➷ 「❝ Haise Sasaki ❞」➶ by VixenGlass

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➷ 「❝ Haise Sasaki ❞」➶

Postby VixenGlass » Sun Sep 30, 2018 5:46 am

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Image
name; Haise Sasaki {Hi-suh} {sa-sa-key} || gender; male
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basics wrote:
nickname; Haise // Mr. Sasaki
age; 24 in human years
birthday; 9/28
orientation; straight
height; 5'9 from tip of ear
weight; 213 lbs
likes; work - vintage books - horror movies - volunteering - honey coffee
dislikes; gum - the heat - liars - being alone - not knowing
+ traits; alert - calm - balanced - cheerful - flexible
- traits; addictive - over apologetic - controlling - foolish - self destructive
quirks; collects change - can only write in cursive
habits; holds chin when lying - ears fold back when thinking about lover
disorders; residual schizophrenia - ptsd - random blackouts
occupation; crime scene investigator
quote; And if death was coming for you, I'd give my life for you❞
And if you're still breathing, you're the lucky ones
'Cause most of us are heaving through corrupted lungs❞
personality
❝ I'm just so afraid of... being alone.. ❞ Ever since Haise has been a viscetling, he's been terrified of being left alone with the voice inside of his head. He thought; 'maybe if I surround myself with people, it'll go away', however, that was never the case. That voice was still there. He was so fearful his entire childhood, and this affected him as an adult. Everyday, he thinks about how missed out on being a normal kid because of his disorders. He was often bullied, and harassed by other kids because he wasn't understood (they would usually put gum in his hair). And now, because of it, Haise tends to cover up how he is truly feeling with a false sense of security, and a smile. He doesn't like it when others worry for him, so he pretends to be ok. Unfortunately, he's bad lair, and many see right through that fake smile. He gets incredibility uncomfortable when questioned about how he is truly feeling. He doesn't like to open up since he's spent his whole life bottling his emotions. Haise doesn't like to talk about himself, and instead, loves getting to know other people. He's very interested in people's lives; their experiences, fears, hopes, etc. He's always been intrigued by how everyone lives a different life, and understands things differently. He loves getting close with people, and doesn't mind if they rant, complain, or tell him their problems, Haise just loves listening. He often day dreams about how his life could of been different without his disorders. How could it of been different to be a normal kid? Not having to worry about being taken over but some unknown force? And that is why he loves hearing about other people and their lives, to almost feel what it would be like, and this led to Haise's career choice to become a crime investigator. The thought of helping other people who couldn't help themselves just made him happy. Now, every time he solves a crime, he feels like some kind of hero, because he knows he helped someone who needed it most. However, the voice inside of his head, doesn't like helping, or any sort of good, and is the polar opposite of Haise. At least once a day, out of no where, his mind is overcome but this voice, It causes him to have illogical thoughts, hallucinations, and even body aches. When the voice takes over, It appears to be a physical person despite the fact that it's only in his head. When it appears, it often latches itself onto Haise, and whispers things in his ear, telling him what to do, telling him to act out, to destroy everything he loves. If Haise talks back to this voice, it often will start screaming, and surround Haise, leaving him in a pitch, black, empty space. This can last up to three hours before it finally goes away. Fortunately, he usually has these episodes at home, and rarely at work or in public. If it does occur in public, from other's perspective, he is seen holding his head, eyes wide, yelling to himself "No!", "Stop, please!!", "Get out of my head!". And all people can do is just watch. They can't help him until it's over, and once it is, Haise feels extremely guilty, and apologizes far more than necessary, and will feel bad about the incident for up to a week. He's incredibly grateful that his people and his coworkers put up with him, and he would go as far to call them his family. As a viscetling, his parents never believed him when he told them he had a voice inside of his head. They would just discard it, telling him it was nothing. This truly hurt Haise, because he knew something was wrong with him, and he couldn't get help because nobody believed, or really wanted to help him. As he got older, his schizophrenia got worse, and branched out into another disorder. When he was about 16 or 17 (in human years) he started to have random blackouts, where out of nowhere, he would blackout, but still function. Haise never speaks during these blackouts, but still functions normally. When he goes into this state of being, it's that same voice inside his head that takes over.
i'm so sorry for this... please forgive me... i'll do anything... wrote:Image
While like this, he could do anything from simply getting food from the fridge, to destroying Haise's work so when he returns to normal, everything would be screwed up. There is no time limit on this, for it could last 3 minutes, or 3 hours, and when Haise comes out of the blackout, he has absolutely no memory of what happened, and sometimes, he wouldn't even know it happened unless there was some sort of evidence left. The only way to tell when he is blacked out, is if you try to talk to him, and he gives no response, or if he has a look of emptiness in his eyes. This can happen to him at anytime of day, as many times a day. Many of his friends are concerned for his well being, since he refuses to see a doctor, insisting that he's fine and doesn't need help. Sometimes, he gets in arguments with his friends. They tell him he has no reason to stay away from a doctor. His reply is always the same; "I'm fine... don't worry about me." But the truth is... he's scared. He's spent his whole life living like this, and he's petrified of living a normal life. He's gotten so used to that voice, and he's unsure how he would react if it suddenly went away. He believes it's just better to live the way he always lived, instead of a sudden change. He's scared to become a different person. He'd rather just live the life he's always had, and some kind of knowledge of what might come. Besides living like this, he's quite a cheerful person, and sometimes can even be childish at times. He loves his life; his friends, coworkers, and everything else in his in it. He wouldn't change it for the world.

