TheComfortCorner | V.10

[qtip]

wht did i do wrongg

[Nerve]

i need to calm down. i get so anxious in the evenings. tea helps, sometimes, but lately i can't sleep. i need to figure out what i'm doing. i can't focus and my brain is all over the place. it's fine, i know it's fine, but i can't convince myself of it. the bottom line is i've been out of it.

[ChaoticGremlin]

Life is life man. It’s supposed to be better now, I have better friends, am taking better care of myself, learning new things about my life, therapy’s helping, am fairing decently okay through a break up, but, I don’t know. No matter what I do I just seem to fail everywhere, and everything I try is something I enjoy. So if I’m not good at the things I enjoy then what’s the point? And I understand the, practice and you’ll get better! And that’s true. But I’ve been doing this for YEARS. Art of all kinds, writing, singing, theatre, I’ve played a good handful of sports. I’ve tired this and that in life and no matter where I look all I see is failure. It takes so much out of me, that and the workload I’m constantly burdened with, I’m burnt out constantly. I feel like a candle that you try to light outside when the wind’s blowing. On top of that? Relationships are hard, of any kind. Don’t get me wrong, I’m an open person, probably more so than I should be half the time. But it kind of feels like I’m inside a glass ball, if that makes sense? I can see everyone around me, and they can see me, and we can talk, but it feels like there’s just some barrier between us, no matter what. I feel like I can’t be as close to anyone as I want to be, even if we have known each other since the beginning of our lives. I just want someone who can sit in that glass ball with me. I mean, what’s really the statistics of finding that love that lasts, that real, just, the kind you only hear stories about? And I don’t mean fairy tales or “love at first sight” because cmon, that’s just base level attraction. I mean that kind of high school sweethearts that grew old together kind of love. What’s the statistics of that? It has to be slim. I don’t even feel that I’ll find, or even deserve, the run of the mill fast paced relationship that starts and ends like a flame. The universe has put me through the wringer for as long as I can remember, and I don’t think it’s ever going to stop. Sure things get better and you learn, but it’s like my life always has this underlying dread to it. Maybe that’s just because of my genetic clinical anxiety but who knows. I just want peace. I always want to go home, even when I am home. My therapist said it’s an escape thing. I just wish life had been nicer to me, but I know so many people it worse, so, so much worse. But, hell, what I would give to have a normal, loving mom. To have a put together family that does things on the holidays and doesn’t constantly tear each other down. What I would give for addiction and bad parents to never have run rampant through our family in the first place. I feel so guilty that my sister stayed in the situation just to protect me. I’m so happy she’s out of it now. But I’m not, I still have so many years to endure this horrible woman that doesn’t deserve the title of mom. And I lost people I loved, as everyone has. But it was one after the other, and I know that points to me, and I definitely wasn’t the best, but I was never like them. I just want to escape to a place where nothing exists and it’s finally, finally quiet, is that so much to ask for? Some quiet. My anxiety’s been getting worse, loud and crowded areas put me into more of a panic that they used to. I get upset over the smallest things and I just spiral and it’s like I’m not in control of my thoughts. I cried while brushing my hair in the shower cause I had some knots and it just went down from there. I’ve been so done for months now, everything hurts, inside and out. I just want to go home, someone to call home. Just escape everything and run, run faster than anything, run so fast and far that nothing can touch or hurt me ever again.

[slashstreet]

im so scared, i think my laptop might be messed up and i rlly do not have the money 2 replace it.
i do everything online including school, its scary. i hope i mightve just mistakenly hit a button.

ontop of that im growing distant with a friend of mine and i feel bad,
i care for them alot but its just the way life goes i guess. ill do anything i can to stall or stop it though.

and lastly i just wanna cuddle up to my boyfriend and SLEEEPP
i am so tired but i just am too damn stubborn to sleep.

[Soy Sauce]

Im geeking out about the new Godzilla x Kong movie I js watched and the Beetlejuice movie coming out.

[Unilluminate]

.

[Gritizens]

Can't sleep. Mind is racing and won't stop. Everything is pressing down on me. I'm not even the current host but I got thrown into front anyway because the host fell asleep. Why can't I sleep. The auditory hallucinations sure aren't helping either.

[shadow~wolf]

me when im literally so annoying and stupid lol

[67Phlox]

Small, relatively silly vent; nothing too serious
Lost access a while ago to my "gaming" burner e-mail because I forgot to set up second lvl authentication for password recovery.
So that e-mail is now null and void until I remember what the password was... and by extension, I cannot log into my Flight Rising account anymore.
RIP those items, dragons and time wasted on grinding levels... Oh well. :/
At least I have more time for drawing, so this situation is kind of helpful, in a way?

[ghostbite]

the way theyre treating me just proves my worries right, everyone leaves me. they asked for my honesty which was given and now they are distancing from me. i think im ready to solo life and keep it that way. i have a lot of nasty stuff going on in my life so i dont have the time for making friends to keeping them anymore.
not trying to sound like a moron, just tired and fed up with being mistreated constantly.