The Blessed War
This story is still very much in progress, and it's my first draft. Still beating out all the plot details and what not, but I just wanted to share a little of what I have to see what all ya'll thing of it. So comments are very much appreciated. Oh I had an older version of this on here before, but I changed my idea drastically since then, so this is new. Also I do want to clarify right now my story is mostly about the character development and so I haven't added all the detailed descriptions of the places. This is still a very rough draft so please do be nice.
Thanks. Oh please don't steal any of my idea.
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Chapter 1 Changes in Color
It was a pleasant warm sunny day, the seventeenth of June to be exact. There were no clouds to be seen in the sky, and the sky its self was a brilliant blue color. The fields had just been harvested and then burned to make the soil fertile, and ready for planting again later in the year. The meadows were filled with beautiful wild flowers and grasses of all sorts. It was a wonderful and special day in many, many ways. It was time for the four to rise.
“Today‘s my seventeenth birthday Flicker!” Erica told the little hummingbird that landed on her finger; it cocked its head at her and then flew away. Erica sighed and lay back in the flowers, little purple ones called lupine. The flowers were small and similar in looks to a bluebell, but they were a pretty light violet color with more of a purple tone to them then bluebells. In Erica’s opinion they were also a lot prettier. She rolled over onto her stomach and watched a fat little bumblebee as it buzzed around a small clump of clovers, hovering over the small, white flowers.
The small meadow Erica was lazing in was just a little ways into the woods. It was untouched by the hands of men, or of cattle for that matter. The grass still grew thick and bright, all sorts of flowers poked their heads out of the fertile soil, heads bobbing with the gentle breeze that meandered its way through the forest. The trees around her were still green and had full crowns of leaves. Nearby was a small stream, babbling its way merrily through the meadow towards town where it would turn into a roaring river that turned the mill. Everything was warm and bright and beautiful, the way it should be during summer.
The hummingbird she had been talking to earlier came back flitting around her head chirping incessantly as if she was trying to tell Erica something. She held out a finger and the little iridescent green bird landed on it. The hummingbird’s tiny feathers were an iridescent green color, and she had with a shimmering red bib, light grey chest and some lighter brown feathers mixed with the green in her wings.
“Yes?” she asked the pretty little green bird. Flicker twittered at her a little more and then flew a little ways away landing on a branch of a tree. She looked at her and twittered again. Flicker seemed to want her to follow. Erica smiled indulgently, “Oh alright here I come.”
Erica pushed herself to her feet picking up her long bow as she went; she was suppose to be out hunting for dinner but had gotten distracted by the flowers. She followed the little bird as she flitted from tree branch to tree branch. Once she saw a small doe, but since it was a female deer she didn’t shoot at it. The tiny bird she had named Flicker- due to the fact she seemed to flicker in and out of view since she blended in so well with the forest- led her deep into the western part of the forest; she rarely went near the western part anymore, and wasn’t sure what she was doing here.
This part of the forest was deep and thickly wooded. Brush clogged the trails the animals had carved through it, roots stuck out of the ground ready to trip the unwary travelers. Branches locked overhead blocking out the majority of the sunlight that flittered through the branches. Fewer birds twittered out their gay melodies the farther they went into the forest. She glanced at Flicker wondering what the bird wanted from her and where they were headed too. She guessed they had been traveling for close to twenty minutes now, maybe half an hour at the most.
Erica had gather up a fair amount of scrapes and bruises from tripping over tree roots and tramping through bushes, following flicker to wherever it was the bird was going. She was curious as to why they were heading so deep into the forest. If she hadn’t been so curious she would have stopped and went back the other way by now.
“You had better be able to lead me out of here Flicker. I’m not quite sure I could find my way myself,” she told Flicker. The hummingbird made a whirring noise that sounded like an indignant ‘of course I can’. Erica smiled, she could find her own way out if she had to but it would be easier and faster to have Flicker lead her out instead.
“So why am I here again? You never told me.” she asked the bird.
They had reached a clearing the forest, it was slightly better lit than the rest of the forest, and Erica had to shade her eyes since they had grown used to the dull green tinted light from before. There was a small pool in the middle of the clearing that glinted in the bright light that caught on it. It held a mysterious look to it, and seemed to hold secrets in its depths. Erica shook her head at her fanciful thoughts and stepped forward into the clearing following Flicker.
