones that knew that even though I was different from them, I was still worthy of love and adventure and appreciation. I've told our story, Cyclone, wherever we go. I want to make sure others are aware how important it is to be aware of your surroundings, to make sure you tell others where you're going, how to be safe.

But I still miss you.

I won't ever forget you.

I love you, my dear sister.

_________________________________________________________________

I think I found a home.

If you could see this forest, if you could meet these cats... I think you'd agree. They were quick to offer me a place to rest, even though I told them I was just passing through. They laughed with me, they listened to my story. They listened to your story, too.

And they offered me a home.

It's near enough to our lake that I will still visit at every opportunity, I promise you that. I'm happy now, Cyclone, and I hope that when we meet again you have been too.

Nothing will fill the void of your absence, but I've found a family that loves me like you did. I found a family willing to listen to me, like you did. We are all worthy of love.

Thank you for teaching me that.