snart's ramble journal

[wishbone!]

it suddenly just got really bad in my left ear. I barely even noticed it in my right until I thought, "hm wonder if they're both going off right now." I wonder if my earbuds have affected it? when I was walking back from 2nd period I noticed my left ear got kinda obnoxious but it didn't really kick back up again until about 2 minutes ago?
what is happening

[wishbone!]

"I'm unique!" I shout from the crowd
really it turns into more of a faint sentiment
I know I'm not that special.
and that my talents, though full of potential,
are nothing grand at all.
I blame it on a lack of spirit but it's that and a lack of heart
if I have no passion then how am I to make art?
I see challenge as a beast which I cannot tame
instead of experiencing struggle,
I take a few steps back then walk away
I want to find my own personal flow
but maybe meshing with everyone else is the way to go?
no, I can't. I simply refuse
I'm much too stubborn to ever follow that idea through
repeated failures because I keep giving up
chances to learn and climb
all refuted due to a fear of ego
will it get too big? what if it gets smaller?
meanwhile people are scaling up the ladder
and I hang diligently onto my rung

woe is me, woe is me
for my current path is not that to victory
I fear I'll forever wallow in my self-imbued inadequacy.

[wishbone!]

as in they're always buzzing around in my head and I can't get them out. stop bugging me and make me do it already

[wishbone!]

what an odd hobby/profession! I just went through an instagram account with lots of pictures about the taxidermy process. all kinds of different animals were there, mainly roadkill (which makes me sad to think about, plus the bodies aren't returning to the earth in an energy cycle).

I learned a new word from it! flensing - to strip the skin/blubber from (it was originally a term used for whales). I think it's really interesting, though messy & especially gory at times. one of my friend's sister is very interested in taxidermy so I might ask her about it if I can handle it. she's not especially pleasant to be around but I want to try to understand

[wishbone!]

STOP KILLING SHARKS! WE NEED THOSE!
STOP CUTTING DOWN FORESTS! WE NEED THOSE!
STOP RUINING NATURAL ECOSYSTEMS! WE NEED THOSE!!!!!!!!!!!

[wishbone!]

seems like I'll only ever do anything to avoid doing something else

anyway, time to stop being mopey! I found a new artist called Superorganism and I love their song "Everybody Wants To Be Famous." very catchy :^) uhhh I made a sketch too describing how I feel about my perpetual lack of passion. alliteration is nice I like it

today I will: take a shower and get my body all shiny, throw away the trash in my room and take my hoard of bowls back to the kitchen, try to sketch out an idea for a character, go to bed at a proper time.
I might also: tidy up my room, finish the designs I accepted to do, help do the dishes, draw the accessories for Eye.

[wishbone!]

hi my name's snart and I'm obsessed with the watercolor tool despite not knowing how to use it AT ALL!!!!!!

[wishbone!]

how people can look at the animal product industry, watch documentaries about how it works, and still not be absolutely mortified by the process. it honestly breaks my heart. I'm not an emotional person but looking at the buildings filled with these poor animals who are confined to a single building for their whole lives before being slaughtered is deeply upsetting and nearly brings tears to my eyes. the conditions in which they are forced to exist are despicable and people would rather continue propagating that kind of life for them rather than question their actions in the world.

and the workers... treated without thought and are nearly always overworked and largely unprotected from the dangers of the business which they work in. the workers who are largely immigrants or impoverished people who can't find any other work because of bias and a lack of opportunities.

not to mention the people who live near the animal farms! the noxious gases that are produced by the creatures cause them to either be harmed or deeply unsatisified with a land that was probably much better for them than it now is, since the animal industry is somehow still growing despite the recognized atrocities of it. a large majority of the folks who live near the farms are poor and often POC which stems into systematic racism.

hey remember how cows are unceasingly impregnated just so kids can have milk? that the cows are forced to produce young that they devote so much energy to and the calves are taken away from them to get slaughtered, or to be grown and also pillaged? the PUS LIMIT in milk? or what about how animals bred for meat/milk/eggs are kept in such tight quarters that they essentially bathe themselves in each other's filth each day and because of that, they have to be pumped with antibiotics

IT'S NOT GOOD FOR ANYONE EXCEPT ETHICALLY CORRUPT SCUMBAGS WHO WANT NOTHING BUT MONEY!!!!!!

anyway.
the animal industry is horrible and I encourage everyone to stop supporting it because it's the best option for literally the entire planet.

[wishbone!]

I'm a big green angry vegan and I'm here to shame you for eating animal products
jk but not really
click the links in my sig to learn why it would help the whole planet (you! your family! your friends! your community! your country!) to even just reduce how much you consume. please

[wishbone!]

ps: organic/cage-free/pasture-raised animal meat provides the animals with a better quality of life, usually, but it's still part of the bigger problem. small changes (like going from mass production to a smaller scale [organic]) are important but the essential goal should be to not contribute to the unnecessary suffering of animals at all