harv's journal

[Guest]

hi!!! i'm harvest & this is just a peaceful little place
for me 2 keep track of myself & my thoughts/ideas

[Guest]

good evening i'm writin this after taking a little break from colouring a drawing i'm working on for el!!! uh i don't feel good today, woke up feeling pretty anxious & tired & sad. still am. but, i'm trying to take it easy like my Angel Gf told me to ahha.. i took a nice long n clean bath this morning & made some tea in the afternoon - it's also been nice outside, the city had it's first snow of the year like two days ago & it still hasn't melted, & there's actually a lot of snow outside, it looks really pretty on overcast days!! the main things that have been cheering me up today rrr; cats, fruits, vintage florals, sweaters, milk, quiet cities, dandelion hands, doodles, the kirby series, & my amazing gf!!!! ♥♥ i know i talk about her a lot but. wow she's perfect & how could i not...... i love her lots n lots n lots!!! nd i'm gnna try & get better over the weekend! i don't rly have much to say nothing much happened today besides me trying 2 b patient n kind/gentle n accepting to myself (like elena is 2 me djcnffjfn!!!). i'm also just too exhausted to write a ton, or anything that rly makes sense, i feel a lot more sleepy & upset than usual today. i just thought making a journal would hopefully help me keep track of my emotions or whatever! anyways i might edit this later but right now i feel like i'm going to fall asleep!!!

[Guest]

hi it's been a few days ahha! i mostly put off writing because i didn't feel like i had much that was interesting 2 say this weekend, bt i'm gnna write it all down into a little collection now before i forget!! today (monday feb. 26! since it'll probably be tomorrow by the time i finish writin this) was alright, i slept in pretty late just because i was still recovering from an anxiety attack i had outta nowhere last night, i felt & still feel reallyy exhausted/weird/achy, but i went 2 my homeschooling's public building to meet the people there n have a lil tour. the place is nice n the people are nice! it was formerly an old elementary school, it's vry small & comforting.. there's plushies all over the place, art on the walls, crafts & homemade stuff like strawberry n blackberry jam & cat toys n such for sale that was made by students i believe.. a little library, a neat community garden outside, & some of the newly growing plants are kept inside until they can b put into the garden! the area it's in is rly nice too, just a bit out from the city though there's still some very busy roads, it's like the country mixed with highways n lots of people have their farms & eggs & honey or w/e businesses out there!! it was really sunny out, very warm in the morning bt it got windier into th afternoon. it all felt sorta nostalgic. i had sm lemony prawns + sushi n tried this lychee soda 2day too!! anyways, not much else happened 2day either :" ~ 3c about saturday + sunday though!!: um on sunday, i planted some seeds fr an indoor herb garden i'm hopefully going 2 b able to grow!! & i'm rly excited bcus i luv herbs!! i planted sm lavender, some mints, chives, & arugula! & maybe a few more omg i can't fully remember n am too comfy in bed 2 go & check in the livingroom.... when summer comes i'm going 2 try n plant some outside as well, maybe even these baby ones too if they grow properly! <33 & i guess i should talk abt how i was feeling too ahh, it's kinda fuzzy now, but i remember waking up feeling sick 2 my stomach in sort of a nervous way & felt tht way fr the rest of the day, even though i had nothing to be nervous abt.. lotta crying n feeling shaky. then i had a gross anxiety attack fr no reason that night. i don't wanna think abt it too much mm. though.. el sent me the sweetest messages in the world that night & comforted n made me feel a lot safer & happier!!! i can't explain how amazing it feels 2 have such a supportive nd caring n patient person who is also just such a beautiful person in so many ways by my side ❤️❤️❤️ i wrote notes fr this entry & in between a lot of them i just wrote stuff like ""I LOVE MY GIRLfRiend a lot & SO much!!!! she means th world 2 me i love evrything abt herr r r rr.... wow i love my perfect gf"" elena is actually a goddess this has been a psa!!! mwah.. i'm getting so happy & warm inside right now fjfnjfjghd ..💕 angel if ure reading this right now reminder tht i love u lots n lots n lots & you make me so happy!!! ahah uuh, & um, on saturday not much else had happened, my therapist showed me these radical quilts though!! oh there was this one that was like.. a frog in a lake, & it was so cool! the creator of it used fabrics that had patterns that looked like water & rocks & plants n etc & then used a bunch of different colourful ones for the frog.. it looked so neat! i really wanna get into quilting smtime, maybe during spring break! also i had this nice mango juice there, n i've been colouring this Bee Colouring Page frm an adult colouring book while talking 2 her there. of course i chose the one w/ bugs on it.. the colouring i do is pretty mindless n the colours r pretty weird but it's nice 2 do nonetheless. it was gray n cloudy, still sort of icy on the pavement n trees from the snow, but for the most part it had melted, & it was also sorta like that on sunday. it's all melted now though! & tghat's my..... journal entry covering the past couple days ghfgfccg i don't know how 2 end this. i'm a bit tired & bit sad fr some reason uuh goodnight zzz....

[Guest]

i'm super exhausted & tired & cold right now bt.. i just feel like writin a little bit. i might just archive this one later ahha. i've been pretty sick this week, but it's a lot worse 2day, evrything is achy & hurts, i just feel like vomiting nd crying all the time. i feel like i have no energy in my body, so i've just been resting the past while. i feel fidgety & anxious for no reason. i barely have an appetite. my dreams r so weird. everything feels so weird, i keep on waking up at around two pm because i'm just so, so run down. it feels like there's a bunch of fuzz in my brain.. just. everything hurts & i'm rly uncomfortable & rly sad bcus of it.. i don't want this 2 b a sad post though omg, i just needed to get tht off my chest first. i don't know what 2 talk abt though blggfgcv i just feel so eghh ew. uh, i guess my herb garden has been starting to grow though!! they're so cute as little sprouts (+ i can't wait to see them bloom into Big Strong Plants!!!), it's vry therapeutic to see them grow a little evry day! the arugula has been growing well, lavender n chives just startin to grow, & the mints haven't been growing quite yet, bt i believe they take some time to grow so m just being patient w/ them. i did my laundry a while ago when I was feeling better than i am right now (i think i would just collapse n lay on th ground all nauseous if i tried 2 do it right now ghfgffg) , now my bed n clothes r all nice n clean n pretty comfy n smell nice > : 3c i've been doing pretty good mentally, at least better than before, i can start to think of nice + safe things without my anxiety totally distorting m peaceful thoughts anymore!! i think i'll b okay soon. i don't rly know how to describe it m just feeling.. Better. & think that hopefully it will turn into me feeling happier n more capable 2 do things. just wish this sickness would pass because it's grossss & makes me sadd. so uncomfy & cold.. i want a big comforting hug??? at least m raccoon plush is rly comforting. & speaking of affection.... i love my girlfriend sososo much.... she's sso.. perfect..... i love evry single thing abt her & jst who she is so much 💕💕💕 aaAHHH just want to. curl up w/ a bunch of soft pillows & especially her by my side n just.. drink apple juice & breath 2gether n sleep ❤️ m feeln pretty trashy right now but at least i'll b drifting off to my big ang(el)/the best goddess on earth.. i love love love you so much elena yr so absolutely amazing & i!!!! love you!!!! goodnight m happy n warm inside now <3333