● GIFTED & TALENTED ●

[koumei]

↳♛ jang jae yoon (장재윤)● 16 ● main vocalist ● tagged: shuhang

Upon the bus' arrival, the thought comes to Jaeyoon that he was on time after all. ‘ wait, where'd shuhang go? ’ Jaeyoon soon found him on a bench, asleep after crying like he had done in the past. Jaeyoon lended Shuhang a hat to hide the remnants of his smudged eyeliner— which he'd definitely not want the others to see.

The bus was waiting, and Jaeyoon decided to carry Shuhang bridal style all the way to a seat on the right side near the middle of the bus, beside himself, ignoring some curious stares and knowing he'd done the right thing. It would've been a shame and a waste of time to wake him up, as sleep is a blissful thing and to be abruptly awoken would be an unpleasant experience.
In the long run, Jaeyoon thought, he'd always tried to do the right thing. His indecisiveness had tore him apart sometimes in the past, but pursuing a future career in music would definitely bring new experiences, whether they be good or bad. It was time to look forward to what was about to happen.

If he were alone, Jaeyoon would've shook his head at how unusually optimistic he was being. But he wasn't alone, and people would've surely thought it was weird.

Jaeyoon sighed, put his earbuds in, and started to play some music for the ride.

[yinsum]

↺ （ＳＯＮＧ ＳＨＵＨＡＮＧ！）
████████████████████████████████████████
main dancer, 16, bus, tags: jaeyoon

sleep is curled around his mind like a blanket, soft and blurry and warm. comforting. he can only see black in front of his eyes but some of the black is darker and it swirls like water down a drain, slow and steady. he is not scared of the dark— not this dark. this dark is the darkness of his mind, where he can open his eyes and see anything he wants to. this dark does not hold things like pain, or longing, or loneliness.

there is an image playing out in the swirls of the darkness— it’s another type of darkness, not the pitch black he likes but the blues and greys and blue-greys of his bedroom ceiling, where the streetlights cast shadows. one knee is tucked up to his chest, fingers clutched in the loose fabric of his sleep shirt— of zaijiang’s shirt, it’s the ugly drooping white one with the words ‘ go to sleep, dear ’ in a pink so deep it’s almost red. the one with the big coffee stain down the side, a patch as big as his palm splayed. it’s worn and old and the neckline has stretched from the times when zaijiang would play with it as he made beautiful music.

even though shuhang has zaijiang’s— jaeyoon, he thinks spitefully to himself. jaeyoon is his korean name. his real name—number blocked, there’s an album titled meili and a double heart (‘ 美丽 💕 ’). he can’t bring himself to delete it, and when his eyes refuse to close and the silence presses in and there isn’t a hand stroking through his hair to ward off all the thoughts; he plugs himself in, cups his hands around his chest, and pretends his heart is still there even when he knows it’s a million footsteps away, dangling from the fingers of a boy named jang jaeyoon (a boy named zhang zaijiang).


i’m fine without you. (why leave me?) i’m fine.
니가 없인 안 괜찮아。(왜 내곁을 떠나？) 안괜찮아。
zaijiang’s voice croons in his ears and it hurts so so much, not because the wound, the gaping hole where his heart used to be but because the skin around the hole is still alive, bleeding bleeding gushing and wondering where the hell the familiar feeling of his heart pumping used to be. because the flesh around that gaping hole is still alive and it clenches and doesn’t get the push back from the big important muscle there and it is confused, he is confused, everything is so so confusing without zaijiang.

when he snaps back sleep tugs at his shoulders insistently and it is not comforting anymore it is not comforting anymore it hurts and pulls and tugs at the edges of the hole, and the dead flesh wakes up and doesn’t remember anything. the tarp is peeled away, and his gaping heart is open for anyone to look at, peer into, stick their fingers in to thumb at the nerves dangling there, stick their hands in to grasp at the nerves dangling there.

