Username: Broccoli_Bento
Name: Cassiel (kas-see-ehl)
Gender: male
Name: Cassiel (kas-see-ehl)
Gender: male
My name is Cassiel.
- I was born under the waxing crescent moon phase, which in my town is said to bring much joy and happiness to the family of the one born under it's light, and so I have, but only because I obeyed every order I was given.
I grew up in a rural town of Greek and Asian style, and with that came the values of respect, honor, loyalty, and intelligence.
Everywhere you look there is something beautiful, from the streets to the architecture, to landscapes and greenery all around.
Narrow roads to accommodate more homes and shops, and out further from the main part of town are where the large houses belonging to higher ranking families.
I belonged to one of them, and life was pretty strict in my home.
You kept silent, and to always be on your utmost best behavior, especially around elders and the higher ranking families.
Everything in my life was decided upon for me by my parents and elders.
I couldn't leave our town unless I was sent, I couldn't see anyone that my parents did not approve of, and I was required to practice the erhu for hours and preform every week for my family, and then every month for the town.
My only friend was my cousin Adriel, and I wasn't even permitted to see him as his mother was disowned after she married a common folk.
We didn't even meet until my sixth town performance, as he was also preforming the same night.
His family had to live on the other end of town, and Adriel had to sneak onto my family property in order to see me if I didn't run into him in town.
He moved away four years ago to follow his dreams, dreams I wasn't allowed to have.
That same year that he left for good I was arranged to be married to someone a just met.
This was completely normal for all the highest ranking families to have arranged marriages, and I was surprised that I didn't hear this news until then, as apparently it was arranged since she was born.
She was pure white with long sleek fur, with a white lotus shine adorning her tail.
She was beautiful no doubt, but I did not want that fate.
It was a wake-up call for me to realize that I'd be just like my parents if I went on with marrying that girl, so I waited three months before before I announced my departure.
It was then after many heated arguments that I was publicly disowned and dishonored when they cut my hair in front of hundreds in the the town square, signifying that I no longer have a place in that town.
A bit extreme, but it is a very old and traditional rural town, and it hurt knowing that I couldn't leave on my own will, that I had to be thrown away in order to have freedom.
- The first year on my own was the hardest.
I had just moved to a city, with little to no belongings and money, and with no clue how different the world truly was.
I couldn't sleep most nights from all the noise the city brought, and I hated working at McDonald's everyday day for six months, but it kept me off the streets.
After that first year I got a job as a secretary at a very upscale business, and quickly climbed the latter onto different jobs within the business, granting me a nice position two years later.
And that's where I am now.
I've got a nice job and nice apartment, with work as my life.
I've been so devoted to work that I never thought about what I actually wanted to do in life, or really who I was than an office workaholic.
I couldn't have asked for anything else... yet I still felt my heart reaching out for something, but what?
I had hobbies... well I had work, and my erhu.
I managed to stay in contact with my cousin, so I felt good on the friend department as I only really needed one, at least that's what I thought.
It was late September, and the air hadn't gotten cold yet, so when the weekend rolled in I decided that going for a walk around town could help me clear my head about the feeling of something missing in my life.
I passed by a family having a picnic in the park, they seemed happy.
I wandered into an antique store, but didn't buy anything.
Then I found myself next to what looked like a pop-up arcade.
As I peered into the window, the entrance doors burst open, startling me, and this girl came out carrying a giant light green squid plush over her head.
What really caught my attention was her smile, it was the most cheerful smile I didn't think existed.
She was just beeming with excitement as she skipped to her 2005 convertible aquarius blue volkswagen beetle, before cramming the squid into its trunk.
I watched as she pulled away, still grinning from ear to ear, but as she drove out of sight I felt my heart sink, as if I had just lost an opportunity of some kind.
The only question was "what?".
- For about a week that feeling had been driving me crazy, and I thought that maybe it was reminding me of all the opportunities I lost being stuck in my family's home, but it wasn't... I didn't even acknowledge the thought that maybe I was feeling lonely, and that I wanted to share the simplest of joys with someone.
Just thinking of her smile had reminded me that I had never smiled half or even a third as big as she did in my whole life.
So how could I find actually joy in something?
I've enjoyed my work and taking a walk around the city every now and again, but what could give me the type of pure joy that resembles that of a child?
It was then I decided to leave home on Friday and visit the beach for the weekend.
I was hoping that if I watched others enjoy activities, then maybe I could learn from them, but what I didn't expect was to see that girl again.
On my way up to the coast it had dawned on me that I had never been to the beach in my whole life!
The whole ride went from completely casual to incredibly nervous, but once I arrived I knew that I made the right decision as I was filled with wonder as I took in the view.
After adjusting to my new surroundings I had noticed someone waving with their whole arm in my direction, it was her!