Flicker flew down onto a small rock that hung over the pond and looked over at Erica. Erica raised one eyebrow questioningly and walked over. She knelt beside the bird at the edge of the small pool of water and looked down at her reflection.
“What the, no that can’t be.” She said in shock. “There must be something wrong with this pool; because there’s no way that they could just change like that!”
She looked at Flicker, “I’m dreaming right, or else there’s something wrong with this pool.” She had heard of pools deep in forests that showed the future of those who looked into the pool. She laughed at herself, she was being silly.
“I’m dreaming that must be it.” Erica reassured herself. “I’m dreaming right Flicker.”
The bird twittered at her in annoyance. “No I must be dreaming. See I’ll wake as soon as I pinch myself.”
Erica reached over and pinched her arm, “Ouch. So I’m not dreaming then.” She asked Flicker. The hummingbird gave a little shake of her tiny, green head.
“Then, my eyes really did change, I mean I have one green eye and one brown eye now!?” she asked the bird. “I’m not going crazy; I’m just a freak now.” She said sarcastically. “Like I need this on top of everything else that happens to me! Oh my gosh this is so weird, what is wrong with me, am I some sort of freak of nature.”
By now Erica had stood and started pacing back and forth and was shouting, albeit not very loud, that would attract unwanted attention. Besides she wasn’t one to shout as a general rule, but she was really freaked out by this for some reason. Sure Erica wasn’t the run of the mill girl considering she preferred weapons to boys and breaches to dresses, but this was freaking her out.
“Okay, okay maybe I’m just imagining this, I’m just going to go home and pretend everything’s fine and see if they notice… Oh! Who am I kidding there’s no way they’re going to miss this! Okay, okay I’m just gonna go home and just deal with this. I can do it, I’ll be fine. I mean surely I’m not the first person this has happened to. Right? Alright Flicker can you please get me back to the beginning of the forest?”
Erica drew in some deep breaths to calm herself down and stopped pacing back and forth for the moment. She leaned back against a tree and stared hatefully at the pool. It had just changed the whole course of her life she was certain, but why her she didn’t rightly know. She was nothing special after all, just a poor girl with no father who lived on the outskirts of town. Done with her internal ranting she pushed away from the tree and glanced at Flicker gesturing to lead her out.
The little bird flitted upwards; her wings whirring back and forth, Erica sighed and ran a hand through her hair. She walked forwards following Flicker, making her way back through the dense forest. She managed to bring down small and most likely only half grown buck, to have for food. There were only three people in her family so they didn’t need much and a small buck would keep them fed for a few days. It still weighed quite a bit and she had quite the time of it stumbling through the forest with a whole deer to carry.
It took her a good hour to make her way back out of the forest since the deer’s legs kept snagging on branches, or Erica tripped over protruding roots and went sprawling. Eventually she did make it out and in pretty good shape too. Erica did have a few more scrapes, and one rather nasty looking cut on her arm but she was no worse for the wear.
“Alright I know where I am now Flicker. Thanks, I’m going home now.” She said to the small hummingbird. She shifted the deer’s position so that most of its weight sat on her other shoulder and then staggered off towards her house.
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“Erica! What on earth happened?” Kaylyn asked her older sister as soon as she walked in the door way. “What’s wrong with your eyes?!”
“So I’m not dreaming then?” she asked hopefully as she dropped the deer down on the porch outside of their small house. It was the one last hope she had clung to, she was still dreaming. Apparently not.
“No I don’t think so not unless I’m having the same really weird dream. Why is your eye green! It is sooo bizarre Erica, and really distracting too I seriously cannot stop staring.” Kaylyn told her as she continued to stare. Erica gave her sister a withering look. Then Erica’s mom, Karrisa, walked out to see what the fuss was all about.
“Thank you for bringing back a deer Erica and on your birthday too.” She said gratefully to her eldest daughter, and then she noticed Erica’s eyes “Oh my goodness what on earth happened to your eyes. One is green!”
Erica shrugged helplessly; one of her normally dark brown eyes had turned a deep forest green. “I have no idea mom, it just happened. I looked in a pool of water and suddenly my left eye was green. It’s peculiar isn’t it? I don’t know why any more then you do. I was already strange enough and now this has to happen to me, does fate have something against me?”