someone is tangling their fingers through his hair. he is usually lulled to sleep by it but instead, as it carves through the faded violet of his hair, it plunges through the dark water and there is light shining through and it is so so bright and—

his cheek is pressed against a cold window. the bus bumps down the road, city flashing by and the signs are in unfamiliar latin letters. his hands are folded across his chest, fingers digging into the wool of his coat, poised as if they were going to peel back the skin from an imaginary cut down his sternum. his tongue is dry, cheeks sticky with salt, eyes crusted with tears. when he blinks, his eyelashes cling together like how he’d wanted to whenever he and zaijiang parted, former with lips pressed tight and latter with a smile and a little wave, and a “i’ll see you later, xiaohang.”

there had been one time when that “i’ll see you later” extended not a day or so, but two years. shuhang doesn’t remember when, but the hole in his chest curls in on itself when he thinks it. his side is warm— heavy, hot weight pressing down. he blinks to get the sleep out of his lashes; moves his gaze from the city spinning by to the person by his side.

it’s… it’s zaijiang.

no. it’s not zaijiang. it’s jaeyoon. jang jaeyoon. shuhang can remember the months after when he’d practiced referring to zaijiang as jaeyoon, like everyone else did because his mother always taught him to treat others the way you were treated and jaeyoon threw him aside like he threw everyone else aside for his dream and so. and so shuhang treated jaeyoon like everyone else treated jaeyoon. he’d never called zaijiang, his… his precious zaijiang jaeyoon before— before he’d left.

then at the airport. once. the words burned his lips when they’d left like poison and now that they’re out he can feel the wounds, lick his lips and feel the sores that nestle themselves into the skin, curling into his sides like he had, resting his head on zaijiang’s lap.

was he just a sore in zaijiang’s side?

zaijiang— jaeyoon has a pair of earbuds in and they’re both plugged into his own ears, not one in each like they used to., sharing earbuds and stealing glances when one of their favourite parts played. it’s— jaeyoon hasn’t noticed him staring yet. why is he even staring? why is he sitting next to jaeyoon, of all people? how the hell did he get onto the bus— he doesn’t remember anything but the tang of blood on his tongue.

he’s always been a full body crier. chest heaving, fingers trembling, eyes faucets without an off switch. shivers running down the back of his spine. and he’s always been a cry first, get angry after type of person— his lips are dry and there is a crust around his eyes and anger is rising in his chest, choking and burning and he does not want to— he doesn’t know what he doesn’t want to do exactly but he pushes himself out of his seat and scowls.

he’s always been good at scowling, also.

and before zaijiang jaeyoon can say anything he licks his lips, part them, and “i don’t want to hear any explanations, so don’t even try,” and there’s all too much sharp and not enough power in his words, cutting but quiet and he wants to take them back to spit them out again.

jaeyoon’s had his turn to hurt him, and now that it’s his turn shuhang can’t find the courage to punch back even half as hard as jaeyoon had.

[year of the ox]

( ─ ✰ ＨＡＮ ＩＳＡＭ )
_______________________________________

main rapper • location ; la airport • tags ; saffron if she seats next to him/ open??? idk

isam sighed quietly for a second as he observed the two strangers from earlier. one of them, the taller one, had walked away and lied down on a bench. isam could tell that he was upset, even from afar it was clear as a bright summer's day. he wanted to do something, he really did. problem was, he didn't know what. what would he say? what would he do? what if the guy turned him away and told him to mind his own god-damned business. to put it simply, isam was so used to making friends that he was scared of being pushed away by people.

when the bus finally arrived, isam sighed softly. he was relieved to finally get the chance to leave the airport and get to the college. that way, everyone had the chance to finally rest. what he didn't expect about the bus, however, was to see kim jongin step out of that bus. isam wasn't exactly an exo fanboy, he always preferred solo artists over groups, but he knew them very well. sungbin, one of his older brothers, constantly complained that his girlfriend loved exo (and kai, in particular) more than him. isam made a mental note to ask jongin for an autograph for her at some point in time. now, however, he focused on getting onto the bus as soon as possible.

