Ninja Nichijou

[animalobsessed1]

This is a parody that includes, but is not limited to, lots of anime series, light novels, and normal western tv series and novels. The authors are my best friend and I. Tell me what you think. Are all the refenences even understandable?

In case any of this seems familiar, we stole our ideas from:
- Baccano!
- Durarara!!
- Black Blood Brothers
- Naruto
- Shingeki no Kyojin
- 1/2 Prince
- Naruto abridged
- Gintama
- Winx
- Naruto - die sinnfreie Serie
- Aross the Universe
- Elfen Lied
- Sherlock
- Toaru Majutsu no Index
- Shinsekai Yori
- Barakamon
- Phantom: Requiem for the Phantom
- Danshi Koukousei no Nichijou (Daily Lives of Highschool Boys)
- Space☆Dandy
- Zetsuen no Tempest

[animalobsessed1]

Chapter 1 Notes

Tsundere Power: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Tsundere

Shyaat up!: This is supposed to mean shut up, but anime characters like Yui like to add in an unneccessary "y"

Have your hair stay up even when you're upside down no jutsu: This is a line from an anime called "Kill me, baby". Also, "-no jutsu" is how the names of most attacks in Naruto end.

Uyeda-sensei: the word "sensei" is used in Japanese as a title to refer to or address teachers, professors, lawyers, doctors, etc

Shine: His name is supposed to be pronounced like the japanese imperative of shinu (to die). So basically, when they're shouting his name, they're shouting "go die!"

purple: Purple is an evil color. Didn't you know? The members of the evil organization, Akatsuki, in Naruto all have purple nail polish...

Ricekage: The leaders of each ninja village in Naruto have "-kage" at the end of their titles, which is Japanese and means "shadow". However, the first parts of their titles are also Japanese, unlike the Ricekage's.

nekonomegan: neko means cat

kekkei-genkai: this is the term Naruto characters use to refer to special clan related abilities.

tertraphobia: This phobia actually exists. Google it if you don't believe me.

talking about helping to waste time and avoid actually having to help: They do this all the time in anime, though I'm guessing the real reason might also be that animating fights is more difficult than having the characters just stand around uselessly.

butterflies: are a bad omen. Just watch Zetsuen no Tempest or the beginning of Bleach.

breaking the fourth wall: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/M ... FourthWall

...potato chip... and... ate... it.: From Death Note

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KC6T3_O2iWc

flashback: They can provide some interesting details about a character's backstory... But they can also be used to drag a series into twice the length it should be, either by giving unneeded information, or simply by repeating themselves until you know the character's backstory by heart. Doing this also saves on animation costs.

Moshi moshi: People in Japan say "moshi moshi" when they pick up the phone, though the phrase isn't really used in any other situations.

-sama: a Japanese honorific suffix that conveys respect.

ANBU: http://naruto.wikia.com/wiki/Anbu

[animalobsessed1]

Chapter 1

☆☆☆

"Oh no! I'll be late!" Yui shouted, then began trying to stuff her lunch into her bag. She bagan heading towards the door, but soon reached the first obstacle: Her mother blocked her path, saying "You have to eat breakfast first." So, like any well thought out anime girl, Yui grabbed a piece of toast, stuck it in her mouth, and raced out the door at ninja speed.
She ran towards the ninja playground, the meeting place for all ninjas. But as she rounded the last corner, some fool suddenly bumped into her. It was Kouda, the idiot character from her team.
Kouda watched the ground getting closer and barely had time to think "Huh? Is the floor moving?" before his head hit the floor.
After being unconcious for two seconds, he woke up again and began asking the standard questions he had learned at the Ninja Academy: "Where am I? Who am I? Why am I...? Am I? Am I? Am I?..."
He was interrupted when Yui screached "Tsundere Power!" and smacked him across the face. "Shyaat up!"

Sitting on the ninja playground's swings, the mysterious-looking Aki sighed and commented: "What an annoying character..."

