"wisteriapaw! wisteriapaw! wisteriapaw!"
pride gleamed in my parents' eyes.
i was happy. my mentor was rainfang.
he was grumpy, and i was somewhat scared.
sunheart told me he was nice sometimes. did i believe her?
"what if he's putting up a front? what if he hates you, and one day he'll snap?" she whispered.
"well, i... i don't know. what if? why don't i just live and find out?"
"ooo. what if he asks thistlestar for another apprentice? haha. soon you'll see, kit. you'll mess up."
"well-- don't say that, he wouldn't!"
she grinned maliciously. "would he?"
would he?
would he?
no, he wouldn't
but i'm not sure
"the hunting crouch goes like this. watch, wisteriapaw." he got into position. "remember not to look like a duck. avoid that-- do exactly what i'm doing. do you see?"
"yes, i see. uh-- do i do it now?"
"well, i'm not expecting you do do it tomorrow, am i?"
"ah, yes, sorry." i blushed. "like... this?"
"..you did everything i told you not to. look-- your legs shouldn't be there, you'll injure yourself when you jump. and you'll never keep the balance like that. am i teaching a kit, or an apprentice?"
"i just started!"
"well, i thought you'd be able to retain something. clearly i'm wrong." he huffed.
oh no. i messed up again. "i'm sorry." i squeaked.
"sorry catches no prey - or in your case, fixes your stance. try again."
"that was terrible. i just failed at everything. will i ever be a warrior?" i cried out to myself.
"apparently not. i was right, wasn't i? eventually he'll just give up on you. i can feel it." it was her again.
"why do i stay with you?" i wondered aloud. not like i cared if her feelings were hurt, anyway. "all you do is put me down. i should just leave now."
"bold of you to assume you can leave. haha. no, i only tell the truth. too bad your feelings are hurt."
"well you tell the mean truth! what are you, anyway? you can't be starclan. you're too rude for that."
"what if i'm not? how do you know who i am?"
"that doesn't answer my question."
"you don't always get the answers you want. or answers at all. haha."
her trademark giggle.
"why do you just bug me?"
"because i feel you, of all, need to be told the truth."
why me?
it had been an up day.
'al' hadn't been bothering me in a while. i called her that-- she didn't like it.
so i kept doing it.
i just lounged in the sun, taking it in.
training had been better - i felt rainfang liked me more and more. slowly.
the sky was moderately clear, bright, and blue; beautiful.
i particularly liked looking at the sky. whenever a cloud drifted by, i'd look at the shapes.
"that one looks like a tree." i whispered to myself. who cares if i looked weird? i didn't.
"that one looks weird... maybe a cat." i giggled. looked like rainfang, droopy and spiky.
"and that... looks like a scary dog. oo, its fangs are out."
"thistlestar! we have an emergency!" a group of warriors rushed in.
i scrambled to my paws so i wouldn't look lazy and disrespectful.
"what is it, sunheart? what happened?"
"group of dogs. most of us escaped by climbing away on the nearby trees. but poor gingerwhisker - he was caught. i'm afraid he's dying."
"to the medicine den! now!"
gingerwhisker? dad? no, this couldn't be
everything was going right for a change what happened
"dad, please tell me you're okay."
"don't worry, wis. it's going to be alright."
"please! please tell me!"
"it's alright. listen. lemme tell you something i never got to say." he pulled me closer. "i have had many regrets in my life. never you. don't be like me-- don't rush into the wrong things and don't be afraid to do the right things."
he coughed - and his eyes closed.
"no. no."
my father had a relationship with a kittypet.
he told me all about her. how big and beautiful she was. how her curls were like mine.
one day, she was having kits.
she wasn't supposed to. but she did.
i was the only one who was sneaked out. the rest. i do not know.
he always told me, in tears, how he should've convinced her to stay. but she wasn't, and she went back to get the rest of her kits.
she was never seen again.
"this was your fault. there were ways you could have prevented this. you could have stopped him earlier. but you didn't, and dear dad is dead!"
"stop it! that's so mean! i couldn't have!"
she looked into my eyes. directly, she stated, "you could have. and you know it."
"wisteriapaw? i just wanted to know if you were alright?" snowpaw? him?
"i-- i guess."
"no you aren't. all you've been doing is crying. i heard about your dad... i'm sorry."
sorry is what everyone says. but it doesn't bring him back.
he means well, though.
"it's okay. yeah, it's been rough. thanks for, uh, staying here. i didn't think anyone would."
"sure thing! hey, you wanna come with me on the patrol tomorrow? i may not be deputy, but i can convince her, i'm sure." he winked. "i like to consider myself a good charmer."
i giggled.
we grew closer and closer. he was a good friend.
of course, she had to intervene.
"ooo you like him, don't you?" she hissed. "of course you do."
"i don't!"
"i see your face going red. you do! how hilarious. you know this won't last, right?"
"why so."
"oh, maybe you'll drive him away with your annoying personality. or he'll just hate you. or--"
"stop. stop!"
"remember i'm only telling the truth, wisteriapaw. remember the truth."
