Username: Zailune
Fox Name: Penelope Ostreou | Nickname: Pear
Gender: Female | she/her
I never thought it could be,
My nature violently taking me,
A wild sense of spite and malice,
Amid the blossoms in the field outside the palace ♫
My nature violently taking me,
A wild sense of spite and malice,
Amid the blossoms in the field outside the palace ♫
_________________
Flower: Cattails
- Astvalha -
- The City of Knowledge -
- The City of Knowledge -
Journal of Lady Penelope Ostreou
I'm writing this journal as an apology - an apology to my father and an apology to those who discover this journal in the future. Perhaps I'm writing this as an apology to the part of myself of which has been broken and torn by my own actions.
There is no method of return. I accept that I am responsible for the situation I've fallen into. I accept the consequences and the weight of which I've spilled onto the shoulders of those who supported me; those who I've betrayed.
I am undeserving of your forgiveness, and I am deeply sorry.
________
Two bushy ears lifted above the tall grass, and a young fox hopped her way out of the foliage and towards a clearing where the grass stood lower, and the sun touched more of the dirt. This little fox was known as Lady Penelope Ostreou, daughter and only child of Heicim Ostreou, a well respected noble with great political influence in the City of Astvalha, also known as The City of Knowledge and famous for their grand library which contained countless entries and archives available to the entire kingdom.
Standing nearby and awaiting Pear's presence was the beautiful, widely known and praised Princess Khaivelle Heibe, daughter of the King Bevere Heibe, who had been close friends with Pear since their early childhood. Now, the two were teenagers, and they were both held with high expectations and places in mind due to their families' statuses.
________
I know now what I had tried to do was simply a mistake, I know now I was wrong.
Though, I can't help but wonder if there really was another way.
Through the confusion and chaos I've dug a deeper and deeper grave.
Yet, a part of me wonders what could have been done. I could not have fathomed events unfolding as they have.
________
Walking down a corridor within the palace, Pear could not help but catch a strange glimpse as two politically influential men began walking around the corner, but they were very oppositional to one another, having polar opposite positions on certain aspects of the condition of the kingdom and the civilians which inhabited this city.
"I understand, sir." Melphus Piir, a noble with close connections to the King himself stated as he walked with Jusur Nalle, a noble who held influence in the military, who was known for holding conflicting ideals with certain movements of the High Court and King. These two were almost never seen together - or rather, their discussions generally became heated even in public settings. Pear, who had been studying the positions of the High Court and King's rule, ducked into a nearby room before she could be noticed by the two. She listened closely.
"The seed has been planted, and it shall grow."
"We will see in time how the blossoms will spread and take hold."
"Yes, though I wonder how Heicim will fare." My father?
"Only time will tell. It will ultimately be a matter of loyalty, I suppose."
________
I feel a sickness welling up inside me when I think of how this all began. My wishful thoughts and dreams for those I love and wish to protect blinded me to the reality of what was occurring around me. I can't consider myself a victim, however. It was my ignorance that brought me to this dark place, after all.
________
Pear stood amongst the flowers of the blooming field, the same field she had many memories of from years ago when she ran and played with the Princess, her closest friend. "What's your favorite flower?" Pear asked, watching as Khaivelle observed the blooms.
"I love the sunflowers, My Velle, because they're tall and beautiful!" Pear continued, still waiting for an answer. Khaivelle turned to her with a wide smile stretched across her face.
"That's very shallow, you know." Khaivelle said jokingly.
"What is there to a flower besides its beauty?" Pear huffed. Khaivelle let out a giddy chuckle, and turned around.
"You should know this, considering your own heritage." She said, turning back to Pear. "Flowers are much more than their beauty. Some have medicinal properties, others are calming. Some are used in scriptures to represent emotions and the expression of love."
Pear tilted her head. "Then what's your favorite?" She asked curiously.
"The cattails." The Princess spoke bluntly. Pear burst into laughter.
"What's so special about those?" She asked, still laughing. "Cattails.... the most boooring plant!"
