Dear Noobcake by Xialburg (Updates Every Other Weekend)

[WhoLocked]

oh no! Beauty's moving!

[CanisCoyote]

oh mai I just read all the entries in two days O-O I love this! Oh, and:

Username: Shinrin Kitsune
Level of Lol (1 to 10): 10
Compliments: Love it! It is really well written and really funny.
Criticism: I don't think that I have any :3
Other: I LOVE THIS!!!

[ZombiePoodle]

Marking! This is so awesome!! Uh, I want moooar!

[Al the Dalek]

I've had a few stressful days with school and family, but I managed to drag this Noobcake deep from out of my soul. Funny. No matter how depressed I am before writing one, as I am writing the entry I get happy. Yay. And I'm surprised I didn't get so much hate mail about Beauty. One of my friendly friends actually said she was happy about it. Wut. Anyway, I am pretty sure I'm rambling now, so I now present to you your newest Noobcake.

Dear Noobcake,

So. Beauty's gone.
It blows.
It blows like a small pup cooling off soup.
Meaning ALL OVER THE PLACE.
You know, I understand what it does, cooling it off, but is it really necessary for those said pups (cough Junior cough) to blow off EVERYONE'S food too so they get their slobber all over the place?
Anyway.
Beauty is all left and stuff. It was really quite not fun. But if I write too much on it I'm going to be upset agian.
I DIDN'T CRY.
Okay. Maybe a little.
But I coped.
I coped by going out to eat with my remaining friends Gothie and Xanri.
We went to this amaze-tastic place that has just about the BIGGEST meals ever.
I really, really wanted the large order of pasta-stuff-whatever-with-a-big-freaking-name but it would be way too much for me. Especially since the small order is the size of um...I dunno.
A small puppy.
Xanri took a look at me and ordered it for everyone. You know, the large size.
Who knew?
That was supposed to be sarcasm Noobcake.
You fail at life. Or book life. Or whatever.
You're almost a fail whale.
Namely, a whailure.
So we got the big plate of big-name-of-delicious pasta-y goodness.
It arrived at our table and just about blew our minds with its bigness. I mean, seriously! I made a bad decision. The SMALL order could have fed I dunno...like elebenty of us.
"Dude," Gothie breathed. "It's so big it's almost got its own mind. I feel like its seeing into my soul."
I decided to play along. "Yeah I know, right? I can like...see into forever."
Gothie gave me a withering look. "This is no time for jokes, Wingman. This is serious business."
How can I tell if he's joking?
Seriously?
I keep hoping you're a magical book that can tell me the answers, but again you disappoint me.
Once again, you fail, and I am disappoint.
I am not sure how we managed to get through even half of that thing, but it was delicious.
And predictably, I was the one who had to pay for it.
Although, it was pretty cool since I got dibs on the leftovers.
Leftovers that look so beautiful in my fridge...
And now I'm thinking about Beauty again.
Oh, and I seriously need to put things that are more important in the beginning of my entries, Noobcake. I mean, importance is good. It catches my eye so I can see it when I reread it.
...I don't reread you. That's stupid and girly. Ha ha ha ha ha.
Okay. Serious business here. Serious.
SERIOUS.
Guess who just turned herself in?
Nah I bet you can't guess. You're just a Noobcake after all.
Ha ha ha. Who else? Who else has been haunting this diary...journal...thing...anyway...for a while now?
None other than
ABC
No just kidding. I wish.
Metallic.
I don't get it.
She's running around being all sneakery and stalkery and then she just goes POOF in prison again.
I don't...
Robot women are more confusing than real women sometimes.
Wait.
I just confused myself.
I don't...get...it...
I'm going to stop writing before i confuse myself anymore. Maybe Greenbutt stopped being a PIG and actually left some delicious snacks downstairs.
Like beef jerky.
Delicious, amazing beef lerky.
I mean jerky.
Why do I write in you with pen? It's stupid.
...oh yeah...it's the pen Beauty gave me for my birthday.
I'm sorry Mr. Pen I'll never insult you again.
Okay, seriously I'm ending this day's entry because things are getting weird.

See ya Noobcake

[Wild Mothman]

aw that's sad!

[MochaTheLlama]

Pure gold! whailure! WIN + whale = WHIN!!! :3

[CanisCoyote]

D= sad entry.. and Beef lerky That's funny.

[KittyKat7658]

Aww I like Metalic.

I'm sorry Mr. Pen I'll never insult you again.

Pure gold. XD

[BPeppers]

I... Miss... Beauty... Gah, Al, you went off and did it again! Grr... Dxxx
Just kidding.
I love this book.
Diary.
Thing.

[Al the Dalek]

Sorry fans, but I have been having some family issues and I can't get any inspiration to write. Noobcake is canceled for this week, but it might appear randomly before next Saturday. Sorry guys.