uchuujln wrote:Hi! I was here in late May/ early June and got some nice help, so I'm back again. ;u;
I bought a new dog from a shelter 6 days ago in the hopes that a new dog would help me move on from the death of my last dog...It's really not working out, though. The new dog (let's call him... Jake) barks a ton when he's left alone, bites when I try to play with him, and acts as if he doesn't really like me since I've been somewhat uptight when I try to deal with him. He's about a year old and big enough that the biting really hurts, and the barking is so loud...
Jake barks constantly. Since we can't trust him to roam around the house alone (he's not fully potty-trained and still chews on random items), we tend to leave him on a long leash in a dog-proof room where he can be monitored. Of course, sometimes we have to leave him alone in the room, but as soon as he can't see us anymore, he starts barking. And it's LOUD. I have an unending headache from all the noise he makes...
I've tried rewarding him for silence, giving him toys to play with and fresh food and water, even made one of those puzzle toys where he shakes it or pushes it around and food falls out... nothing helps. Every time he's left alone, he just barks. He also barks at and tries to chase other dogs, people, and any other animal in view... He's already yanked the leash out of my hand to chase a cat, and it hurt. A neighbor was nice enough to teach me how to properly walk him with a harness, but he still pulls at things and never listens when I tell him to sit or heel (but he listened to the neighbors perfectly fine...?).
As for the biting, he does it any time he wants to start playing or after I pet him for a while. I've heard that you're supposed to yelp or say "ow" loudly or really do anything to indicate to him that it hurts when he bites, then stop playing with him if he keeps biting. I've been doing that... any audible response I give him just excites him further and makes him bite harder, whereas ending the play and ignoring him or walking away just makes him start barking. The combination of sharp adult teeth bruising me and barking right next to me just irritates me so much that I don't even want to play with him anymore.
Maybe I'm imagining it, but it seems like Jake prefers the company of other people over me. That really feels awful, since he's supposed to be my dog... I guess he just sees me as strict and unfriendly which is kinda fair, but it's so hard to be lively and upbeat around a dog who frustrates me so much... I've cried consistently over the last couple of days because dealing with Jake is hard. I've come to the point where I'm just leaving him in a different room and try to avoid being seen or heard by him. Put simply, none of my other dogs had a biting or barking problem, so this is more than I can deal with. I can't bond with him like this. Neither of us are happy.
My mom offered to take him back to the shelter. I don't want to make him go back to shelter life and not know if he finds a good family or if he dies in there. He's a good dog even with all of his issues and I genuinely want him to be happy, but I definitely don't think he'll be happy with me. I'm certainly not happy with him, at least.
I don't know where to go from here. It's only been 6 days, and maybe he'll grow out of these issues and we can start being friends, maybe I just need to give it some time, but I don't know if I have enough patience or sanity to sit this out and wait to see what happens. Should I just let him go back to the shelter? Should I find him a good family myself? Should I keep trying and hope things get better???
Any advice at all is appreciated. ;-;
6 days isn't enough time for a dog to settle into a new household so with time and effort his behavior may change. Whether you are willing & able to help him work through that is up to you. Since you're concerned about returning him to the shelter if you feel you do need to rehome him consider offering to foster him, either through the shelter or another rescue group.
Since you're so stressed out right now I would highly recommend getting the help of a qualified trainer and/or behaviorist so you're not going through it alone. Make sure they only use positive reinforcement training as punitive methods can make problems worse and damage the relationship with your dog.
Barking: This sounds like it could be isolation distress or separation anxiety. It's good you're ignoring the barking for attention and rewarding the quiet behavior. I suggest earplugs, and no, I'm not joking. The puzzle toys are good, but are only what you've trained them to be...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LwZI1isnvPQ At this point I don't recommend feeding him in a bowl. He should only be getting food out of puzzle toys or through training. If he's still not going for the puzzle toys and you've increased his exercise (a tired dog is a good dog) it might be time to talk to a vet about his stress level at being left alone. Here's some more vids...
Alone Training
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGxhcb-itO4Separation Anxiety
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GqPQKLh883sBiting: I'd stop with the noises. It works for some dogs but for others it just makes you sound like a squeaky toy. Walk away and make sure he has a variety of other things to chew on. Also here's a training video to help you out....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c77--cCHPyUAs far as him not liking you, it sounds like you don't like him right now either and he is likely picking up on that. You need to grieve for your other dog and he may not be the one to help you do that. That may mean a bereavement class, volunteering at the shelter, hosting a bake sale for a charity, or making a donation in your late dog's name. Try some relaxation CDs, take a yoga class, a walk by yourself, a bubble bath, whatever you need to do to take care of yourself right now. In the end if you can't take care of your dog's human (you) you won't be able to take care of him. Obviously this will take time, but try to remind yourself not to compare this dog with your late dog. He's an individual and deserves to be treated as such, even if in the end it turns out that's with someone else. If in the end he's not the right fit for you, that's okay. Just take a deep breath and try to help him adjust to life in a home as best you can so that even if you decide to not keep him, at least you've set him up for success in his next home as much as possible.