♔

[faelyn]

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hi!
sent;; what came first? the chicken or the egg??
from;; eggie
to;; random chicken


hi, friend!!! c:
happy birthday!!!
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re;; hi!
sent;; idc. prolly the chicken
from;; random chicken xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
to;; eggie


O. M. G.
WHO ARE YOU??
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re;; hi!
sent;; what came first? the chicken or the egg??
from;; eggie
to;; random chicken


it's me! eggie!
and it's ur birthday today!!
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re;; hi!
sent;; idc. prolly the chicken
from;; random chicken xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
to;; eggie


DON'T TALK TO ME.
DON'T BE A CREEP.
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re;; hi!
sent;; what came first? the chicken or the egg??
from;; eggie
to;; random chicken


what's wrong with u? ur
acting very strange..
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re;; hi!
sent;; idc. prolly the chicken
from;; random chicken xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
to;; eggie


STOP TALKING TO ME
I DONT KNOW WHO U ARE
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re;; hi!
sent;; what came first? the chicken or the egg??
from;; eggie
to;; random chicken


if u insist..
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re;; hi!
sent;; idc. prolly the chicken
from;; random chicken xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
to;; eggie


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[faelyn]

██
██

hello, t
here!! i
'm iyan!
& um,, y
eah.. hi.

██████
x

█████████

i'm always excited
to meet new peop
le so dm me and m
aybe we can be fri
ends?? i don't bite!

[faelyn]

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credits;;
pic -- click!
♔ ♔ ♔ ♔ ♔
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[faelyn]

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they say i’m monster
maybe i am
they say i’m heartless
that the ravens ate my soul
that the crows twisted my mind
into something else
it kills me to know
that everything my fingers touch
is a disaster
i am the rain
and the rain is me
weeping
turning the world
and the heavens above
into dark pastels

but they don’t know me
they never will
i’ve given up
given up trying to be perfect
in their eyes
given up trying
to be someone i’ll never be
and that’s okay

because i only know me
and that’s more than enough

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[faelyn]

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healing. finally being fixed.
it was all he had ever wanted. but those crowns that displayed perfection would never be his. he had always been like this.. too
serious. too cynical. far from lovable.
they would say he was far from alright.

they would say that his heart had been replaced with a bitter stone.. that whatever was left of it had been poisoned, turning the
sweetest of emotions into something sinister.
but.. it was far from that.

he had been lovable once.
sweet. thoughtful. funny. once perfect in the eyes of someone that lit up his entire world. but, it was all gone now.

he had tried.. tried again and again to fix himself. to cover up the scars that ran much deeper than skin-deep.
but… with her gone. it was impossible.

she was his entire world.
her smiles. her light-hearted laugh. she always lived in the moment.. brushing aside her heartache to truly love him. and.. he loved
her in return. he would never forget those beautiful eyes that captivated azure butterflies.. how they fluttered whenever he
chorused the lullabies that he had made up on his own. they never sounded good.. too clunky, cheesy even.. but ilyana, she loved
them anyway.

she had always been shy if he asked her to sing. said that her voice was too squeaky, even worse than his.
but whenever she did.. it was like the angels of flora and fauna had come together to sing. those symphonies… they were light and
dainty. gentle in the dancing shadows of nightfall.

"i've never heard you sing before, love."
letting a gentle chuckle as a cerulean butterfly landed on the crown of her head, roses blossomed within the maiden's cheeks,
turning it into a coral pink. "i bet your voice would be gorgeous, maybe even better than mine."

he could see her, now.
beneath the soft light from the morning star, she looked like an angel. the queen of the heavens. a halo of light danced above
her head as her eyes fluttered to the valleys below.

"you'd be completely surprised, alek," the curve of her lip faltered a bit, her smile more nervous as her fingers danced above a
dandelion, hovering over it as if she were about to pick it. "i think you sound better than me.. i sound like a mouse."

"ah, ilyana. i seriously doubt that! if anything you would sound like a songbird." eyes fluttering shut in a little wink, he
nudged her gently. "if you're scared i'll laugh, i promise i won't."

a heartbeat went by.. one then two.
then.. she sang. sang like a songbird. an angel. the queen of stars.
she sang of a village girl who fell in love with a prince. how they sacrificed everything to runaway.. and how much it was worth
it in the end.

her songs.. they were the last memory he ever had of her.
no.. it was one of the last memories he had ever had of her.. because a lifetime ago, he had once held onto little souls that
sang a falsetto of tears. little kits that wailed for their mother.

they were so beautiful.. just like her.
alluring in every single way as their tears adorned the meadows beneath. they called for her.. called for their mother that would
never come back. that would never sing to them or tell them stories as they wandered into a place of dreams. never again.
for she was gone like a falling star.

he couldn’t raise them with her gone. couldn’t bear to look at them.. at their curls that looked just like hers. he couldn’t do it.
couldn’t be the father that they deserved.
so, he gave them away -no- left them defenseless in woody dales for someone to find them. dead or alive.

and he remembered that day all too well.
all around him the cadence of rain were radiated, spilling over into the silence like a waterfall. the skies.. or perhaps the
angels, were weeping, their tears falling among the rain that touched the earth with a gentleness like no other, as if pleading him
to change his mind about what was to come.

the moon was nowhere in sight, almost like it had fallen from the sky, leaving the world into eternal darkness. the stars had been
disguised in the dark plumes overhead, their gold lights drained out, washed away by angelic tears.

but.. among all the chaos of falling rain and eternal sorrows.
he could hear them.. the mewls of ilyana’s last mark of this world. his kits. all of them were nameless. but forever special in his
heart. but, even so.. he was a failure. a terrible father. but.. this was what was best for them.. for him.