“Oh sweet heart I don’t know, but we’ll work through this just like we’ve worked through everything else. Okay, now let’s get breakfast started it’s your seventeenth birthday after all.” Her mom told her as she hugged her eldest daughter for a brief moment. Then she let go and walked into their tiny kitchen and began to get a breakfast of eggs together. Erica sighed and nodded; she picked up the deer heaving it laboriously onto her shoulders and walked towards a little clearing farther from their house.
Perhaps she would be able to figure out what to do about it after she’d eaten a good breakfast, but she had chores to perform first.
“Oh hello Flicker followed me home did you? Well I’ve got to skin the deer and cut it up so we can eat it, not a pleasant job let me tell you. You may want to stay back a ways Flicker unless you like getting a bit uh… How to put this delicately? Dirty?” Erica told the little iridescent green humming bird. Flicker flew up to a tree and found herself a comfortable perch while Erica prepared the deer so it would be fit to eat.
When she was done with everything and had gotten the mess cleaned up, the meat hung to drain the blood out and then dry, she walked back into the small house.
The Jenson’s house was a small thing with a sagging roof and far to many leaks when it rained, which, fortunately for them, was not too often. The house had once had a nice green trim on it, but now the paint was faded and peeling off. The windows were dusty and in desperate need of a cleaning, the steps up to the front were rickety and creaked with every step. It was an old house, anyone could see that.
She pulled open the door, that at least was in good shape except for the rusty hinges, but that was a safety precaution that the Jenson’s took. Three women alone in one house, and an old one at that didn’t prove to be much of a warning to stay away to robbers and the like. If anyone tried to get into the house using any of the door’s they would make a whole lot of noise since the hinges squeaked so much, and the same went for the hinges on the shutters for the windows. The idea was that Erica would wake up and be able to fend the intruders off with her bow and any other weapons she could find at the time.
“Okay, I finished cleaning the deer mom. Is breakfast ready?” Erica called over the sound of squeaking hinges, as she walked in the front door. The delicious smell of eggs wafted towards her, leading Erica into the kitchen to have a look.
Erica’s mom could make something out of nothing when it came to cooking. She was an amazing cook and because of her skill, she worked part time at a small restaurant in town. Lately she hadn’t had much time for work at the restaurant though, her back had been acting up again.
Mrs. Jenson had problems with her back that left her weak and unable to do much menial work. Cooking was the most she could really do; the rest of the chores around the house had to be done either by Erica or Kaylyn. The two girls were happy to help their mother of course. It pained then to see her hurting, and tried to help whenever they could.
“Just about finished,” Erica’s mom replied as she tipped the last omelet out of the frying pan and onto a plate. “There all done, time to eat now dear.”
Erica smiled and thanked her mom and grabbed her plate and taking it over to the table. She set it down and walked back over, “I’ll get the milk and butter if you’ll get the bread.”
“Sure I can do that Erica.” Her mom replied as she set the other two plates on the small wooden table. Erica grabbed the small jar of milk and tub of butter from the counter top and her mom got the loaf of bread. They set the milk, bread, and butter down on the small table and then sat down themselves.
“Kaylyn time to eat!” Erica called to her younger sister. Kaylyn appeared a moment later her dark brown hair twisted up in a bun.
In Erica’s opinion her younger sister was much prettier than she was. Kaylyn had long dark hair compared to Erica’s short blonde hair and sparkling blue eyes to Erica’s now odd brown and green. She was also shorter and had a far more feminine figure than Erica did. Besides she had several men in town who fancied her, and Erica had none, not that that surprised her much.
“Okay already. I’m here, now shall we pray and then eat?” She said with a grin as she sat in the wooden chair. They joined their hands and gave thanks for the food and then began to eat the delicious meal.
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“Oh I’m so sorry.” Erica said as she bumped in to someone on the busy market street. It was Saturday, and market day which meant lots of people which in turn meant Erica was a little more of a klutz. The man turned to look at her; he blinked once and then he smiled and did not at all seem disturbed by her oddly colored eyes.
“Oh not at all, it was entirely my fault, I should have been paying attention to where I was going. Please forgive me pretty lady.” The man said with a dashing bow. “Allow me to introduce myself, my name is William Pendrey but I do prefer to be called Will.”
“Pleased to meet you Will, my name is Erica.” She told him. Erica smiled, charmed in spite of herself; she knew it was her fault and not at all his, and she was surprised he had apologized and offered her his name.
