LOC Event || The Oasis || Event Lions

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Re: LOC Event || The Oasis || Event Lions

Postby ThatDragonAdara » Thu Mar 01, 2018 3:53 pm

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|| #3 Designed by Pengu. ||Gender - Male || Element - Ice & Death || Rank - Orb Sentinel ||
|| Username - ThatDragonAdara ||
|| Name - Adelram (Noble Raven) ||



Personality -
(Lawful Good) Strict, Loyal, Judgmental, Confident, Stubborn, Wise, Calculating.

Adelram is a lion that few forget meeting. His very presence within a room is enough to make even a high ranking general shiver, yet it is always just subtle enough to drive away distracted stares or offhand comments. His captivating gaze and rich voice both sooth and unnerve those around him whenever he speaks, and his flowing liquid mane gives him a general aura of splendor.
If another lion were to describe him in only a few words, I am sure that they would say "Eerily calm". In fact, many of his closest friends and allies have compared him to the two elements he has power over; Ice, and Death. Some say that he reminds them of a frozen lake; how beautiful and calm it may appear, but how easily it can trap and drown you within it's cold and unforgiving judgement.


History -
Adelram was not always as calm and calculated as he is now. In fact, when he was younger, he was quite egotistical. He would regularly boast about his ability to conquer death, and demonstrate his power over ice by creating large pillars of frozen water that would stretch toward the sky.
It was not long before he had assembled a bombastic group of friends, who would run amok throughout the oasis and make mischief. Each were gifted in their magical abilities; one controlled fire, another one sand, and the other had power over air itself. But to Adelram, none of these friends could ever be as powerful as he was. For he was the special one; the only lion in the group with two elements instead of one. He boasted and bragged to his friends day in and day out, until one of them finally said what had been on their mind for many years. "You're selfish Adelram. You're a selfish, egotistical idiot who doesn't even realize that we are the only lions in the entire Oasis that see what little good there is in you. "
This statement caused a rift in the friendship. A spiteful rivalry between the friends that made Adelram the lion he is today.
Upon hearing this remark Adelram immediately disowned the friend. He refused to believe that anyone could be so bold as to call him an idiot. He cut off all communication between them, and a void formed in his life that he attempted to fill with anger and denial.
But it didn't work. His world became a mixture of loss and rivalry as he and this so-called 'friend' each attempted to win the favor of their peers. Every moment that Adelram was not showing off he was sure that his rival was gaining adoring fans, and yet he seemed to be loosing more and more by the second. His jealousy grew until he was sure that there was only one way that he could end the conflict.
In a once-and-for-all attempt at fame, Adelram forced his enemy into a magical showdown in front of dozens of onlooking lions; and in front of a member of the Oasis Counsel. The battle was short and hard fought, but despite his best efforts, Adelram was defeated. (Wip)


Years later, Adelram reached the age of near adulthood, and was sent out on a journey away from the oasis, called 'The Dawning of Light'. It was at this time when he met the rival lion again. They had become quite the sensation within the Oasis,


'First day as a sentinel'

Extras -
Art! I will be putting art here!


Massive wip!
(PS if you don't think this guy would make a good Orb Sentinel, I am completely fine with him being a Counsel Sentinel! I just wanted to challenge my writing a bit by making his rank a bit more extreme.)
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♢ She/Her, They/Them ♢
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Re: LOC Event || The Oasis || Event Lions

Postby starry--knight » Sat Mar 10, 2018 11:45 am

Friendly reminder that all extras need to be added by tonight at Midnight MST - you can still edit your forms past this point, but cannot add any new extras after tonight. You can only edit what is posted on your form tonight and onward!
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Re: LOC Event || The Oasis || Event Lions

Postby starry--knight » Sat Mar 10, 2018 5:54 pm

1 Hour until Writing extra sections of your form must be added - even if not 100% complete
You have until the last day to add art!
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Re: LOC Event || The Oasis || Event Lions

Postby starry--knight » Mon Mar 12, 2018 6:46 am

This competition closes tomorrow MIDNIGHT MST!
Please make you finishing touches and have everything complete by then!

Thank you all for participating and thank you for joining us on this next journey in loc!
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Re: LOC Event || The Oasis || Event Lions

Postby starry--knight » Tue Mar 13, 2018 6:42 pm

20 minutes until this officially closes! Any edits made after Midnight MST will not be allowed, so finish up all last minute details!
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Re: LOC Event || The Oasis || Event Lions

Postby starry--knight » Tue Mar 13, 2018 7:01 pm

This competition is now CLOSED - Editing your forms past this point may result in a DQ. Thank you all for participating! And Good luck!
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My Lions (L.O.C.)
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Re: LOC Event || The Oasis || Event Lions

Postby Pengu. » Thu Mar 15, 2018 12:19 pm

Judging for my forms was completed last night but due to work had to wait until today to post.
If the desc. doesn't make sense I apologize I was exhausted from working a 12 hour shift, so if you wanna message me about something that is totally fine.

Congrats to the winners - don't take the constructive criticism personally~

#2 - Female Color & Light Oasis Knight

Winner: Stonefly with Talibah

Personality was very well written and concise and all traits flowed perfectly with one another. Would have liked the history to show more interaction with her character and the Oasis and felt it focused much on the past before the Oasis rather than her daily interactions, relationships, and life in the present. The Oasis is so full of possibilities now and you didn’t seem to take the opportunity to let those thing shine through in the form. If anything, a suggestion is to add and flesh out the time between her first steps into the Oasis and the death of her mate and how her life changed from being from Lochren to now being immortal in the Oasis. Also perhaps more on the death of her children and the reality her mate did not want the same things as she, and how those aspects changed her for better or for worse.


