𝙃𝘼𝙑𝙀 𝙔𝙊𝙐 𝙀𝙑𝙀𝙍 𝙃𝙀𝘼𝙍𝘿? || 𝗘𝗥𝗥𝗣 𝟱𝟬𝟬

[yeena]

𝗨𝗦𝗘𝗥𝗡𝗔𝗠𝗘: 𝗖𝗘𝗔𝗡𝗖𝗘....𝗡𝗔𝗠𝗘: 𝗟𝗘𝗚𝗘𝗡𝗗 𝗛𝗔𝗦 𝗜𝗧.."𝗦𝗛𝗘𝗟𝗗𝗥𝗔𝗞𝗘"....𝗔𝗚𝗘: 𝗧𝗛𝗥𝗘𝗘....𝗛𝗘𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧: 𝟭𝟲.𝟮 𝗛𝗛....𝗗𝗜𝗦𝗖𝗜𝗣𝗟𝗜𝗡𝗘: 𝗠𝗢𝗨𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗗 𝗣𝗢𝗟𝗜𝗖𝗘 𝗛𝗢𝗥𝗦𝗘

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────── (𝗚𝗥𝗢𝗪𝗦 𝗢𝗡 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗡𝗢𝗥𝗧𝗛 𝗦𝗜𝗗𝗘 𝗢𝗙 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗧𝗥𝗘𝗘𝗦) ────────────────────
Forgiveness was never easy to give, but it led to a peace of mind in the end. Sheldrake was typically a forgiving stallion already. He hated to cause conflicts and much rather thought that forgiveness would make relationships less strained, so he was extremely forgiving and valued forgiveness in other relationships as well. Obviously, Sheldrake didn't genuinely value forgiveness in these situations, regardless of what he thought. Realistically, he valued a smooth relationship and being able to get along with the other stallions around him, which led him to be more forgiving because it would make wishes like this easier to achieve in his mind.

Through one of the hardest times of his life, Sheldrake figured out the true value he held for forgiveness and how forgiveness really worked. For sake of simplicity though, Sheldrake's biggest value and motivator in life is forgiveness. He sees forgiveness as a way of closure and moving on and accepting what has happened. He values forgiveness above all else when it comes to the closure of things and wholly believes that it is the best way to cut things off or end something and move on peacefully from there. It's just best to note that forgiveness is a choice based on how the wronged wants to react and it's not required.
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[yeena]

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Contrary to what could be considered popular belief, Sheldrake was not overtly hostile or tough like the rest of the stallions on his unit. In fact, he was one of the weakest mounts and was mostly used to make important postal deliveries. When the witch hysteria rose up, he was used as an escort to the houses of the proclaimed witches to offer backup if anything got out of control. Otherwise, he was mainly cast aside and only pulled out in desperate or minor situations. This meant that Sheldrake didn't get close to anyone else on the force and that, as much as he tried, he couldn't redeem himself to the unit officers. Except when it came to Vanitas.

Vanitas was arguably the most intimidating mount, towering above most of the other stallions with a gruff and nearly volatile attitude to match. He was considered the head mount and was used on every occasion, whether it be to make arrests or to patrol through the streets to strike fear into the eyes of the townsfolk. Regardless of what it was, Vanitas was there and he could make anyone regret calling up the unit based on sheer looks alone. This is why it was surprising to Sheldrake when Vanitas would graze near him, wading off any of the other stallions from nipping at his hide and nickering when he would whinny and sprint away. Vanitas would also force himself into the stall next to Sheldrake's, to the surprise of the stable hands.

While it was inconvenient for Vanitas to stay in one of the poorer stables, the hands knew better than to try and move the beast.

Sheldrake would try his best at making some kind of personal interaction with Vanitas, but regardless of how much he whinnied or nickered, Vanitas would give him a single sidelong gaze before going back to staring forward in his silent stance. As much as it disappointed the younger stallion to not be able to make friends with the dark stallion, he tolerated and grew used to the silence. He figured it was the only way Vanitas knew how to really interact, considering his only other sounds were aggressive huffing and screaming when he reared. Not to mention, the silence kept the other stallions at bay, so he wouldn't complain about the soundless protection.
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[yeena]

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Eventually, Sheldrake found himself idolizing Vanitas. It was entirely unintentional and the colt side of him was running rampant, but he would mimic the way that Vanitas kept his chin raised and eyes sweeping, observing everything around him. He never really knew if Vanitas ever noticed, but he was fine with keeping his idolization to himself. With the other stallions not bothering him anymore, he finally was able to grow as a stallion himself. He could keep his chin perked up and ears alert, slowly gaining the attention from more unit officers. While his pelt was a lot less intimating than Vanitas' hunkering dark form, he was allowed to go on more serious runs with the officers.

One such mission was to arrest a witch that had been brewing potions in a remote village in the woods.

A majority of the unit tagged along for the long journey outside of town, to a heavily uncharted area. The rest of the stallions sighed under their breaths at the travel, complaining about how much the gravel hurt. Sheldrake kept his head high and position to the immediate left of Vanitas, eyes trained on the other stallion for any sort of reaction. There were absolutely none which was rather expected, considering Vanitas' demeanor. It wasn't long before they came across the house, a young woman and dainty mare working outside of a cabin. The mare was on edge at once, locking eyes with Sheldrake as he stared back at her unwavering.