The Princess shook her head. "I suppose they aren't so special to many others. Still, my fondest memories come from the fields outside the palace. I'm sure you know this, Penelope. You know of the place where the flowers blow in the wind, and the grass stands tall - yes, cattails are a representation of escape! At least for me - and I'd be a hypocrite to suggest any other type of flora was my favorite."
Pear stood quietly, thinking to herself. After a moment, she spoke again. "Yeah, it's different for everyone."
________
A seed was planted, of course - a seed destined to grow into a weed. I took an interest in spying on others and eavesdropping on the conversations of those who stood above me. I was seen as innocent and unaware, but I was slowly gathering knowledge. This knowledge wasn't like that I'd read in my books, very much unlike those presented in the text of which I'd followed for studious purposes - this knowledge was foul, corrupt - this knowledge could only lead down one path if I'd chosen to involve myself, as I had, and now I had to face the consequences.
It's my fault. It's my interruption, my self-insertion into a situation I could not possibly dream to grasp. Not yet, at least. I was young and foolish, I guess.
________
"Sir!" A young Fox rushed across the corridor, yelping out for the attention of his superior. "It's important!"
"What is the meaning of this?"
"There's been a leak of sorts - the High Court made a declaration, and the King has spoken!" The little Fox said. "I- I don't know what will come of this, but I knew you had to know." He continued, handing a scroll to the man he served. The superior took the scroll and took a glimpse at the contents, before shutting it.
"I will dissect the contents privately. Please return to your position."
Seventeen total. That was the head count, the number of high nobles told to be rebellious and traitorous to the sanctity and wellbeing of the kingdom. It didn't even touch the number of supporters named to the hidden movement - a movement which would unseat the King and place a new system overriding the authority of the Royals. Word was spreading fast, and actions of banishment and consequence would come swiftly to those who opposed the rule. The High Court stood with the King in this matter, declaring those supporting and contributing to the movement as traitors and horrid conspirators.
Pear hadn't a clue the depth of this. Her curiosity had been sated by her efforts to spy and discover truths hidden within the political system which stood at the top of the city. She continued to live her simple life up until her next meeting with the Princess.
Pear sat in her room, writing into her journal when she felt a tap on her shoulder. "Ack!" She exclaimed, startled.
"I need to talk with you." Khaivelle said sternly. They snuck together amongst the rushing guards and clattering of paws, out a back door and into the field of which they'd spent many days together.
- …
"I'm sorry, but I know what you've been doing. I know you've been involved with the conspirators. I know you're innocent in this, but your father... read this."
Penelope was handed a scroll. She undid the binding which held it and unraveled it to discover its contents. The seventeen heads. One of them was her father.
"What does this mean??" Pear asked with desperation in her voice. "What will become of him?"
"Pear, my dear friend, your father is in custody. My family, the Royals, the High Court... they're trying to decide what to do with you. I believe... you must leave." The Princess said. Pears ears dropped, as well as her grip on the scroll. "Leave?" She said softly. "To where?"
________
Now, I would like to state something for the eyes that will lay upon this in the future. Yes, the palace was my home. My family, mainly just my father and I - we had close relations with the Royals. We were granted a place to stay within the palace, and we were treated like part of the Royal family. That is, until it happened. I'm now writing this from a small, broken shack littering the border of the city, sitting amongst old hay and feed for the animals I help care for. Honestly, I don't know if anyone will find this. I honestly don't fully know why I feel the need to express my feelings of this matter in a journal once again. It was a journal that led to my situation. Though, I feel it functions as a comfort - probably a comfort of which I do not deserve. Its likely the only way I'll ever be able to openly express my sorrow as well, and the pain I feel for bringing pain to others.
I need to go. It's about time I completed my duties for this day.
As this may very well be my final entry to this particular document, I will leave some notes - some things about myself. Things that have relevance to this in a way you readers probably wouldn't be able to understand. Just, something for me.
My name: Penelope Ostreou, or simply Pear
My favorite book: The Forsaken, by Pruto Jascan
My favorite flower: Cattails