before stepping closer to the bus, isam turned his head back to the bench where he saw that guy laying down. he didn't know what exactly he would have done if he had gone to help, but there was no need to now. he was being carried by the same guy isam saw him talking to.

isam got on the bus and scanned the empty seats, though he ended up dropping himself in the first window seat he saw. he sighed softly, yawned quietly, and leaned his head on the window as he observed each person who got on the bus. they all seemed like nice people, at least from what he could see, and he was more than excited to work with them.

[jaemi]

↠ sαғғяση 'α' lαяsεη • sιxтεεη • яαρ/vσcαl •

↠ тαggιηg: Isam -> Jaemin

Saffron smiled politely in return to the older boy's thanks. She'd almost giggled at the surprised look she saw on the boy after her compliment, given he had so casually complimented her earlier.

Listening to Isam mentioning being lost made Saffron's face contort into a pout. "That's the last thing i'd want to happen-" she whined. And it really was. Although the thought of having at least one acquaintance with her made it a tiny bit less terrifying, the fear was still there. And she didn't even know the guy enough!

"I'm fine, though! I just don't exactly like crowds." Saffron replied, even though she wasn't sure why a stranger would care about how she was feeling.

The doubt subsided the moment she looked back at the guy who was on the floor earlier. He was crying and the guy he'd bumped into was obviously upset as well. Saffron was worried about the two, and if she'd had the guts to she would've approached either of them. But she very obviously didn't, unlike the guy standing next to her who had managed to approach her without feeling awkward.


x
• . ♥ . • . ♥ . •


The sight of the bus coming to park in one of the lots in front of her had Saffron's heart racing. She still couldn't believe she was actually so close to attending the university she's always wanted to go to. And as if to make matters worse, out of the bus walked none other than a famous K-Idol, more specifically Kim Jongin.

Saffron had to stop herself from rubbing her eyes to make sure she wasn't seeing things or that the man was just a look-alike of the idol. She didn't want to look stupid on not even the first day, yet she still blinked repeatedly out of shock.


x
• . ♥ . • . ♥ . •


The short female scanned the faces of those who approached the bus, hoping to recognize someone. But seemed like luck wasn't on her side because neither of the faces seemed the least bit familiar.

Slowly she walked closer to the vehicle, just then noticing Isam had already left her side. Saffron panicked slighty. She was on her own again. Isam's presence had somehow made her feel more comfortable, seeing how he'd been so sweet to her for as long as the two stood together. But now she was alone with nothing to do but think of the worse. Damn her pessimistic nature.

With a small sigh Saffron stepped inside the bus, walking to the very back and taking a seat next to the window. She didn't look around much, not really interested on sitting with anyone at the moment.

The girl quickly took her phone out from her back pocket, starting to type up something. Her hands were slightly shaking from both excitement and anxiety. She was truly unsure of how to feel and the fact that the person she hoped so much to see was nowhere to be found just made it even worse.

""[ I'm on the bus >><< ]

[ Are you here yet? ]

[ Is it you or i who is lost? ]

[ You sure we weren't too excited
to notice we weren't actually going
to the same school? ]

[ Ahhh, i hope you'll be here soon ]""

was what she sent to whomever she was so eager to meet. It was very true that Saffron would much rather have her friend respond to her soon than have them show up after who knows how long. She needed their reassurance. And she needed it quick.

The more she let her mind wander the more she realized her friend might've not been a friend after all. Maybe he's always been just some kind of old man or something--, that exact thought had Saffron's body shiver very visibly. It couldn't be! Either way she was extremely thankful to Isam for walking up to her, because what catfisher on their right mind would approach their victim while someone else was with them.


And this is why, my friends, you don't let Saffron think.