work
(minor gore warning) ❝ I want to help, I want to do everything I can to change things ❞ Haise decided to become a crime scene investigator when he was very little. It was a rainy night, he was home alone, sitting on the dirty carpet floor, watching Law and Order on the TV. He was so memorized by the investigators and their ability to help people and make a difference. At that moment, he knew he wanted to be a crime scene investigator. He went to school and worked as hard he could despite his mental illness. He took lots of different forensic classes and passed college with flying colors. After he got out of college, he couldn't wait to leave his home, Sisters Oregon. He didn't have anything here; no friends, no family, nothing. All he had was the fact that he was known as "the viscet with schizophrenia". He couldn't wait to leave all of that behind. About a year after getting his degrees, he decided to move to St. Louis Missouri, because of the high crime rate. When he first moved there, he didn't have a problem getting the job and started out as an officer. Over the course of many years, he finally moved up to Lead investigator and is in charge of most cases. He's met so many people through this job and loves all of his coworkers, however, he has experienced tough things through this job, and he even lost his last partner, who died in his arms while they were trying to solve a murder case. They'd been on the hunt for this serial killer for months, and finally had a break in the case. Haise and his partner were visiting the crime scene to pick up details that were apparently missed before. Little did they know that the murderer was right outside of the house, waiting for them. Right before they were going to leave, the killer aimed his gun through the window and fired. Haise's partner collapsed to the ground, her muzzle spouting with blood. Haise rushed over to her, his eyes large, not knowing what to do. She was somehow still alive but was severely bleeding. "Oh please god! Oh god no, please, this can't be happening!" Were the only words Haise could make out. "Don't beg for God's help" Scoffed the Viscet. "I've done my share, my time here is over"
don't worry about me... what's going on with you?... wrote:Image
Haise gave a look of pleading as tears fell from his face to hers. "Try not to mourn too much, eh? I want you to stay happy." She smiled, despite the utter pain she was feeling. "You're not leaving, don't say that!" Haise yelled, his voice filled with anger, his fur standing on end. She closed her eyes and went limp. Haise let out a small gasp of surprise, before realizing she was gone. He sat there, speechless for a moment before throwing his head back and letting out a blood-curdling scream, enough to make someone's heart drop. He sat there sopping, gasping for air after each cry. Flashing blue and red lights started to emit the room, but Haise ignored it, he held her in his arms, close to his heart, continuously sobbing. Police kicked down the door, they were prepared to fight but came upon the scene of Haise hunching over his partner's dead body in a pool of blood. He turned around and gave the police a look of emptiness. One of the officers recognized Haise, and went to his side. "Haise... What happened?" The officer asked, kneeling down. Haise couldn't even talk, all he could he let out was some kind of whimper. After that, the night was a blur. Apparently, someone had heard the gunshots and called the police. Only if they had arrived sooner. Haise's partner would still be here. For months, he was still devastated, the pain devouring him every day. He felt as if her death was his fault. The thought of what he could have done to save her life was constantly running through his head. People would ask how he was feeling, and he would just try to change the subject, and during this time, that stupid voice inside his head was louder than ever, constantly bashing him for what could have done. It yells in his ear about how worthless he is, and how it should have been him the one shot. During this time, Haise thought he would never feel happy again. But, time was able to heal his wounds and turn them into only scars. The voice slowly died down back to normal, and Haise started feeling his happy self once again. He spent time with friends and was more open to going out and being social instead of locking himself up. He thriving more at work as well, but would not be getting a new partner until he decided when the time was right. Working alone was difficult, but he managed and knew it was for the best anyways. He wouldn't be able to handle another partner for a while. He continued to solve cases, and live his life the way it used to be. He loves helping people and solving cases. He's so grateful to have his job, and is truly happy.

history
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you're pathetic.. just shut up and give in.. wrote:Image
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relationships
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I don't want to hurt you wrote:Image
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