-incognito- wrote:eroska wrote:i have never met someone who makes my heart ache so badly when they don’t feel well or deserve more like she does. she makes me so selfless and protective, id kill and die for her and that’s scary lol.I know this probably isn't what you want to hear, but this isn't a healthy state of mind. I know you love this person deeply, but remember to put yourself first. Too often, people are fleeting and if she were to break your heart, you have to have yourself to fall back on. And in order to be able to fall back on yourself, you have to value the person you are more than anyone else. Your happiness cannot rely on anyone else - they can contribute to your happiness, but they should not create it. Since it makes your heart ache so much and that can't be helped: when she doesn't feel well, comfort her and when she deserves more, tell her that you feel that way and perhaps it will open her eyes. But she is not yours to protect.
Don't be willing to kill and die for someone who won't do the same for you.
Source: I felt this way about a person before, and they ended up breaking my heart - that's how I learned this lesson. Obviously, I don't know your situation from just those sentences, but it brought up a memory of my past mistakes so that's why I'm giving this advice
hi! how do you know she doesn’t feel the same? or that im codependent from that sentence alone? i appreciate the advice, but this is a bit strange coming from someone who knows nothing about the situation, no offense. my last relationship was abusive, and before that i didn’t know how to be selfish. in the amount of time between last breakup and now ive learned how to treat myself kinder and discover what i want and put it first. we aren’t even together, because we respect each other’s and our own health and are taking it that slow but we do love each other. i think it’s a wonderful feeling, finally caring for someone enough to hurt when they do. because i didn’t feel it before. i appreciate the advice and caution but i know my boundaries and what is and isn’t good from past repetition. im comfortable here. it’s just intimidating because the genuine care and love is new, not materialistic or romanticized.