nan & the ₁₀₀ scene challenge | posting open

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nan & the ₁₀₀ scene challenge | posting open

Postby raey » Sun Mar 15, 2015 3:58 am

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100 prompts. 100 scenes. 100 stories.

Welcome!
This is my thread for the "100 scene challenge"


last scene: // xxx


main characters
//in order of appearance

~ Mark Ackerman (27)
~ Hailey Edwards (25)
~ Alice Baker (26)
~ Hannah Baker (5)
~ Tom Baker (†, 27)
~ Jamie Donavan (22)
~ Milo Delavaré (23)
~ Bane Davis (28)
side characters
//in order of appearance

~ Sunny (the squirrel)
~ John Doe (the dog who thinks he is a cat)
~ Liz Davis (28 - human)
about me
I am a female student who enjoys writing in her free time.
Until now I only did roleplays but I really like the idea
so I thought - why not.
The characters I use are completely new to me.

You are always welcomed to critique :3


~ nan




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finished prompts are linked
11 / 100


“Little by little, day by day, okay?” // “Get. Off. Right now.” // “... That’s it.”
// “So, uh, we should… probably run now.” // “You’re insane! I love it.”
“Hey, I offered to help you.” // “Who’s laughing now?” // “Would you please just be quiet?”
“Whoa, buttercup, whoa.” // "I can’t believe you talked me into this." // “Marry me?”
“Hey! I was gonna drink that!” // “You did all of this for me?” // “This isn’t over.”
“If you die, I’m gonna kill you.” // “Well, this is awkward.” // “It was you who was standing there.”
“That is the stupidest idea you’ve ever had. Of course I’m in.”// “Hey, I’m with you, okay? Always.”
“Uh, she’s gunna punch you, man.” // “BAHAHAHA- ahem.”// “I think I am concussed.”
“You have got to be kidding me.” // “This ain’t that kind of movie.” // “Is it… dead?”
“I’ll just sit here and wait for you to be finished.” // “You wound me.” // “Trust you? PAH.”
“I don’t know who you are.” // “It’s okay. I promise. I’m here.” // “Oh, this is going to be good.”
“Well, I finally got your attention.” // “Like a hole in the head.”// “I'm... okay.”
“Well, are you coming?” // “Where are your pants!?” // “Help me push it.”
“It’s almost midnight, no way!” // “Positively smashing.” // “Don’t let go, okay?”
“You can’t leave me like this.” // “Say that to my mother.” // “Sing me a lullaby, please?”
“This hurts worse than I thought it would.” // “Hah! - oh, wait, you’re serious?”
“As much as I’d enjoy that…” // -gasp- “The plague!” “No!” “YES.” // “I won’t let you do this.”
“I’ve still got it.” // “I can’t do it. I just can’t.” // "Don’t you ever do that again!"
“I thought I lost you.” // "Teach me?" // "Don’t you dare throw that snowball-"
"It could be worse."// "We’re in the middle of a thunderstorm and you wanna stop and feel the rain?"
"I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice." // "What are you so afraid of?”
“How did you get that scar?” // “You said WHAT?” // “Can you stop bringing that up?”
“Wait for me!” // “We’ll be dead by morning.” // “STOP TALKING.” // “I do.”
“I don’t want to.” // “What did I ever do to you?!” // “Follow me.”
-SIGH- “I can’t reach it.” // “What are you waiting for?” // “WAIT NO THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT-”
“I don’t need you.” // “You deserve better.” // “If you love something, let it go.”
“Why do I have to wear this?” // “Here goes nothing.” // “Where the heck were you?!”
“I don’t need help.”// “We’re gonna be parents…” // “I didn’t think you knew.”
“I thought those were poisonous.” // “Don’t make me go alone.” // “I’m sorry… I didn’t know.”
“I’d be lost without you.” // “Just leave me!” // “I dare you to…” // “Run!”
“How did you manage that?” // “Liar!” // “I don’t even want to be here.”
“Oh crap, we fell asleep!” // “Is this the life you wanted?” // “GIVE ME THAT.”
“Get back here!” // “Let go of me!” // “I’ll just follow you.” // “YOU DON’T SAY.”
“And yet, you love me anyway.” // “I just thought I’d have a swim.” // “Don’t cry.”
Last edited by raey on Fri May 01, 2015 8:53 am, edited 16 times in total.
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We’re in the middle of a thunderstorm...