[koumei]

↳♛ jang jae yoon (장재윤)● 16 ● main vocalist ● tagged: shuhang

Jaeyoon sighs. "I'd have to be a real jerk to try that now." ‘As if I'm not one already.’ He doesn't even ignore the voice in his head — one that used to constantly attack him, keeping him up at night wondering why he couldn't fall asleep, one that he now just accepted as himself. He laughs, painfully, and then turns to Shuhang on a more serious note. "If we're going to have to work together, this has to subside. I don't want any future conflicts" Jaeyoon doesn't like how straightforward he's being. People had complained before that he was too blunt, so, being self-conscious, he'd withdrawn; he'd talked less. But sometimes, things have to be said straight up, right?
'anyway, bye.' The words flash in his mind, bright and electronic, taunting him.
'Not now, not now, definitely not when he's right beside me, already mad at me for— for...' Jaeyoon stops the thought from finishing. He adds to what he was saying earlier, but with a softer "Of course, that doesn't mean it has to be forgotten."

Two years ago, Jaeyoon would've ideally liked it if it was all just simply forgive and forget. He was confused, selfish, ambitious, curious, thinking he was on the right track, but in reality he was completely lost. Over time, he'd accumulated and bid farewell to friends, moved back to New York, and tried to find a path, a direction.

But, even recently —now more than ever— Jaeyoon feels lost. He realizes he hasn't changed much, and that if he digs deep enough and shrinks into himself and searches the depths of his mind enough, he'll find himself. Locked away and isolated in a small room by choice, behind a closed impenetrable door, coming out into darkness and delivering hurtful thoughts when he stops knocking. Jaeyoon doesn’t try anymore, and simply shuts it out, and it works. At least that’s what he wants to believe.

Being with Shuhang had distracted Jaeyoon, made it go away like a miracle. And yet it caused him pain, as he told himself he had to change for Shuhang, he had to will himself to be better, and when he couldn’t he gave up tearing himself up over trying.

Jaeyoon feels a sting within his chest, like a small jab to the heart, but he pushes it down and the feeling fades and he’s glad. He looks at Shuhang. “Sit down, it’s gonna be dangerous.” Along with his words, he would’ve gently tugged on Shuhang’s sleeve, or gestured to the seat beside him, where he’d been sitting before, but then realized, ‘He could sit anywhere, away from me if he wants.’

[心裡學]

❧| Park Mijin (Vocal)

Age 17 | Tag(s) none | Location LA Airport / bus

Mijin wasn't sure how many times she had regretted her actions ever since she left her house back in Seoul, but she knew that if she kept things up, she'd undoubtedly beat her previous record. No, she didn't remember the exact count for that either, but it had been shamefully large enough to reduce her to a curled-up ball of shame and self-contempt by the end of the day.

She was standing outside at the side of the bus facing the airport, waiting for the others to get on. A few had already boarded, but there were still some that have yet to follow suit.

Maybe I should just get on the bus... Mijin thought, pulling on her sleeves to cover her hands from the cold air. Wouldn't people find me weird, though? For me to stall outside before getting on? Should I just stay put and keep up with what I'm doing? I'd at least have something to back myself up... But it is cold outside... Ah, what do I--

A chilly breeze suddenly blew by, freezing her midway in her worries. When it died down, Mijin found herself moving straight towards the bus doors.

Perhaps I should follow my gut instinct instead...

Avoiding any eye contact, she sat down in an empty seat in the front row. She rubbed her stinging hands together in a weak attempt to warm them. At least the bus had an installed heater. She'd thaw by then.

