I feel guilty for this but... I realized I haven't truly broken down over... him... in a month or so. Maybe I'm healing. Maybe I'll never fully heal. Writing this, my heart is breaking slightly but... I'm not crying. I feel bad but maybe things are settling even though, I'll never forget him.
But I can actually listen to their songs that he isn't in and not feel like there's a gaping hole, that only he could fix. I still see a huge rip when I see the four of them, not five. I always do a count when I see a picture of them... four seems so lonely. He was... he was their sunshine, that's for sure but... I can actually listen to their songs and enjoy them a lot. I was scared I'd never be able to support their new stuff but hey, I can. <333 That makes my day.