Sheldrake felt his rider's weight shift uncomfortably as Vanitas was dismounted. At first, the encounter went swimmingly. The officer calmly explained that the woman was under arrest and that she would be going to court for her possession of the potions and for her cursed mare. But once the officer began to reach for the woman, the mare leaped up and charged forward at the man. Vanitas was too loyal to his unit to stand by and, as a result, he stamped forward in his own anger. Sheldrake and the rest of the fleet was left to watch the event unfold, where the woman decided to reach and quickly mount Vanitas before racing off with the dark steed, her own mount following suit.
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[yeena]

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As much as he avoided it, Sheldrake mourned the loss of the dark stallion. The rest of the stallions still wouldn't bother him even after Vanitas' disappearance, but it didn't make the situation any better for him. He would mope around the pastures and even though he would excel on making rounds in the town with the officers, he still had little care or desire to do them. Beyond his dutiful day, he was tired and often would lay down to sleep and forget his misery for a short while. Some nights he would stay up and stare outside of his stall, hoping that Vanitas would emerge from the darkness and trot back into his life. Unfortunately, it never happened and his dreams of it happening began to dim.

Sheldrake was terribly depressed over the disappearance until he found meaning in working hard. It started with slowly taking over the jobs that Vanitas had done previously which, contrary to popular belief, didn't settle well with him originally. He disliked trotting through the town roads and inspecting everything with his head held high and hooves pressing into the dusty trails that Vanitas had previously traveled. It broke him, to accept that Vanitas was gone. Then he realized that Vanitas would probably snort at him thinking so pathetically. Vanitas didn't show his emotions, but Sheldrake figured that he wouldn't be pleased with how his apprentice was shaping out to be.

Not that Sheldrake had even been his intentional apprentice, that is.

Regardless, the thought of appeasing Vanitas' memory was what began to motivate Sheldrake. He worked twice as hard and though he never necessarily fit into the big and intimating role as Vanitas did, he proved to be extremely reliable and durable. He carried out tasks with a newfound sense of dignity and though he was never intimidating, the fire burning in him was unmatched by the rest of the stallions. Sheldrake proved himself to be a formidable new head mount and though he never stopped waiting for Vanitas to suddenly come back into town as the same dark stallion was before, he realized that he had to focus on growing and devoting himself to the job that he had been chosen for.
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[yeena]

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Sheldrake had been doing a travelling run with an officer in another town that was quite a travel but nothing too challenging. Some of the newer recruits tagged along as well, just to save the senior members a journey. The town was quite pretty and blooming with life, but there was some issue with the colonial officers that needed addressing. As a result, Sheldrake ended up here with his rider. While waiting outside of a shop, tethered to a pole, he saw Vanitas again. The stallion looked far different from when he had seen him, but it was surely him with the long mane and braided hair. Immediately, Sheldrake felt wobbly and more or less like the past was swirling around him, again.

He only got to see Vanitas and the white mare for a glimpse, both with baskets of commodities tacked onto their backs, but it sent him spiraling. Sheldrake felt the despair of missing his self-appointed mentor turn into a matter of betrayal. Vanitas had been living a low life with the witch and her mare for a year now, instead of returning home? It felt like Vanitas had suddenly chosen to abandon them, as opposed to getting forcibly taken. It made Sheldrake tense to the point that the other stallions whinnied softly at him, concerned. Sheldrake shook them off, shaking his head and lifting his chin up. Despite his suddenly calm outward appearance, his insides were burning like a fire.

Sheldrake became quickly obsessive while staying in that town. He couldn't forgive Vanitas for this betrayal. Everything felt surreal and as if it had been a lie. He would kick at the ground while everyone else slept soundly, teeth grinding at the thought of Vanitas abandoning them. Everything he had looked up towards became a skewed, pathetic view of the stallion that he saw now. Instead of a short mane with sleek looks, Vanitas had a long untamed mess. Sheldrake couldn't see himself getting over this event, viewing Vanitas now and seeing just how much he had changed.

He couldn't find it in himself to forgive the dark stallion.
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[yeena]

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It was nearing their time to leave the new town and return home, after staying for nearly a month. Sheldrake had seen Vanitas in a couple more passing glances and his obsession without forgiveness turned feral at every turn.

Sheldrake had been leaving, trotting out with his rider, when a loud commotion to their right startled the unit into halting their movements. In front of a store to the side, a man was leaping back after patting Vanitas' neck without so much as permission. The woman, with a sweet but firm voice, was scolding him, and Vanitas was flaring his nostrils at him, hooves landing extremely close to the man's feet. Sheldrake paused at the scene, staring at the way that Vanitas stood with his powerful figure at full tension, ears alert. The white mare stood near his side, her mane done in a similar braided fashion.

It dawned on Sheldrake that Vanitas hadn't changed much, if at all. The only difference was that now he had the ability to be uninhabited and free, something that the stallion had been yearning for. Sheldrake drew his own ears back when Vanitas suddenly whipped his head to face him, supposedly sensing that a certain pair of eyes were on him. Vanitas seemed to straighten out of his defensive position when his eyes met Sheldrake's, with his chin tilting up in silence. The gesture was easily understood by Sheldrake and he felt his chest puff out.

The commotion calmed down and the unit went on their way again, Sheldrake not hesitating to turn his head from Vanitas when his rider pulled. While Sheldrake found it hard to accept that Vanitas had moved on, that's exactly what it wasn't. It wasn't a matter of being abandoned or left behind, instead, Vanitas had merely found the next chapter in his life. It provided some closure for Sheldrake, to realize that Vanitas still recognized him and had that fiery personality deep within him from before. It also allowed Sheldrake to accept that it was time for him to go onto the next chapter of his life as well. To live to forgive and move on.
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