by SugarKats » Mon Jun 17, 2019 4:21 am
Dear C.A.,
You represent all I have unaffected scorn for. You don't care about your marks in school, make racist and sexist jokes, and are in general, sort of a bigot. But there's just something unmistakably present in you, that sets you apart from everyone else.
When you talk to me, it feels like we are the only two in the room. Going out of your way, for example by leaning past a friend sitting in the middle, to make eye contact and speak face to face. It feels as if I'm somehow remotely special to you, although I'm sure you definitely don't really view me in any sort of way.
I know I have no chance at all with you, yet I still have this glimmer of hopeless hope whenever we call, or text, or meet up for a quick chat outside your house (how lucky am I, to be in your neighbourhood).
It doesn't help that you're really quite handsome. You worry when your hair is messy but honestly, you look even cuter when it's all fluffed like that.
I was worried when you asked me to help you with your essay; I'm used to being used by my crushes (even though I never confessed) for their schoolwork. But we called, and I walked you through writing a better essay. You thanked me and I did not, in fact, do all of the work, so that's already something different about you. Besides, after the essay, we celebrated by playing another game of League together. We lost but you never cursed me out (despite my very rusty skills).
You're not religious but before saying goodnight you said: "God bless you".
Do I feel used? Perhaps slightly, but hey, this is an icebreaker for us to be friends rather than acquaintances. And, you gave me your number, so I'm a little bit ahead of most people with crushes if you think about it. : )
Sincerely,
Kat
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