Yui and Kouda went over to two people hanging around at the other side of the playground. One of them was sitting on the bench, slurping boredly at the straw of a juice box- with rice taste! The other one hung the wrong way around on the monkey bars and was throwing ninja knives at the tree.
When Yui recognized her team mate at the bars, she squeak-laughed: "Kyahaha! Akayo, is that all you can do? I can do that much better!" Then she jumped onto it and swung herself eligantly next to him. She formed her fingers to a ninja signal andd yelled: "Have your hair stay up even when you're upside down no jutsu!"
Akayo sighed, obviously annoyed, and closed his eyes. "That wasn't the point."
"What was?" she asked.
Akayo didn't answer.
Uyeda-sensei stopped slurping his rice flavored juice and explained: "He was practicing his kunai throwing technique."
"Ah. Well, I can do that too." Yui said and pulled out her own ninja knives. "Hayaaaa! Take that, tree!" She hurled her knives, but instead of hitting the tree, they hit a guy who was just innocently passing by.
"SHINE!" They all shouted at once.
This was the name of the person she had hit.
Shine was now lying on the ground with a fountain of blood spraying out of his forehead.
Uyeda-sensei got up from the bench. "Let's go." he said.
Shine's nose made a crunchy sound as Kouda stepped onto his face.
"And once again, we have solved a problem by walking on." Akayo said as he, too, walked past.
"Shouldn't he be brought to a hospital?" Aki mused from a safe distance. Then he got up and walked home.

☆☆☆

The team of four entered a dark room. On the other side of the room behind a deep purple desk stood a deep purple wheely chair that was facing away from them. It turned dramatically slowly with a squealing sound. Suddenly a "Hohohohoho" rang out throughout the room, which was supposed to be an evil laugh. After dramatically turning his chair to face them, the Ricekage continued to stroke his white long haired Persian cat, making elegant wave-like movements with his hand.
"I have an important misson for you..." he announced dramatically. At that moment, the white long haired Persian cat noticed its chance and jumped off his lap, running towards the window.
"Hey, wait Mobi! Get back here!" he called to his cat. But it was too late. The cat had already jumped out of the window. The Ricekage turned to his ninja subordinates. "Forget about the important misson. Bring me back my expensive white long haired Persian cat."

[animalobsessed1]

“Yes, Sir!” Uyeda-sensei eagerly shouted as he jumped out the window all ninja-like with Kouda and Yui hot on his heels.
Akayo sighed once more, thinking: `I hate my life.´ before he also disappeared from the room with a poof.
The team met up outside the Ricekage's palace to discuss their strategy.
“Akayo, use your nekonomegan to locate the cat.”
“That's right, Akayo. That kekkei-genkai is perfect for catching cats, right?” Kouda added.
Actually, unlike the name suggested, Akayo's kekkei-genkai ability was not restricted to finding cats. Instead, it was only called that because, when activated, the user's pupils became oval like a cat's. The ability itself was just having an eagle-like supervision, with various upgrades that could be gained through various techniques.
However, knowing that it would be pointless to argue with Kouda's stupidity, Akayo decided to simply keep quiet and follow his sensei's orders.
Once activated, the nekonomegan flooded Akayo's mind with information about his surroundings. A butterfly sat on a tree branch twenty meters away. `Focus!´ Akayo thought, `We're not here to look for butterflies!´ He blinked twice to erase the image from his mind, and resumed his search.
“Target located.” He said after two minutes. “44.44 meters to our right.”
"Wait. Did. Did you just s-say 44.44 meters? Oh no we're all going to die!" Kouda stammered fearfully.
"Ohh Kouda. Shut up! Your tetraphobia is so ridiculous! And so annoying!" Yui said.
"Tetraphobia?" Uyeda-sensei asked, pretending that he was interested in Kouda's spazzing.
Now Yui thought herself to be very smart and answered: "Yeah. The number 4 in Chinese sounds very similar to their word for 'death' and that's why the Chinese people all fear the number 4. Haha, that's so funny. There are no 4th floors, so the floor above the third is the fifth and... "
"Okay okay. I get it!" Uyeda-sensei stopped the babbling, obviously bored of it.
"Wait! Don't we also know someone whose name is connected to the Japanese word for 'dying'?" Kouda wondered, thinking of Shine.

