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Having your closest friend not trust you anymore is an awful feeling, especially when that friend is your sister. Oceanfang felt like an outcast in the clan, even with their clan-mates unaware of the murder, she felt like the cats in Starclan stood over her, telling of a cruel fate. She’d try to catch even a glimpse of Rivershadow’s eyes wandering over to her, meeting her own. What she did was wrong, but it was really an accident. Others would never know of how sinister Adderpelt’s plans were- breaking apart a clan over a new leader? ‘Sacrificing’ a cat’s place in the clan for it? Oceanfang only wanted to warn her of what would come of going through with such a plan… The murder stuck in her head when she returned, playing over and over as she tried to talk normally to the other cats; She could only imagine their faces in shock and horror as if they knew what she’d done. She couldn’t handle staying here. Not when her own sister probably blamed her for everything.
As snoring cats surrounded her, Oceanfang took one last look over at her soundly sleeping sister. Tears slipped from her eyes as she retreated out of the den. Anything was better than staying in a clan she betrayed. Rivershadow would be better off without her, she assured herself as tall grass that grabbed at her fur became tall trees that protected her. She’d never share her past, what she’d done, to any cat.
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Rivershadow had never felt so torn about anything in her entire life. Even the forbidden romance had been nothing more than a little puppy love and young rebellion - how in the world did it end up in murder?! Owlstar had taken sympathy on Rivershadow for being the one to find the horrifying crime scene, and had given the young warrior some time off to collect herself and her thoughts. Rivershadow hadn’t dared to tell her leader the truth, or anything close to it for that matter. If she said anything, Oceanfang could be in huge trouble; however… is that what her sister deserved? Rivershadow gave a miserable groan, curling up tighter in her gentle bed of moss as she thought. Even her lover hadn’t returned to meet her, to see how she was… Had that gone sour so quickly, too?
Usually in times of trouble, River would curl up with her sister, cry about whatever was bothering her, and usually Oceanfang would have something wise or kind or just sincere to help the young warrior settle again; however, Rivershadow hadn’t been able to meet her sister’s gaze since the incident. She tried her hardest to keep things normal between them, but it was almost subconscious the way she would sit just a little farther, or find something to do when her sister asked about a chat or going for a walk. In all honesty, River felt the most torn about how she was supposed to respond to Oceanfang…
However, she certainly hadn’t expected her to flee. Waking up next to an empty nest, Rivershadow had sprung to her paws, looking around wildly. It was very rare that Oceanfang ever woke up earlier than she did, and where could she have gone? She was torn, of course, but she didn’t know what to do without her sister! They had been together forever, and even in this terrifying time, it was even more terrifying for Rivershadow to realize that she was now fully and truly alone.
She searched the camp and the surrounding territory, under every rock and around every clump of grass, and when she came back empty-pawed, she could barely stand the sympathy the other cats were trying to share with her. Rivershadow didn’t want to be surrounded or told it would be alright, she just wanted to know what she was supposed to think and supposed to do. From that moment on, her demeanor became almost robotic, and constantly confused. It would take a few times before an order made sense to her again, and even then, she became very quiet and withdrew from the rest of her clanmates. It was like she was a whole different cat, and when she finally stopped waiting for her sister, she changed completely beyond repair. It would be different now for the young warrior - she would retreat inside of herself far too often, and the cats who knew her before would tell anyone that it wasn’t always that way. While she considered wandering off to become a loner, she never could do it. One day, she would know what to do… one day.