[peachesanddream]

• cнσι ןαε-мιη • sεvεηтεεη • lεαđεя ↞

тαggιηg: saffron ↞

x

Jaemin never liked traveling long distances, and a flight from Seoul to Los Angeles certainly wasn’t anywhere near short. Right after arriving in the USA, he could’ve sworn the major cold almost gave him hypothermia. He always thought of Los Angeles as a sunny city where cold temperatures don’t exist, yet here he was, in just a hoodie and jean jacket. His pale complexion was reddened from the cold, as he ran a hand through his raven hair. Suitcase in one hand, scrap of paper in the other, he continued to explore the airport. Well, it wasn’t exactly exploring as he was currently under the pressure of time

The seemingly unimportant piece of paper rolled up in his hand was actually the printed invitation to the school of his dreams, and that’s where he was heading. The bus taking the freshest students would be leaving in mere minutes, and Jaemin was already as lost as ever. All of this seemed unreal, almost like a dream. And if it was a dream, he didn’t want to wake up yet.

“How do people find their way around here?” He muttered under his breath, glancing from sign to sign as panic started growing inside him. Just then, he remembered something; or rather, somebody.
“Saffron!” He gasped, hurriedly teaching into his jacket’s pocket pulling out his phone, eyes widening as he shakily scrolled through the stack of unread messages, all from one girl. He felt panicked, especially now that he realized he forgot to turn his phone back on after the flight. With a gulp, his fingers hovered over the bright screen as he swiftly typed in a series of responses.

“[Saff!! I’m here!!]

[completely lost .. ;;]

[but I’ll find the bus sooner or later]

[.. hopefully]”

The male sighed, making sure to turn his device back on this time before placing it back in his pocket. He had to concentrate now. His English was a bit rusty, but he would have to manage with what he has in order to find the bus on time. Spinning on his heel, he took one last glance at the jumble of signs hanging from the ceiling and finally, he found it. A bright blue sign with an illustration of a bus and words he wasn’t able to decipher.

“That must be where the buses leave.” He mumbled under his breath, the corners of his lips curling upwards and into a smile. He found it.

“Jaemin, you’re a genius.” The male chuckled half heartedly, as he began sprinting down the path with the smile still present on his slightly chapped lips.

Within minutes, he finally arrived at an exit. The metal doors opened and closed as groups of people were leaving the airport with their suitcases trailing behind. Taking a deep breath, Jaemin slipped into the crowd as he struggled to keep notice of his surroundings. He felt his heart rate quicken and throat go dry, but at last he made it out. The cool air of the outside hit his face with a gentle sting, making him sigh in relief at his accomplishment. If he could he’d stay in that moment longer, but the bus wouldn’t wait so instead he began to trot down the sidewalk, eyes finally falling on a familiar face sitting in the window of the vehicle. Saffron. She looked worried, maybe even scared but from far away Jaemin wasn’t able to tell.

Excitement started to boil inside the boy, as he ran the rest of the way to his destination. The bus had not left yet, which meant he was on time. With a sigh, he jumped on the bus and glanced over at Saffron, catching her gaze and giving her a wave.

[jaemi]

↠ sαғғяση 'α' lαяsεη • sιxтεεη • яαρ/vσcαl •

↠ тαggιηg: Jaemin

It didn't take that long for a series of messages to start appearing on her screen. The slight happiness she felt made her lips form an almost invisible smile. With her thumbs already hovering over the screen Saffron started typing up her replies.

""[ Please be here soon.. ]

[ I kinda hope you won't make it though ]

[ i don't know how this will end up hhah ]

[ i still lobe you tho :'D ]""

The brunette's heart had started racing at the thought of actually speaking to Jaemin face to face. Would it be the same as video chats? She hoped so. Awkwardness couldn't be a good thing. It never was, anyways.

Saffron had her head pressed against the window and eyes half closed when she finally noticed the face she's been waiting to see since she approached exit five. Choi Jaemin, looking as tall as ever. Maybe too tall. Was she really supposed to act calm around him?

Hopefully he'll sit somewhere else for now,, the brunette thought to herself while her eyes followed the boy's body as he entered the bus. And then they made eye contact. And he waved. Saffron was done for, wasn't she?

The girl waved back with a sheepish smile as the boy approached her seat.