Postby raey » Sun Mar 15, 2015 5:58 am

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Last edited by raey on Tue Aug 16, 2016 5:38 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: nan & the ₁₀₀ scene challenge | posting open

Postby ʞ ɔ ǝ ɹ ʍ d ı ʞ s » Sun Mar 15, 2015 11:36 am

    I really liked that first story!
    It was very sweet and I liked the setting and how they met and all c:
    Super cute first scene!

    There are only a couple things I have to say:
    Watch out for sentence structure!
    Sometimes you can combine a few sentences to make one and it will flow better and be less choppy.
    And make sure you don't start sentences with "because"!
    And watch out for repeating words a lot c: [that's the thing I have the hardest time with]
    Also, I did notice that you seem to have trouble with tenses.
    It's important to stick with either past, present, or future and not to switch back and forth.
    It was mostly in past, so I took some of the instances where you used present or future and fixed them c:
    [I hope you don't mind!]
    I may have missed some, but just look out for it in the future!
    It's a common thing to struggle with c:
    The deep male voice singing sang loudly
    Brown hair stick stuck heavy at to her bare skin
    but she would was be wrong
    Since For four weeks now the twenty-five year old woman had a new job and become became worried about her relationship.
    They didn't went go on dates any more.
    Since For hours she was now walking on the road.
    But she didn't cared care any way.
    For the first time, Hailey Edwards didn't cared care.
    now hold held on tightly around the leather.
    until the music wasn't more but than a whisper.
    The thin dress stick stuck to her body.
    She hadn't heard the car coming closing.
    But she even couldn't else help but smile a bit as she heard the steps behind her.
    will be that when you come into the car
    He didn't even knew know her.
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Re: nan & the ₁₀₀ scene challenge | posting open

Postby Asherwy » Sun Mar 15, 2015 5:17 pm

      aaahhhhhh this is soooo cute!
      poor Hailey </3
      it hurts a lot to see your boyfriend hook up with your best friend
      I'm glad she found Mark though, I really like it
      and the lyrics too, they're really beautiful
      love it naaan <333
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Re: nan & the ₁₀₀ scene challenge | posting open

Postby raey » Sun Mar 15, 2015 7:30 pm

      @ Captain: thank you very, very much for this long critique =)
      I am happy you like it
      I will try to fix you corrections later the day.
      And you are totally right with everything xD. Grammar is really not my thing, and tenses even less. You know English is only my second language and I can't tell you why, but when we learned the tenses in school it worked pretty good. But as soon as I write a text I always mix them up. I will try my best to work on that - and my vocabulary that I don't repeat words too often =)
      Your critique really helps to improve my writing =)


      @ Ash: *hugs*
      thank you very much =)
      I think I am going to write a bit more about these two. I like the idea of some stories building a whole "thing" - you know
      ahaha xD yes I couldn't resist the music. In case you are interested: The first song is "Capsize" - Big Black Delta. The last one: "All out of love" - Air Supply
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Re: nan & the ₁₀₀ scene challenge | posting open

Postby Asherwy » Mon Mar 16, 2015 2:37 am

      ahhhh thank you!
      I'm impatiently waiting for the next one owo
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Re: nan & the ₁₀₀ scene challenge | posting open

Postby ʞ ɔ ǝ ɹ ʍ d ı ʞ s » Mon Mar 16, 2015 9:51 am

    Well you definitely do an amazing job considering this is your second language!
    English is extremely tricky, even to people who speak it their whole lives.
    May I ask what your first language is?
    And I would suggest using a thesaurus to help expand your vocabulary.
    I do that all the time x]
    thesaurus.com is a life saver lol
    And of course! I'm happy to help! I quite enjoy what you've come up with so far c:
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Re: nan & the ₁₀₀ scene challenge | posting open

Postby raey » Tue Mar 17, 2015 3:58 am

      ahaha xD thank you very much
      My mother-language is German =)
      Thank you for the link - this site is AMAZING O.o I guess I fall in love with it. It already found a place in my bookmarks xD
      I try my best to get up a new scene by tomorrow - already know what it should be about...only have to write it xD
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Is it...dead?

Postby raey » Tue Mar 17, 2015 6:52 am

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Re: nan & the ₁₀₀ scene challenge | posting open

Postby raey » Tue Mar 17, 2015 7:22 am

@ delcie: aww thank you :3
you don't know how awesome I feel reading your comments.
It means really much to me =)
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