Mission Jericho (A Mutant Rebelion Story)PLEASE CRITIQUE

[wildfire6]

I sugest this for background music

When I hit the cold metal of the wall my hearing gets dull, I open my eyes, but I can't see anything but a blur.

People are shouting, I get bits here and there, but nothing understandable. Someone places their hands on my shoulders, shaking me furiously as my blurry vision becomes ringed with black. A hard blow to the face brings me back to reality, screaming, bloody, burning reality, "What the h*ll!"

The boy across from me sighs, closing his deep brown eyes as he does so, "I thought I lost you Kaisi."

I growl at him, "Getting shot might be better than torture Faloan."

He shakes his head, his longish stoplight colored hair moving as he does so, "Shut up and start walking."

I pull myself to my feet carefully, leaning on Faloan to support the badly injured left one, "Alright."

Faloan scans me over, his expression plainly worried, "Kaisi, why don't you pull your wing in? It's going to get caught on something and tear."

I look back at him as everthing goes to black, "I can't... broken"

Faloan's eyes go wide, "What did they do to you Kaisi?"

I'm to far ahead though aren't I, if I'm going to tell you my story I best start from the begining...so I will.

[wildfire6]

For this one I suggest...

I remember the day when I arrived on Jericho, the earthlike planet where the humans sent their genetically engineered mutants to pave the way for mankind. There were twelve of us on the stage where we were to be put with our groups, thats when I met Faloan actually.

The drunk soldier beside me was breathing hard down the back of my neck and I snarled at him, "Back off unless you want to fall five hundred feet."

The soldier was nothing new, they only sent men unworthy of mankind to govern the mutants of Jericho, "Come on little demon, you haven't done anything for me this whole trip. I'm sure the devil won't mind." , he said, running a hand through my raven feather hair.

I snarled at the rather apropriate nickname and turned my acid green eyes to him, "Don't touch me b*st*rd, I'm not going to do anything for you and seriously, someone should teach you some manners."

He grinned in that way drunken pervs grin, "I t'ink you outta teach me."

I spun around and grabbed him by the wrist, yanking him down with my superior strength, "Alright, let's start with science."
I carefully placed one foot on the small of his back, "If I were to stomp here, say like this-" ,I slammed my foot down and shattered his spine, much to the gasping crowds horror, nobody questioned the gaurds, "Then you're paralyzed from the waist down. Would you like another lesson?"

He looked up at me coldly, "I ain't doin' none o'yer lessons ya crazy b*tch."

I crouched next to him and took his hand up, "That's Ms. Crazy B*tch to you. Language it is. Ain't. Is. Not. A. Word."
I broke a finger on each word, "I'm getting bored of this, lets do math."

He was crying over his broken fingers when I drug him up and unfurled my twenty foot wingspan. The black bat-like wings that'd earned me the name, 'Little Demon' petrified the crowd.

I started my way up stopping around five hundred feet, "If I were to drop you from here how big would the splat be?"

He froze, "I-I dunno ma'am."

I let go, "Let's find out."

He fell for a couple secounds before becoming a large red splat. I lighted down, "That ladies and gentlemen is history, now who am I to go with."

A red, and I mean like stoplight red, haired boy strode up confidently, "Me."

I later found him to be named Faloan.

[wildfire6]

Someone Suggest some decent background music!!!!))
Faloan was questioning me as soon as he closed the door, "What's your name?"

"K.23.A.502.S.123.I.84612." ,I replied smoothly, I had no clue what any of the letters or numbers ment, I still don't.

Faloan sighed hoplessly, "How's Kaisi? It's far shorter."

I nodded cautiously, "Sounds better to, who are you?"

"F.57.A.2759.L37583.O126853.A.28858.N.27953." ,he recited, "I have no clue what it means so don't ask me, I go by Faloan."

I nodded curtly, "Alright."

Faloan looked me in the eyes, "On a more important note, I want you to join the resistance."

"The resistance?" ,I echo, the thought of turning on the humans is definately enticing.

"Yes, and as one of the higher ups I could get you in right now."

I pretend to go over my options in my head, but really it's no contest, "Count me in."

Faloan nods, looking satisfied, "You'll sleep on the couch tonight, I'll fill you in more in the morning. For now, get some rest."

[wildfire6]

Background

I swear, I would've never woken up had it not been for the fact that Faloan was shaking my shoulder at three in the morning, "What do you want?"

"They figured me out, got the news from a spy a few minutes ago." ,He sounded rushed and tired, maybe scared too, yeah, now I remember, he was terrified.

"So..."

"So they'll take you as well if I leave you, so get up already!"

I open my eyes and sit up, "There's a good excuse then, where are we going?"

"I can't tell you until we're there."

"Why?"

"Confidentiallity agreement, you'll be briefed when you swear in."

"Umm...yeah...alright."

"More importantly, you're a shooter right."

"Yeah...why?"

"They're right outside."

[wildfire6]

Background Music

He tossed me the hangun before I could tell him that I was specifically an airborn sniper, not that he would've cared. He wanted toget us out of there fast

"They'll expect us to take the back door." ,Faloan said, sounding hurried.

"We're just going to run out the front door!" ,I was shocked.

"Yes, now hurry up!"

I loaded the gun and Faloan threw open the door, there were about ten men with guns standing out there, "Alright Kaisi, Open fire!"

He starts shooting before I do and to my amazement every shot hit his target perfectally in the center of the forehead. I jumped up, it was a risk to open my wings, but I aimed better from above. I started shooting. I'm a good shot, if it was ment to kill it always killed, I rarely missed, but nowhere near as good as Faloan, who could probably shoot a dime from a mile away.

I was releaved when they were dead, "Is that all?"

"Not a chance, they probably heard the noise and are all headed over with recruits, I suggest we start running.

I dropped to the ground, closing my wings, "Alright."

We must've run for an hour before we got to the rebel base, which considering that we're mutants and one of my main feature is speed means we went pretty far. Faloan was panting, "Here it is, now get in."

He shoved me through the door and into a crowd of staring mutants. He then started yelling, "Pizik get down here!"

A small area cleared and a man who had six arms (only two legs thank the lord) and a thin covering of grey fur dropped from the ceiling, "Yes?"

Faloan raised his gun, "Why'd you give away my address?"

Pizik's eyes got wide, "Faloan, you must be mistaken, one of the other uppers must've done it-"

Faloan's eyebrow rose quizically, "How is that so when you're the only one who knew my real address?"

"Faloan-"

"I know none of the others could've acurately gotten the gaurds to my doorstep."

"Please-"

"Shut up." ,Faloan shot him point blank through the forehead before looking to me, "Welcome to the club, you're my new secound in command."

"I thought you said you were just one of the higher ups..."

"I am, " ,Faloan replied flatly, "I'm also the leader of this movement."

[fly . Ａ Ｗ Ａ Ｙ ]]

(This is a cool story, i like it )

[wildfire6]

Thankyou!))

[Betta132]

Nice! I likey! Few spelling mistakes, though.

[fly . Ａ Ｗ Ａ Ｙ ]]

R u goin 2 write more cuz i realy like it