#3 - Male Ice & Death Oasis Sentinel

Winner: Keen with Malachi
For personality, I like to see how each individual characteristic of the description interacts with one another rather than speaking about them in separate sections - but its a personal preference and not a fault. One thing that stood out as slightly contradictory was "Vain" coupled with "Capacity for Love". I take vanity as “excessive value of oneself over that of others” and that to me would make it seem hard for them to value and love other lions more than themselves, as you have stated he does with those he is close to. Not saying he cannot - just perhaps a different description of the paragraph of "Vanity" would be better. In the history section it was hard to grasp this capacity for love with the lions he seemed to interact with the most so that part of his personality didn't really show in the form, so that fell a bit flat for me. Close-minded also contradicted a bit with being daring. A narrow outlook on life usually doesn’t go alongside someone willing to take risks and opportunities - but again that is just how I see things.

Small and not entirely important tidbit, you had called the Lake of Eternity the Lake of Immortality so perhaps brushing up on main lore a tad with the proper names of things and locations.

Also would like to see more of the travels outside of the Oasis lands and how those shaped him from cub hood to adulthood. Felt it focused too much on the ties with the raffle lion’s plot and the romance aspect of between Naja and Malachi that it lacked in personal development with the lion you were trying to win.


#9 - Female Tar Oasis General

Winner: demonthief. with Aofie

Her physical and emotional description is exactly how I had imagined the design to look/act when I first designed her.
Would have liked to see more about her birth during the blood moon and how she survived on her own before the Oasis and coped with being a more “special” and unique lion in terms of her birth and the reasoning behind it as well as her personal feelings regarding that matter. Perhaps more on how she was accepted, or not accepted, into the Oasis considering her birth and more about how others saw her and how those stigmas shaped her character. More of her personal growth, feelings, and adaptations could have been added to the history to make it feel connected better to her personality. The history and personality were decent in their own right, separately. Together however I didn’t feel the personality shine through in the history as much as I would have liked to see, so there can be improvements in the future with form making in that aspect. But there isn’t anything I can truly fault with the form.


HM: AngelsRuin - 20 Tokens
Even though your form wasn’t finished there is potential I can see in the form making for future adoptions. The history would be a good summary but more depth is needed to truly explain why this character acts, feels, and is the way she is. Include things in the history that are personally important to the lions growth and shaping who they are. It needed some more in depth aspects. For personality, saying she was cold and unreceptive towards other lions all the while being concerned with offending them clashed with some other parts in the form.


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Re: LOC Event || The Oasis || Event Lions

Postby Vraska the Unseen » Sat Mar 17, 2018 3:43 pm

Okay everyone, the long awaited results for the adopts the respective artists aren't judging are in! If anyone wants crit on their forms please shoot myself, Starry, Mechanic, or Red Weasel a PM! We're happy to provide them!

1 has been won by Penultima with Hatshepsut! Congrats on your new lady!

4 Has been won by CCrow with Araru! Congrats on your new boy!

5 Has been won by Mechanic Drone. with Vanya! Congrats on your new lady!
But that's not all for number five! Naranda will be receiving a basic custom as a second place RU prize for this lady!
Chromium will be receiving 30 tokens as a third place RU prize!

6 Unfortunately, the other judges and myself deemed the only form this boy got wasn't quite up to par, he has no winner. He will go back UFA as a normal lion! Anyone may apply for him so long as they are not on cool down and have an open slot for normal lions! MEANING THEY WILL COUNT TOWARDS YOUR NORMAL LION SLOTS AND NOT AS AN EVENT LION!


7 This boy has been won by Alaric Glöckner with Ishnifus! Congrats on your new boy!

8 Unfortunately both entrants for this boy were disqualified due to deadline breaks, he has no winner. He will go back UFA as a normal lion! Anyone may apply for him so long as they are not on cool down and have an open slot for normal lions! MEANING THEY WILL COUNT TOWARDS YOUR NORMAL LION SLOTS AND NOT AS AN EVENT LION!

11 Unfortunately, the other judges and myself deemed the only form this girl got wasn't quite up to par, she has no winner. She will go back UFA as a normal lion! Anyone may apply for her so long as they are not on cool down and have an open slot for normal lions! MEANING THEY WILL COUNT TOWARDS YOUR NORMAL LION SLOTS AND NOT AS AN EVENT LION!

12 This lady had no completed forms. She will go back UFA as a normal lion! Anyone may apply for her so long as they are not on cool down and have an open slot for normal lions! MEANING THEY WILL COUNT TOWARDS YOUR NORMAL LION SLOTS AND NOT AS AN EVENT LION!

14 Has been won by [Missing] with Aharon! Congrats on your new lady!

15 Has been won by Squirrelspirit with Malvolia! Congrats on your new lady!
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Re: LOC Event || The Oasis || Event Lions

Postby Rohan. » Thu Mar 29, 2018 2:53 pm

Oh late.

As for the little lake cub. I will be giving this one to Mortikat. I am appreciative that you enjoyed my little siren cubbo. I strongly hope to see that she remains a cub for a long while, as is intended for the forever cub.
I would suggest for future competitions, to not rely so heavily on other competitors in the form though, as you never know if they will win as well or not and may end in wasted time and space in the form for a relationship that does not carry as strongly as an official character.
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Re: LOC Event || The Oasis || Event Lions

Postby Mortikat » Thu Mar 29, 2018 4:09 pm

<3 Thank you so much Ro <3
Signature under construction.... Hard hat required
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