TheComfortCorner | V.9

[eeep]

who knew that dating would suck? cause i didnt. i am in so much pain rn lmao
im just scared that if me and my ex stop being "friends" if i can even call it that, that she would take my favorite person with her :\
they said that they preferred her before.. im scared lmao. i keep seeing stuff that my ex made about me.. that sucks a lot too. god, i tried to trust her with something, and then she went and told the person i didnt want to be told. i dont think i could trust her ever again. im temped to just.. stop talking to her at all. idk.. im really sad and my best friend is sleeping so i just gotta sit here and cry i guess. i hate this lmao.. i hate that i said i liked her back.. i really did it just.. i wasnt in love with her. it was just a crush.. but she acted like i was a goddess.. it was weird.. i didnt like it. i felt like i was being smothered when i was with her.. i couldnt even really talk to my best friend. im glad i broke it off, it just kinda sucks that it happened in the first place. i miss having her as a friend :\

[Electronia]

I can't stand to look at who I am as a person. Morally I see myself in a positive light, I suppose anything else in regards to whether or not one is a good person would be cause for concern. Otherwise, selfish, angry, cruel, aggressive, my personality profile turns to a more antagonistic shade.
This is an improvement from being anxious, but I still feel like I'm being laughed at by the very world that has left me behind.
I can't tell if I feel remourse or if I wish I could because then I might deserve change.

The amount I write when the topic is me is tomfoolery.

[RoxyTBDW]

i feel so broken and lost, i thought it would last forever. 6 months for nothing.

[Serious.]

Just need a place to vent, no responses please!

I'm so upset by the things I'm seeing online. I have a handful of mutuals I interact with regularly, and I genuinely enjoy talking with them! But lately the things they've been resharing have been very distressing. Causing fights or interacting with bait posts that only lead to me doomscrolling for the rest of the night.

Tonight it happened again. It dealt with a subject that's very personal to me - to the point that I was crying just by reading some of the comments.

It honestly feels like I'm middle school again when I see these teenagers gang up on someone who...used labels they didn't like? Giving a questioning LGBT person multiple death threats because they described themselves with two labels instead of one? And when people said "hey maybe you shouldn't be giving death threats for this, even if you might not agree with them," the responses are passive-aggressive or treat it as a joke or basically say "go touch grass who cares"

I don't want to lose hope in the next generation. Really, I don't want to look at these things at all. I want to spend my social media days gushing about cringey anime characters, not this. But there's not exactly a way to filter out these discussions...I don't want to use the mute button, but for my sanity, I think I'm going to have to.

[LittleBodyBigHeart]

i am learning to love myself and by doing that i must set boundaries with those i love. you took that as an attack, which is not my problem. i was as nice and understanding and as patient as i could have been, and it's disappointing that i couldn't get the same basic respect back. you had nothing left to say, so you resorted to insults and hatred - that is so incredibly low, and you really knew how to hit me where it hurts the most. and though it hurts, i will not let this derail me.

i am done bending over backwards to please everyone; its time i look after myself and what's best for me and my mental health. i will lose people in the process, and that is completely fine. those people are not worth my time and energy. keeping people in my life who cannot see my growth and progress is what has stopped me from growing all these years. i refuse to have more leeches in my life. i don't care how lonely or sad i get, i will not settle for just anything anymore.

all i ever asked from you was to spend more time with me, because we were friends, and friends do that right? but no, according to you we were never friends, which would have been nice to know 6 years ago. though, you were never great at communication anyway, so maybe i was asking too much from you.

i am a person who is worthy of love and support, and i deserve to love and be loved by equally genuine souls. in time, i will get what i deserve - and so will you. i wish you well on your healing journey; seems you've got a ways to go yet.

[stellulite]

maybe one day I can escape from only being recognized as a woman (":
maybe one day I won't be scared to express who I truly am
who knows

[viles]

• words are a lot right now, so im gonna try to simplify my vent.
  
  sad. watched community. i want what troy and abed have, but i know im inadequate. not smart enough to be abed, not kind enough to be troy. idk. i know even if i was exactly like either one of them i still wouldnt be able to have what they have bc its a tv show and not real. i just,, dkjfhkf. idk. it's too much for me to put into words at the moment.
  
  also im feeling some anxiety surrounding my autism diagnosis. i need to talk to someone about it but i just,, idk. i wish i had never left my first therapist

[basil!]

this isnt even realy a complaint i just sometimes think of like a specific phrase that i realy want to tell someone because it sounds good in my head like it has a good shape when i think it so i want to share it yk
that phrase right now is "i be living off decongestant sprays and cough drops" (because i have a cold, in spring, somehow)

[pandaa]

mental health rn is feeling like the mitski scream again wuhwoh

[alleyway]

I want to love you and you love me. I want to rush everything and spend the rest of our lives together. I know you'll abandon me but I'll wait till you do.