they couldn’t spend their lives raised by a cat who couldn’t bear the sight of them.
this was what needed to be done. someone else would raise them. someone else would love them as their own. someone else
would treat them better than he ever could. he would always love them… however faraway they may be.

but inside.. his heart ached.
he would never get the chance to see them grow up or even know their true names. he would never get to sing them the songs that
would make their mother smile and cringe at the same time.
would this be what ilyana wanted?

no.
because, if she were here.. right now with him. she would scold him like one would do for a kit. she would tell him he was crazy
and that he lost his mind. but.. after, she would kiss him and tell him that he was perfect.

but, she wasn’t here now.
she was gone and would never come back.

so, he left them there.
underneath the laurel tree, whose leaves drooped as the rain fell. and kept them warm under a shrub of roses and thorns before he
turned around, leaving them defenseless against whatever the monsters of the world had in store for them.


but, it turned out that the only monster of this world was himself.
for he was heartless.
cynical.
self-centered.
changed.
unlovable.

but, whenever he lay beneath the stars above.. he would remember the cat he once was. the cat, ilyana knew.
the cat who was sweet.
thoughtful.
funny.
lovable.
and perfect.
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[faelyn]

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dear orsino.. my little one,
if i had a choice i wouldn’t have left you… but for that i’m sorry.
i’m so sorry, orsino.

i don’t know if you’ll ever read this… or if you remember me. your mother.. who never came back after leaving at midnight. i
know. you might never forgive me for leaving you behind and your sister. but.. it was for your good.

when i was young and foolish, i made a mistake... i stole a gem.. a gem that gnomes devoted their lives to find.

the gnomes.. they wanted revenge ever since.
they want you.. orsino. to tear you apart, just like i did to their hearts when i stole the gem they worked so hard for.

but, i made a deal.. and you still live. though, i may not be.

but, you’ve always been strong, my little cub. you don’t need me, you never will.
you are fierce, child. fiercer than any soul that could ever exist.

i would never forget you.. tumbling through the valleys we had lived on together. you… being so protective of your sister whenever
she sauntered too near to the river’s edge. you, orsino, are different.. braver than you’ll ever know.

but there are things you still fear.. and that’s alright. more than alright.
because, i can still see you in my mind, my little cub.. whimpering in the corner of our den as the rain fell and the thunder roared.
i told you something.. gave you something, too. lessons that i hoped you’d never forget. never.
even when i’m gone.

do you remember? the story of the little cub? a cub that lost his mother in the rain.. but thrived even with her gone?
oh, orsino. i hope you understand.

do you still have those shoes that i gave to you? i remember you naming them.. scratchy, stitch, mud and button. those names were
so fitting.. especially button.
you loved wearing them in the rain.. and just wearing them in general. it kept your little toes dry, and your bravery sky-high.

i love you, orsino. i love how fearless you are.. your wit, passion.. everything about you.
but that’s what a mother is for.. right?

goodbye, my little cub.
i’ll see you in another lifetime.
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[faelyn]

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entry for stars #1455 & #1456 !!
<3 <3 <3
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[faelyn]

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my heart had been stolen... and now, i'm numb. i can't feel anything but the gentle heartbeat of a little silhouette who softly snored.

her name is nessa.
she’s my little sister.

but.. there were once four of us.

but now there are only two... and i’m responsible. i dragged them into an adventure of a lifetime. one that stole their lives.

i know what you are thinking. why? why bring them on an adventure that would lead to their deaths?
to answer your question.. i did this because i was selfish. i dragged them into this because our mother hated me..

i never knew why.

so, i convinced all my littermates she hated them, too.
how wrong i was. she loved them, sang lullabies to them. kissed them whenever they had nightmares.

but all four of us.. we ran, anyway.

and my world fell apart.

seren was lost in a storm.
javi was snatched up by an eagle.
nessa almost lost her life to a deathly illness.

and i’m still here.
but the devil watching over my shoulder.. sworn to make me suffer for everything i’ve ever done.

but there’s still hope for nessa's future...and that’s all that matters to me.

#203/200 words!! <3 i hope it's alright if i'm a little over <3
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[faelyn]

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it’s almost startling to see how much my brother -rai- had changed.
from what i remember.. rai had always been reckless… always the first to suggest new places to explore. the first to frolic upon
an unsteady cliff and holler that it seemed pretty safe.

i miss the old days.
i miss mom. dad.
i miss seren and javi.

it’s stupid of me to think that way.

you know that question that people ask sometimes? the one about if you had a choice to change the past or the future.. which
one would you pick?

personally, i would pick the past.
i can’t help but think if i had never left, to go on this ‘adventure of a lifetime’. would things be different? well… hell, of course
it would. javi and seren would still be here and blah, blah blah.. but still.

but if i chose the ability to change the future.. i could have everything. even a perfect life.

but.. won’t the whole point of life be defeated?

so, if i had no choice.. and magically had the ability to change the future into whatever i want.. i’d turn it away. i’d refuse to
alter my future.. because i don’t know what i want for my future.

i don’t know if i want to fall in love, have kits of my own or lead an entire nation.
and.. i don’t want to pick.

i want my entire future to be left in the hands of fate..

whether fate tosses me into a reality of insecurities or lands me somewhere that feels completely unfamiliar, but, right now..
i don’t want to put boundaries of where i’ll go, who i want to become or where i’ll end up.
because that’s up to fate to decide. and whatever it picks.. i’ll be happy.

#301/300 words!! <3
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