TheComfortCorner | V.8

[cornspurrd.]

sometimes the fact that I rely on a dog to keep me alive drags me down. I wish I where independent,
I wish i could live my life without him by my side.
I'm so grateful for him.
But i wish I didn't need him.


I also miss my friends a lot.
I don't have but one friend left.
And obviously she can't always be there.

[ghostbite]

I'm done with this.

[Wings.mov]

So, I had a dream last night where I woke up over and over again. You know those right? Normally really scary, yeah. I had one of those last night, nothing happened, but I was so utterly terrified something would happen that I wouldn't leave my room in the dream. All I did was walk to the window and look out of it, but I couldn't see outside since I was watching from the side like it was a movie. My mom was screaming at my brother right outside my door but I heard him laugh so I don't know. I woke up in the dream or for real and feel asleep because I was so tired and the same exact dream happened. When I woke up for real I thought even 'waking up' from the dream was so hard and I wasn't even me in the dream. I was just watching, it never felt like I was actually in my body. In this dream nothing happened, but it made me realize how terrified I am to dream. I've had so many dreams and I'll talk about it in a minute but when I realized it it was such a shock. I never thought about it like that. I stay up late but maybe thats not because I'm on the computer but maybe its because im scared. Maybe my subconscious know that most of the time sleep=terror. So my dreams, they're always scary normally. The only good dream I've had in the last 2 years was a few weeks ago and I was so overjoyed I had a happy dream for once. Because normally when I dream I'm like a ghost. I know I'm dreaming for second then I forget but in that second all I can think is, "No, please, not again." I'll talk about some of my more memorable dreams. I never call them nightmares, I just realized, because all my dreams are nightmares. Anyway, here goes, they're scary so warning I guess...

One of my most memorable dreams was this one. It really marked the beginning of these nightmares if I remember. So I was maid at an old house with another girl with curly brown hair. This girl is in all my dreams it feels like, maybe it's just the hair. We'll call her Margaret for the sake of story telling. So we both worked for this old lady and that was that. But 'time lapse' I guess and I'm sitting next to one of my teachers and he's talking to the lady I work for. She leaves the room for some reason and my teacher turns to me and says, "We need to get you out of here." So we escape with ease. 'Time lapse' and we're at the front door of the house, trying to get to Margaret. Inside... She's screaming my name. Calling out in agony, begging me to help her, to save her. The door magically unlocked and when I open the door I wake up. I never got to save her, I just realized I let Margaret down. I'm about to cry over failing a figment of my imagination. Okay, okay, next story...

Th next one, I'm in a giant what I think was I can only describe as an office building. The whole floor is cleaned out and has no rooms or anything in it, just me and the group of people I'm with. We had to stay in the building or we'd die. A group of the people, led by someone who had the same hair as Margaret but I don't think... hope... it was her. They left to get like Starbucks or something and they were coming back, I could see them walking back. They were so close to getting back safe but then a line of cars, trucks, etc. came by and shot them all until they were all dead. That's all I remember...

This next one took place in a field with a giant oak-like tree in the middle. Me and what I guess are the same group of people had to run across the field, and so we did. But in the tree. In the tree... there were those things from Mazerunners, the metal balls that cut off your head, those. They were in the tree and I tried to tell people but it was too late, people were already getting killed. I didn't see who but I know it happened. I just ran toward the treeline on the opposite end of the field. Right before I made it I woke up.

I don't know what's wrong with me. What's is wrong with me?? Why is Margaret always there? She looks like people I know, the hair I mean since I never remeber/see the face. She looks so much like my old best friend Brooke and my friend Carly from camp, bith from where I used to live. It could just be a conicidence, it prbably is. Why are these my dreams? Aren't dreams the last thing you think about before falling alseep? Why in the hell am I thinking of these stuff??? Dreams are either trying to tell you something or It's nothing. Am I crazy? What us wrong with me?? The first dream, the window one, was after my friend online stopped resonding to me. I'm so scared for her, she said her mental health wasnt the best, and It's been weeks. I try to stay happy and hope she's just mad at me for not responding but what if she never responds to me again? What if I let her down? What if she's gone and if I just resonded she'd still be talking to me??? I don;t have any idea why the others happened. Maybe I'm going insane. Whats wrong with me? I'm so scared. What's wrong with me

The thing is, I never cry when I wake up from these things. I never feel anything. Never sweaty, never nervous to sleep again. I just fall asleep again. Maybe I'm a monster. Maybe I'm f---ing insane. Maybe I'm a sociopath. Maybe I'm crazy. Maybe I'm overreacting but now that I think about these horrible dreams I'm bawling my eyes out and think I'm going to turn into a psychopath but never when they actually happen. Never when they feel so real. I also been angry all day for no reason. I don't know if it matters but I've been so snappish all day long.

