My Poem; You'll Understand

[Sweetie_Ashe]

You'll Understand

Near the door
He pauses to stand
As he took his class ring
Off of her hand
All who were watching
Did not speak
As a silent tear
Slid down his cheek
And through his mind
The memories ran
Of the moments they walked
And ran in the sand (hand in hand)
But now her eyes were so terribly cold
For he would never again
Have her to hold
They watched in silence
As he bent near
And whispered the words
'I love you' in her ear
He touched her face and started to cry
as he put on his ring and wanted to die
And just then the wind began to blow
As they lowered her casket
Into the snow
This is what happens
To man alive
When friends let friends
Drink and drive

[Ranger of the North]

Oh my goodness! :O Well first off I love the rhythm and the way you rhyme <3 The first few lines at the start made me think they were breaking up or something, and the end actually gave me a huge shock! Took me completely by surprise, haha 0.0 It's pretty great

al~so~ on the eighth line you've put 'slide' where I think you meant 'slid' c;

[Sweetie_Ashe]

Oh my goodness! :O Well first off I love the rhythm and the way you rhyme <3 The first few lines at the start made me think they were breaking up or something, and the end actually gave me a huge shock! Took me completely by surprise, haha 0.0 It's pretty great

al~so~ on the eighth line you've put 'slide' where I think you meant 'slid' c;

Yes, I did. I read through and noticed that. Thank you!! <3

[Ranger of the North]

Np C:

[The Worst Username]

Oh, gosh, that was sad. The ending was definitely a surprise, too, and I love how you twisted the "friends don't let friends drink and drive" into a whole poem. It's very well written.

[woopperoni]

This is amazing! Better than most poetry I have read. I love the rhyming and rhythym too :0