❤ JAMIE'S POETRY ❤. Updated [Nov.2017]

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I'm required to write up to seven poems for an audition that I have in January. I figured that I should post them here to get tips and constructive criticism. Feel free to leave any tips that you have, I truly appreciate it!

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The Sea

Written by: @Hohlnacht 2017

A vast plain of blue,
More than you ever knew.
Under the surface lie secrets and shipwrecks.
Many years spent on your undersea treks,
You look to me with gleaming eyes and say;
“I’ll be a legend. Someday.”
those words take me back to that dreadful night,
Where three tumultuous knocks at the door gave me a fright.
Captain Isaac, that heartless being,
Gave me the news that stopped my heart from beating.
I fell down to my knees and wept,
My love had fallen victim to the tide; away he was swept.
I vehemently shut the door,
My tears pouring down my face and onto the floor.
My world had been taken from me,
By the thing we loved most; the sea.

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Lost

Written by: @Hohlnacht 2017

“As​ ​I​ ​gazed​ ​into​ ​the​ ​decrepit​ ​mirror​ ​within​ ​my​ ​bathroom,
I​ ​noticed​ ​my​ ​eyes.
Were​ ​they​ ​even​ ​mine​ ​anymore?
They​ ​seemed​ ​so​ ​foreign​ ​and​ ​unfamiliar.
The​ ​vehement​ ​susurration​ ​of​ ​self-doubt​ ​in​ ​my​ ​ear
was​ ​overwhelming​ ​me​ ​and​ ​bringing​ ​me​ ​to​ ​a​ ​sickening​ ​realisation;
Even​ ​the​ ​mere​ ​sight​ ​of​ ​myself​ ​was​ ​too​ ​bizarre​ ​to
my​ ​own​ ​conscious​ ​mind.
The​ ​identity​ ​that​ ​I​ ​have--​ ​or​ ​had,​ ​to​ ​be​ ​correct,
was​ ​lost,​ ​gone​ ​with​ ​the​ ​winds​ ​of​ ​change,​ ​never​ ​to​ ​return.
This​ ​puzzling​ ​question,
of​ ​which​ ​has​ ​an​ ​unfathomable​ ​amount​ ​of​ ​answers,
I​ ​ask​ ​of​ ​you;
Who​ ​am​ ​I?"

Prompt: Write about a loss of identity.

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Raindrop

A singular drop of water, so delightful,
as your tears of happiness, as rain in the deserts,
brings forth joy to your hearts.
A drop of water, so harsh, as a hurricane
or a torrential downpour, strike such horrid fears.
A singular drop of water, so bitter, as many tears of
regret and betrayal and cries of agony burden souls with sadness.
A drop of water, as small as it may be, can impact the lives of you and I.


[center]I really don't like how this one turned out but I'll post it anyways. This was inspired by my friend @tigerbutt, she loves rain to pieces.