[animalobsessed1]

"Um, guys? Sorry for interrupting your very important conversation. But couldn't we please concentrate on the mission. Now the cat's gotten away... AGAIN!" Akayo said and tried to stay calm.
Suddenly there was a loud 'BOOM' which came from the downtown of Ricegakure.
"What was that?" Yui asked.
"A 'boom'. " Uyeda-sensei answered.
"Oh no we should go and see what happend!" Kouda shouted.
"Yeah, maybe the village is under attack. And because we're like the guardians of the village, we have to protect it!" Yui said heroically.
"Yeah, lets go and show them what loyal ninjas we are."
"Yeah lets beat them up!"
"Yes, it's about time that we also show up and fight."
"You're right. Lives could be in danger."
"Let's roll! We have to save them."
"Yeah lets go."
"Yeah!"
"Yeah."
"Are you done yet? Come on!" sighed Akayo annoyed.
...
And he ran with ninja speed to the place where the explosion had happened.
Now his team mates had no more excuses and had no choice but to follow Akayo.
When he arrived, he saw a red haired woman throwing bombs at the convenience store where the Ricekage had gone shopping for cat food in the meantime.

[animalobsessed1]

She was laughing crazily and shouting "Die, Ricekage! Bwahahaha!"
Meanwhile, another had team arrived, too. It was team 2.
The team's sensei shouted "Hey there, little brother. You're here, too?
"Yes, we saw the explosion while we were on... uhm... an important mission, but we immediately decided to come and help." Akayo told his older brother Ichiro.
"Oh heey there! Is that my little brother and my older one, both at the same time? Nice to see you. You came to stop me and my terrorist pal, din'tcha?" a young man said with a wide grin on his face.
Thus, all three of the Faiyaclan's headfamily brothers had met up at the scene of the terrorist attack.
The middle brother jumped off the roof he had been sitting on.
His order was to watch over the woman bombarding the Ricekage, and protect her if she was attacked by Ricegakure ninjas.
"Oh hey, Ayaka. You're here too. Haha, long time no see." the young man with the same black hair as Ichiro and Akayo continued.
"Heey Kyo. Whats up? Haha, do you remeber the last time we were here and blablabla." the boy called Ayaka from team 2 said, and then Ayaka and Kyo began pointlessly rambling.

[animalobsessed1]

"Whaaat!? Youre friends with this terrorist guy?" Deemzwei - the useless girl of team 2 - said, shocked.
Ayaka didnt understand...
As always.
"Yes. But why are you so surprised? Is something wrong?"
"Never mind..."
"Hey Kyo, you idiot. What are you doing here? Don't tell me you planned to kill the Ricekage!?" Akayo interrupted this strange conversation.
"Yup. You're right, that was my intention. But you don't have to worry about me. You know the world is mine, so... "
"Yes, I know you can't die. But that wasn't my damn problem here!" Akayo sighed.
"Hey Kyo I'm done. Time to go." the red haired terrorist said to Kyo.
"Okaay, Shikake. See ya all!" he said good bye to his brothers and his friend, then they both disappeared with a poof.
"Bye Kyo." Ayaka said with a grin and waved with his hand.

[animalobsessed1]

"Damn. He was able to escape. AGAIN." Akayo muttered.
"It's not as if we'd have had a chance against him anyway." The eldest brother, Ichiro commented calmly.
"What the hell just happend?" Yui asked, confused.
"I have no idea. Let's just pretend that this never even happend." Uyeda answered quietly.
"Alright." everyone - Yui, Kouda, Ayaka, Akayo, his brother Ichiro, and Deemzwei - agreed. 
"Wait, where's Shine?" Kouda asked.
"Oh, he's in hospital. Someone attacked him at the ninja playground. Do you have any ideas who could have done something like that?" Ichiro-sensei replied.
"Ehm nooo..." Uyedasensei answered. "I have no idea..."
"Oh, that's so scary. Poor Shine." Yui said. 
Akayo met her eyes with disbelief.
"Shouldn't we see if the Ricekage is okay? I mean, he has been attacked with bombs." Ichiro suggested.
From the convenience store's ruins, a groan could be heard...
Out of the corner of his eye, Akayo saw a mysterious shadow sneaking away.
'I should warn the others.' Akayo thought. 'But how? What do I say? I don't want to use the words 'mysterious shadow'! That would be way too embarrassing.' In the end, he decided that his image was more important and kept quiet.