She was beaming like she was before, with a sand spade and pale in hand as she waved to her companions behind me who hadn't quite caught up to her yet.
I didn't know this until after I awkwardly waved back at her, and then became embarrassed when I realized she wasn't waving at me, and why would she, we never met.
I sat in the sand and watched from afar of her group build a sand castles.
You could see the happiness in her eyes as she found little shell peices to use as decorations, and made flags out leaves with sticks poked through them.
I after observing the activity I went closer to the water to attempt my own construction of a sand castle, but I failed.
Second try, failed...
Sixth try, stood for five seconds...
Attempt fourteen? Collapsed...
It wasn't until like my twenty third try that I was startled by a cute feminine voice interrupting my concentration.
I turned to look and it was her, she had come over to give me some advice.
My heart was pounding from shock, and I just sat there staring at her over my shoulder.
She made herself comfortable across from me, and my gaze followed her as she began constructing a castle and instructing me on the basics of sand castle building.
I would nod and acknowledge her, but I didn't really say anything...
After she was done she smiled and happy sighed, placing a blue marble on her side of the castle before getting up to rejoin her friends.
Before she left she wished me luck in the future and hoped she was of help.
- I didn't know why, but I kept the marble she left behind.
Was it that inner desire we all have that sees something shiny and wants to keep it, or was it because she left it?
For all I knew was that she found it that day in the sand, yet.. the idea makes it feel a bit more special that she left a peice of her treasure with me.
After my vacation was over I still had something important to think about, "who I was in life?", but I found myself wondering more who that girl was she was than myself.
A stranger's identity tugged at my curiosity more than something important like self discovery, but why is that?
Was it her smile? Her kindness or quirky attitude? Or perhaps I was just drawn to someone's joy rather than to the person experiencing it.
Well, a month went on by and I almost forgot about everything that involved the beach and of her, all because I got swept up in work, again...
It was my lunch break, and I decided to walk to the Starbucks just around the block from my building.
After entering the coffee aroma filled building I got in line, but forgot that it was long, as they had just released a new drink, so everyone had to get their paws on it.
I just wanted a simple matcha green tea latte and be on my way, but after internally griping about the line I noticed her again!
She was five people ahead of me. Bundled up in a puffy coat, knit cap, scarf, and mittens that hung from her wrist when she wasn't wearing them.
She was in line waiting to get a caffè mocha and a muffin, her favorite, a blueberry crumble muffin.
- I didn't know what to do, I felt my heart pound, what was this feeling inside me?
It was like my heart wanted me to go say something to her, but I remained in my position in line, making that feeling only grow.
As the line grew smaller, I became more nervous.
When it was her turn she had to wait at the counter for them to get her muffin, so the line kept moving.
With each step forward I took I listened to every named being called out for orders, hoping it was hers.
"Stacy?", "Astrid?", "Gloria?", "Dave..."
When I heard "Jamie" I saw her perk up.
I was then side by side with her, and just as I opened my mouth to speak, the barista handed her her order, and like that she was gone.
I looked at my watch out of habit of worrying about missing something important, like when I'm late for a meeting, or when my bus takes longer then usually when I'm in a hurry.
I then made my order, and I received it rather quickly, probably because it was simple.
I hurried out the doors and was torn between instinctively heading back to work and looking for her, but she was long gone so I headed back.
I walked down the street and found myself at a crosswalk as traffic was moving.
I sipped my drink and looked over to my right, just about spitting it out, as "Jamie" was standing right next to me, watching the cars pass by as she waited to see the walking white stick figure to show up on the electronic sign.
I without thinking just said the first thing that came to my mind, "W-whatcha drinkin?"
At first she looked at me like "what the?" and "who the heck are you?", but then she relaxed and told me about her drink and asked about mine.
We stood there waiting for the long traffic light to turn red for us to cross, but I'm glad it was stupidly long, otherwise I wouldn't know that there's a basketball court inside the Matterhorn Bobsled at Disneyland, amongst other facts she shared.
We now go out for coffee every week as growing friends.
I've learned so much about her, like how she accidentally burned down her roommate's house, and how much she loves to play video games.
I now know the simple joys of sharing a moment with someone, and how a random girl can make this serious soul turn into a shy and nervous fool on the inside when she smiles.
I've never met anyone so joyful and carefree.
She's always smiling and saying the oddest of things.
My heart still gets crazy when I'm around her, but I won't acknowledge the real reason for the feeling in my heart until Christmas, and then I won't ask her out until June after my new friends convince me to.
From then we'll date for a few years before getting engaged, with a ring bearing her birthstone atop its surface.
The wedding will be what she always dreamed of, and then we'll start a family before growing old together, slow dancing in the living room as our song plays on the radio.