She looked him over; he was quite handsome, actually a little taller than her height, with wavy blonde hair that framed his face and dark brown eyes that looked amber when they caught the light. He was obviously a warrior since he held a sense of easy grace, and had a scar across his right jaw that gave him a rougish and dashing look. She blinked annoyed at herself for even taking the time to notice how handsome he was. How debonair he looked and the way his eyes seemed to gleam and twinkle at her.
“Erica. A pretty name that befits its wearer, pleased to meet you too Erica.” Will replied with a charming smile that would stop any girl’s heart. Erica felt her heart leap, and then growled inwardly at herself, what she was thinking; he was just going taking advantage of her. Nothing more. “I must do something to repay you, would you care to join for lunch?”
“I… uh… I’m sorry, but I have things I must do so I’ll have to decline you offer, but thank you anyways.” See, she thought to herself with an inward sigh, always the same. She turned on her heel and started to walk away but Will caught up with her anyways. She frowned at the ground and then glanced sidelong up at him. Why was he following her?
“Is there something you want Will?” she asked in a slightly suspicious tone.
“Yes, I want to talk to you, to get to know you, to be friends. Is there something wrong with that?” he asked giving her a hurt look, eyes slightly down cast, mouth turned down in a bit of a pout.
“I uh I suppose not.” She replied awkwardly, she shifted the position of the long bow on her shoulder.
“Wow, can you use that bow?” Will asked her incredulously, amber eyes wide with surprise, as the bow caught his eye. Erica’s bow was a full sized long bow with a draw weight of about 70 pounds, which was a lot for a girl. She grinned up at him, eyes glinting slyly.
“You think I carry this along for show? Of course I can use it Will.” Erica replied indignantly, “And a lot better than you could too, I’m sure.”
“Oh really? Are you willing to give me a chance to prove myself then?” Will asked her with a grin, his amber eyes speculative and challenging. He was pretty good with a bow himself although it wasn’t his weapon of choice. He preferred to use a straight sword, which was evident since he carried one at his hip, though for some reason the scabbard was empty at the moment.
“Certainly,” she replied, with a sardonic look. This wasn’t the first time she had been challenged to an archery competition, and it wouldn’t be the last either. So far she had lost only once and that was because the man she had been shooting against had cheated making her mess up. He’d regretted that greatly afterward, of that Erica had made certain. She had a deep sense of justice and hated people who cheated to win.
“Well then would you come with me so I can get my bow and my quiver? I wouldn’t want you to run off while I’m gone. I’m staying at the Red Lady Inn and Tavern.” He told her, he offered her his arm like any normal gentleman would. Erica gave him an odd look, ignored the offered arm, and walked off towards the Red Lady Inn. Will frowned at her retreating figure and hurried to catch up to her.
The way to the Tavern was well known to Erica, and since the Tavern was the nicest in town it was near the center, but also close to the markets. Since it was mid morning the streets were crowded with women heading to and from the market, people driving their carts down the hard packed dirt streets. Children ran by laughing, and tripping up adults for fun. Erica threaded easily through the streets, without tripping for once, with Will in tow, until she arrived at the Red Lady tavern.
“Okay, here we are.” She said as she pushed the doors open and walked in.
She glanced around the place breathing in the scent of cooking that wafted from the kitchen mixed with the musky smell of beer and polished wood. Round tables filled the floor, and each table had four chairs pushed against them, though there were a few along the walls made up for couple or groups of two. At the other side of the room was the bar behind which stood the owner of the tavern waiting for the regular mid day customers that would soon begin to arrive. Then in the near right hand corner was the stairs that lead up to the rooms the temporary inhabitants of the Inn would occupy.
Will nodded and headed towards the stairs calling, “Don’t go away.”
Erica gave him a wry look, that he didn’t see since his back was turned and stalked over to the bar. She took a seat on one of the chair pushed up to it and smiled at the bar keeper.
“Hey Erica haven’t seen ya ‘round ‘ere in some time.” Brown called from the other end of bar. Mr. Brown or just Brown as he preferred to be called was the owner of the Red Lady tavern, which he had named after his wife. Mrs. Brown had been a dancer known as The Red Lady, because she always appeared wearing a red gown. His wife had been beautiful, but she had died a few years ago in child birth. He and Erica were good friends, Erica’s father when he was alive had been one of Brown’s best friends and the relationship had traveled onto his daughter.
