TheComfortCorner | V.10

[pisto pesto pasta]

online people are so mean to me. everyone is so mean to me. people will be like «oh yeah this is a neurodivergent friendly space!» and then call me out when im being a little bit to excited about my hyperfixations... im not saying im using my neurodivergence as an excuse, but it is an excuse for my behaviour. because. you know. IM NOT NEUROTYPICAL. I DONT EXACTLY THINK THE SAME WAY AS THEM. AND IM SO TIRED OF PEOPLE PRETENDING LIKE WE ARE SUPPOSED TO BEHAVE THE SAME WAY. its not news we think differently and yet we have the same expectations... and they dont have 2 be so rude about it as if i just killed a person and laughed about it? i was talking about my characters and they called it tasteless and provockative? god. people.

[rabidcoyote]

i swear to god the only reason why i stay on this website is because i lack self respect

[♥ mizu]

i am so freaking stressed out right now. we have a big family dinner with our relatives EVERY weekend and i go EVERY time. i haven't had my computer so i couldn't work on any of my stuff for an entire WEEK. i have 15 missing assignments. so i wanted to stay home and do them but my dad freaked out on me. "screamed" isn't the right word. he roared. if i didn't have a good poker face i would've cried. it was terrifying. he terrifies me. i can't go to this dinner tonight. i can't. i have so much dang work to do and i'm so stressed. i could not give less of a hell what my relatives have done in the past week. all i do at those dinners is sit in the corner because my dad dominates the conversation. i hate my life. i hate my life. i hate it. why can't i do anything. i hate this. i didn't give him ANY attitude. i purposely presented it in the nicest, most respectful way possible. i said, "dad, i love seeing my relatives, but i have so much work that i need to do and i don't think it's wise to go right now". why do i get no respect. i don't even DO anything there. we're going to be there at 5:30 and it's 3:27 rn and i all i want to do is shake and freaking cry. i hate my life.

[67Phlox]

vent

infinite possibilities unfold, yet i grasp at none of them
am i really that ungrateful?

i want nothing, i wish for nothing
i strive towards nothing
no goal

"nothing behind her eyes"
they were right
and phrases like this will haunt me forever

still, i have to hold on a little longer
two months, please
it feels like forever, but it probably won't even change a thing if i'm honest or not

a cycle shows, if you will
there's hope, then momentary improvement, only for me to spiral endlessly into a kind of pity
then a period of apathy, stillness... afterwards i'm like "nothing happened" and it's back to hope
so, really, i shouldn't be taken seriously

even if I take myself seriously, i should be perceived like a kid
ignorant little kid who doesn't change a bit

apathy and waste of space

[astralamy]

seriously, get off my back.

[lavalampwater]

liquidizes you liquidizes you liquidizes you liquidizes you liquidizes you liquidizes you liquidizes you blows you up

how are you going to ask me to play a game, get uninterested of said game in under an hour, and then open a new game and get distracted playing that one leaving me wondering why i'm suddenly the only one playing and not even letting me know you wanted to quit until AFTER i logged off because I WAS THE ONLY ONE PLAYING. i'm not mad about you wanting to play another game i'm angry at your lack of communication skills AGAIN!! you sucked at communicating with me AGAIN!!! oh god forbid i want to know something every once in a while!

& the way you have absolutely nothing to say after i pointed this all out to you speaks VOLUMES. STOP asking me to play video games with you if this is how you're gonna act because i don't need this rn or ever. i'm not angry at you wanting to do something else or whatever thats fine! thats always fine i'd never want to be controlling over what we do but when you ask me to do something and then go "mm, never mind actually" without even telling me is when it makes me mad!!!

[Hawk WillowWatcher]

Don’t you trust me? Stop treating me like a child, I hate it. Another day, another night to cry myself to sleep. You scream at me, try to change me, Make me hide everything that’s who I am. And yet. You still try and make me feel even worse. For once, can you stop trying to guilt trip me? Stop harassing me? Acting like I am the one who did everything wrong? Please, just this once. “Stop acting like the victim, you don’t know what I go through.” “ You should stop crying or I’ll give you a reason to cry.” You’re the one always acting like the victim. You’re the reason I’m crying. I’m sorry I can’t be the perfect Christian daughter that you’ve always wanted. One who does everything you say and more. I can’t be perfect. You decide to mentally abuse me, say that you did nothing wrong, yell at me for things I didn’t even do and YOU, YOUR THE VICTIM??? you’re one of the reasons I have trust issues, anxiety, and I can’t be myself. YOU, YOU ARE. (Minor SH warning) I wear long sleeves for a reason. making scars feels better than your words. Each one is just a reminder how horrible people can be. I can’t wait till I’m 18. Even when I move away, the scars still stay in the same place, on me. Still a reminder.

[slashstreet]

anxiety is driving me insane, im just constantly a anxious mess who always is assuming the worst and is terrified of the outside world because of it- i just wanna feel normal!!

[.Vellichor.]

I feel like I don't matter to anyone in my life anymore. I thought I was building a small close circle of people I could finally call my (found) family. I was making close connections, overcoming fear, and letting people in.

Now I feel like the unwanted pet more than a beloved friend, partner, or family member. Like I'm something to be ignored, or to be pitied. Not a person with thoughts, feelings, ideas and capabilities of my own. I feel as though I don't exist to others until I'm useful. I usually have to be the initiating party if I want to spend time with anyone - and that's assuming I'm not rejected, or worse, ignored. Nothing hurts more than asking and having someone decide you're not even worth a "no." I feel like a constant intrusion on other people's lives, like just my presence is an unforgivable offense.

I tried to let people in, but I guess they decided what was within me wasn't worth seeing. Kind of want to lock it all back up now.

[ghostbite]

feeling like im hanging on by a thread, im so tired and done lol :')
my life feels like a living hell that just keeps getting worse and i cant take it anymore