[animalobsessed1]

Meanwhile, in a certain house in the Yukiclan district:
"Hm... Hm..." a young woman said, holding a pile of papers in her hands. "Why is Aki always so sloppy with his work? And why do I always have to be the one to fix it? Does he have any idea how much time he would save me if he just wrote his reports properly?" She complained to herself as she sat down at her desk.
"Wait, what!?" She exclaimed after reading through the first few lines of the report. "This can't be right..." she shook her head in frustration at her boss' incompetence. "I'd better go ask Aki if he made a mistake." And with those words, she got up and left the room.
"Yes? Come in." Aki said as he heard the knock on his office door. "Oh, it's you, Nimiko." he grinned at her. "How can I help you?"
He'd only asked that question out of politeness, without any intention of following up on his offer. He was fully expecting her to deny his offer and simply tell him that she'd finished today's work. So he opened his eyes wide in surprise when the conversation suddenly took a turn in a different direction.
"Sir, I think I've found a mistake in your paperwork." Nimiko began.
"Whaat? Never! I know everything, I don't make mistakes!" he interrupted her quickly.
She sighed and slapped one of the papers onto his desk. "Oh, shut up. What's this, then?"
"Huh? I don't see any mistake." He said after reading the document.
Nimiko gave an annoyed sigh, then read aloud:
"Akayo of the Faiyaclan:
Youngest of the headfamily's three sons. Very good at hiding his feelings and intentions, especially his hatred for his eldest brother. And butterflies."
She looked up to see Aki's reaction, but he was still merely grinning at her innocently.
"What the hell, 'Sir'!? 'Hatred of butterflies!?"
"What, don't tell me you haven't heard the story of Akayo's tragic childhood yet?”
"What..." Nimiko said. But before she could deny her interest, Aki used the opportunity to tell one of his beloved stories.

[animalobsessed1]

"See, this is why I love humans; Because they always experience such hilariously tragic events.
On one sunny afternoon, when Akayo was still younger - about six years old - he was playing piggy in the middle with two of his lower family friends. Their names were Friend A and... uhm... the Other One..."
"Huh, you dont know their names? So you don't know everything, after all." Nimiko interrupted.
Aki ignored her smug comment.
"When Akayo had the ball, he accidentally threw it at Takumi's head."
"Wait... You mean that violent Beta family guy who's also in the ANBU?" She interrupted again.
"Yup. That's the one."
The fact that he hadn't managed to dodge the ball - despite being a ninja - hurt Takumi's pride tremendously. He charged at the children, raging and shouting: "Which one of you brats did that!?"
At that moment, a butterfly flew past Akayo's face, and he decided to chase it.
The other two children, who were from a lower class, stared at Takumi fearfully, frozen in shock.
"Which one of you was it?" Takumi repeated, drawing a kunai knife. He held it against Friend A's throat threateningly.
Finally, the Other One reacted and stammered "A-a-ak-"
But Takumi, who was too impatient to wait for the stammering to make sense, simply slit Friend A's throat.
Ever since that day, Akayo has hated butterflies because, if that butterfly hadn't distracted him, he would have been there to save his friend.
On that same day, Akayo decided to take on the role of a serious and cool character, and to never let butterflies distract him again."
"What? But how could a little boy protect his friend from such a psycho? Akayo wouldn't have been a match for him." Nimiko asked after an awkward pause, trying to make sense of what she'd just been told.
"Things aren't that easy in this world, you know. The Faiyaclan has a special hierarchy. The head family is on top, and directly below them are two other families; the Beta and the Vice families."
"I see. So you used this opportunity to do some world building in addition to increasing Akayo's character depth."
"What do you mean; 'world building'? Don't just break through the fourth wall like that... Anyway, lets continue. Under these three upper class families are the lower class ones, which have to obey and serve them.
Akayo, of course, belongs to the head family. His father is basically the ruler of the Faiyaclan. Once he dies, his successor, Ichiro, will inherit his position.
Because the middle brother, Kyo, didn't inherit the clan's kekkei-genkai, he isn't eligible for the clan leader position. So Akayo would be the next in line if Ichiro were to 'suddenly' die in an 'unexpected' accident.
In short, Akayo would have had the authority to simply command Takumi to stop, if only he had been paying attention." Aki continued.
Suddenly a young woman in a black ninja suit jumped through the window into Aki's office. She breathed heavily, as if she had run all the way with ninja speed.
"Aki, Nimiko. Guess what just happened in front of the convenience store!"
Then she began to report.