Someone tell me if this is too gory, I understand. I'll take it down. This is stupid anyway

[SolsticeTheBanana]

i want to save you. i want to know you. i want to show you that you are wonderful. you are amazing. you are loved by me and by everyone you know.

when I was younger I used to watch you. i watched you while you where standing alone. so alone.
i didnt know what to do. how to help you. i thought that i could never help you. i am way to young to help you, right?
but you told me those things in your head. they sound just like him. everything you told me in that lonely corner of that lonely room. it all sounds like me. and you were so.... so much like me from the start. i just didn’t realize it. not until now. and now I don’t know what to do.
i am so upset. your mind is my mind... why don’t I know how to help you fix it? why won’t you let me save you? why are you so much like me? why do you have to be silent like me. why do you have to want to die like I did? why do you lie like i did? why are you shallow like i am? why do you see the same worthlessness, hopelessness in your life that some nights still comes back to haunt me. why do you let others try to help you and say it helps when i swear to you I know it doesn’t. i know because i did the same things. why do you hurt yourself like i did? why do you love it and hate it like i did?
Why when I look at you do I see who I used to be standing right in front of me. But this time I see it from outside my mind. I see it from the point of view with hope. I never thought, in all these years I’ve known you that I, Being so much younger than you, could have learned to live above our same demons before you did. and now I’m trying to save you. please talk to me.
Every time i ask you all you say is “mmk” or “I don’t know” or “...” and I write you paragraphs. I ask you questions. The same ones I know I needed to be asked when I was dealing with what you’re dealing with. And I try to understand but I don’t know.

I know we have something special. I know. We always have. You and me. I’ve never seen you treat any of them like you treat me. So please talk to me. I might just be the only one who’s not going to give up. Please talk to me. I value your life. I love you so so so much and more. I’ve always looked up to you and I trust you. Please trust me.

Please trust me because I know what your going through more than you think. Please trust me because I can’t handle seeing the parts of me that I’ve tried so hard to bury starting out of your eyes each time I look at you.

God I love you. I really, really do. And I know none of them ever tell you that. But I have. Believe it and stay here with me, believe you’re loved and stay here with me. God I am begging you, stay here and speak to me, stay here and I will never ever leave you. I’ll never ever leave you because you are me.

youre so much like me. I never realized how hard I am to deal with. I never realized how I hurt all of you until I see what i did reflected in you....

IDONTKNOWHOWTOSAVEYOU!IDONTKNOWHOWTOSAVEANYONE!ICOULDNTSAVEMYSELF....
so...... how... the hell... do I save.... you...?

[- Alice -]

kinda feeling worthless right now... i just spent a good two hours on a peice of art and no one likes it. What the heck is the point in flipping trying. I honestly give up ill never be any good

[alleyway]

had a bad night the other night and was crying, my rat tried to comfort me by licking my tears but now I believe I have pink eye

[dakotapaws]

im on a downslope of depression. theres no one there for me. nobody to talk to. i cant even vent because theres not really anything worth venting about. i guess ill be okay eventually. but today has really been awful.

[Mooshidog]

I'm having so much anixety about school starting and it's unreal.
I can't sleep because of it.

[sillies]

just having a wave of depression tonight ://
today was just beyond stressful

we had to take my grandpa to the ER cos he nearly collapsed
and THEN i found out my sister has now run away TWICE from her adoptive parents
and i haven't heard from my mother - im afraid she's doing the things that destroyed
her life again and i dont want to have to cut her out of my life because of it

://

anyway imma reply to a few people now that im done w my little vent!

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I'm having so much anixety about school starting and it's unreal.
I can't sleep because of it.


Having anxiety about school is natural, you're nervous about starting something new (like a new year or semester). And I'm sorry you can't sleep at night! I get how that can be. What I like doing to help me sleep is put on lofi music, turn out the lights and just focus on something that helps ease my anxiety and eventually, I do fall asleep. If that doesn't work for you then I'm sorry ahead of time.

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im on a downslope of depression. theres no one there for me. nobody to talk to. i cant even vent because theres not really anything worth venting about. i guess ill be okay eventually. but today has really been awful.



I too feel that I am on a downslope of depression. but there are people out there who will listen. to talk to. and yeah, you will be okay eventually. just remember how important self care is when you have depression/episodes of depression. self care really helps; i know self care can be hard but go wash your face or take your meds or go brush your hair or take that shower! you can power through this!

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[size=85]had a bad night the other night and was crying, my rat tried to comfort me by licking my tears but now I believe I have pink eye :roll:



gosh im so sorry about your pink eye! if you haven't already try and get to a doctor asap! its comforting to know that your pets care about you, though.

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kinda feeling worthless right now... i just spent a good two hours on a peice of art and no one likes it. What the heck is the point in flipping trying. I honestly give up ill never be any good



I know this feeling real well, man. It's not the best, that's for sure. But there is point in trying ! Trying is practice and practice makes perfect. I'm finally at a point where I think my art is good; but it took a lot of practice. Be persistent and keep trying and people will like your art! Sometimes it just takes a little work.

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if anyone wants to PM me, feel free! I'm always open to listen and possibly give advice or w/e ![/size]

[Valac]

She has developed two more lumps on her chest. My family assures me it is nothing but I can't help but worry that they're cancerous. Watching my first dog die from cancer was painful, for me and my dog. I don't want her to go through this. I want her to be okay. I'm not ready to loose her.