by SunnyJustice » Sat Jan 07, 2017 9:39 pm
Gavotte sighed, thinking this over. He wanted to help, but he was the least competent fighter here. He had already described the demon, and although he could point out where the demon was using his echolocation, their opponent would be moving. Gavotte wasn't good for fighting either.
"I'll stay out of trouble. If I'm up there with you, you won't fight as well because you're too busy protecting me." He looked up into her eyes. "Do your best, okay?"
In a rare moment of boldness, he leaned up on his tiptoes and planted a chaste kiss on the corner of her mouth. Then he pulled away, smiling, and knelt beside Rowan.
"I will stay here. If you even whisper my name, I will hear you and come running," Gavotte promised. "You can all go. I'll make sure they're okay."
Rowan's natural instinct was always to obey. Ever since Alastair had taken over, the poor boy was so confused. He had never wanted to rebel, but it was impossible for him to side with the new crown. Rowan was torn between instinct and emotion, and it made him so disoriented on the inside.
This time, he went with instinct and listened to Gwen. He didn't let go of her, but he focused on letting himself relax into her embrace, as her otherworldly song seemed to wrap around him. It was so beautiful. Rowan could see his heartbeat slowing, he could literally see it in the way his light ebbed and surged. The rhythm of his heart gradually came to match the steady, soothing beat of Gwen's song.
"Thank you," he murmured drowsily. "Gwen... I need... I just need someone who will understand. Please..."
He thought back to the moment he killed the redheaded soldier. Every detail was crystal clear in his mind. The memory was back when he had a normal human's vision, meaning it was in color and not light. He remembered watching her relax as he placed his hand on her cheek, the same way Queen Solara did to her victims. He remembered the look of pain on the soldier's face, which melted into a contented smile as his healing power took effect -- minus the healing aspect. It had felt no different to her. The only difference was instead of healing, she had dissolved into a million flickers of light.
Jaai and Cyprian had been there, but both of them had gone away without a word. Lily had been by his side then. She had comforted him, but now she, too, was gone. Lily... Lily wasn't here anymore.
Rowan was all alone with his horrible, suffocating guilt. He was alone in the dark and he needed to reach out to a friend. A friend he trusted.
A friend like Gwen.
He imagined sending the memory from his mind to hers, along with his healing power that still flowed and illuminated her with light. He wished it was possible. Although if it wasn't, he would need to tell her eventually. It would be unfair to keep this knowledge from her. Rowan never, ever wanted to hurt anyone. He wouldn't be able to forgive himself if he murdered one of his friends because they didn't know what he could do.
He used to be completely innocent. Nothing in the world could have bothered him, or disturbed his perpetually optimistic mood. These days, he felt like an empty shell. Inside he was filled with the darkness that shrouded Alastair's cursed skies. Yet that darkness was less terrifying than the light he could create.
Rowan felt a tear slip down his cheek -- what had he become?