“Hey Brown, sorry I’ve been a bit busy with mom being sick again, besides today’s my seventeenth birthday after all.” She told him with a smile as he walked over to where she had taken a seat and leaned against the counter. “I just stop in because a man by the name of William Pendrey challenged me to an archery contest. Apparently he’s staying here so he came to get his bow and arrows.”
Brown chuckled; this boy was in for something, “Well that should be interestin’, he’s going to be in for a sur- oh goodness, what happened tur your eyes?”
Erica shrugged helplessly, “I honestly don’t know Brown, it just happened today, I was out in the forest by myself. I wandered deep into the western part of the forest and I stumbled across a pool of water, then when I looked into a small pool of water and my eye was suddenly green. Creepy right?”
“Evil stays there; you shouldn’t go back ta that place Erica.” Brown told her as he completed the sign against evil by making the cross. Brown was very superstitious, and to him the sign signified pushing the evil out of your heart.
“Trust me I couldn’t find my way back to that place even if I wanted too, which I don’t.” Erica told him seriously, nodding her head vehemently. Then Will came trotting down the stairs a bow slung over his shoulder and his quiver in hand.
“Sorry for taking so long I couldn’t find my quiver.” He paused, glancing back from Erica to Brown, “You two know each other?”
“Yes, my father and Mr. Brown were old friends, so I’m friends with him too, and I work a shift here serving tables sometimes.” Erica told Will with a smile. She worked the day shift every now and again; Brown didn’t mind if she took a few days off every now and again. He understood that she was the main provider of food for the family, and her mother often needed some extra care. He was very generous to the Jenson’s actually, and a great friend.
“Oh. I see.” Will said trying to mask his surprise, “Um… oh, is there some where we can go to shoot?”
“Yes actually, there is.” Erica replied, she grinned and tapped her nose knowingly at Brown. He smiled back and then turned to Will.
“Boy yu’ve no idea what yu’re in for.” Brown told Will seriously. This wasn’t the first time a man had challenged Erica to an archery contest because he though Erica’s bow was just for show. He grinned at the young man, “Have fun lad, cuz that’s all yu’re gonna get.”
Will raised his eyebrows skeptically, he was still a little doubtful that she could actually do much with her bow. “Uh huh.”
“Okay then, come on this way to the shooting range we can use.” Erica told Will with a grin, she winked conspiratorially at Brown, “See you later.”
Erica headed towards the back door, going through the kitchen. She paused a moment to greet some of her friends who worked in the kitchen, and skillfully evaded Brown’s kids who tried to rope her into playing hide and go seek with them. She was headed to an area out back of the Red Lady that Erica like to used for a shooting range. “Sorry about that. Anyways, it’s just a ways this way…. and here we are.”
It was just an open glade near the woods that was a little over seventy yard long, and maybe twenty wide. There was a target set up about fifty or so yards out, and the red bulls eye was just visible. There was only one target however so Erica and Will would have to take turns shooting at it.
“Simple,” Will said with a nod of his head, “What are the rules then?”
“One arrow each and the one closest to the bull’s eye wins.” Erica told him with a look that said ‘duh, what did you think it would be’?
By now word had spread through the tavern due to Brown letting others know and a small crowd had gathered outside. Erica glanced around; she hated crowds especially when they were watching her. Most of the people watching were men who were likely staying in the tavern and their wives and children. There were a few locals but they all knew how it would end, it was always the same. The men who didn’t know her eyed Erica weighing how good they thought that she would be, most of them looked at her speculatively. No surprises there, so she sent a distained smirk in their direction. Bets were placed on who would win, the locals of course would all bet on Erica winning. Erica curled her lip up in disgust. Men. No respect for the talent of the two competitors, only the amount of money they could make off of them.
“You can go first Will.” Erica said generously, it was generally the person who was challenged that went first, but Erica preferred to see how skilled her opponent was.
“Okay then.” Will replied with a confident smile as he took his bow off his shoulder and strung an arrow on it. The ground in the glade was quite level and the target was set firmly in the ground with nothing blocking the way. A relatively simple shot, of course this was all about accuracy not how simple the shot was.
Will drew his bow back to full draw, lifted it, carefully taking aim, setting his sights on the center of the target, and released.
The fact that you add minute details to your plot is beautiful and it blends in very well to your writing style. However, you used the different eye colour to spice up the story, which i suggest you change, It reminds me too much of Graceling. That's my opinion though and should not bother you seeing as that no one has commented about the simmilarities.
