Write a Letter You Cannot Send (Read the Rules!)

[Purrfectpal]

Keep going.
I wasn't so good at first either, but with practice I've reached a place that I am pleased with. There is still more for me to learn, but we can learn it together. I hope you'll take this deal into consideration. I just want you to know that you're worth everything and you'll regret it if you give up.

[griefowo]

p /

tapn : )

[tree,]

Ry-fry ,
Listen to me. I know you will skim over this because you have been trying to push yourself away. You got so angry when aspen refused to leave, but you need to realize something. You once told us that real friends would refuse to let you leave no matter for what reason and that counts for you as well. Taking on your demons head first is wonderful, but there is only so much you can do alone and you're not doing it right. As much as you may say we never really knew you, we do. You are scared, I can tell. Most the time, you are unpredictable and hard to read. But you let yourself get ahead when you are angered or dejected. Nobody has ever feared you because you are different compared to the school- they are scared because you change. For somebody who is always so relaxed you light flames once someone gets too close. We refuse to leave because we know that you are never like this. She left you alone once she realized that you did need space. But can you not see that you are collapsing in on yourself? The Ryan we know would never let her guard down over something as small as a test. You had a complete panic attack over an exam this morning: keep in mind, you never even study for these tests and always get over eighty percent! (Somehow.) You can only push us away for so long until we notice something is really wrong. Yes, you are hostile when you let your temper get the best of you. You can be, a word that you called yourself but I doubt I can say on a website, but you have many more positive aspects that make up for this. You are just blind to them as many people are. Let those who decide you are nothing leave, as they- including Chazz -are not worth your time. You can try to hide for as long as you want, but we refuse to leave.
In fact, I think this is hurting Aspen more than you. You know he looks up to you for some reason. He may not tell us, but if he is willing to go this far for you I think you should take him into consideration. A wise bear once told me, things that mean much to you are things you should never let go of, even if they try to leave you. Sometimes it could be smart to look behind you and see who still follows. Not everybody views you as the enemy. Do not push those who wish to stay away, they follow you anyway. With my luck you will ignore this coming from a singular person. But think about this. You have Aspen, Sage is still willing to co-operate with you, Tiana, Hannah, Ichici even, Aiden, Sui, and Tom. Possibly many more on top of that. You know we could never truly leave you as you asked. You are our family. Or, Aspen's pet grizzly bear in his case.
, Kyle

[Ghost CatLady]

Dear Sister,
Are you stupid??
Do you not care about me?
That is pretty much a punch in the face and gut at the same time..
Naming your soon to be newborn that...
Icant believe you.
You chose to name him after one of my abusers!!! Are you kidding me??
I even told you what happened... You've never heard me cry before. I begged you not to tell anyone...
You wonder why im not all excited for the due date. Well if you were in my shoes would be excited still?? I highly doubt it.

[Snow's Storm]

Dear phone,

Why do you have to die during the middle of the school day? Please stop... just last like an hour longer, and that would be great.


Thanks,
Storm

[drift.]

I wish you would just hurt me harder than I hurt you
You can't just step back and stop forgiving me... Brushing off everything i've done.
Someone loves you, so let me go... Because now others are having to clean up the mess i've made.

I'm just so tired... I can barely keep up with you and your problems. I've been trying to help in all the ways I can
but I'm soggy from the chemo, my brain is malfunctioning... I'm forgetting things, I almost didn't recognize your name in my phone
and that terrified me, sent me into a desperate shock. I promised to never leave you or forget you, but see, I almost did.
I haven't been my self, and I'm so sorry.. but it's not my fault, and I hope you know that. And it's not your fault.

I want to hold you, comfort you... I want to be there for you now to make up for my distance lately.

But I can't.

I'm trying to make this work, but you seem intent on pushing me away.
today's worse, I can barely stand, they sent a stronger wave through my body, and all I want to do is sleep the pain and sickening feeling away.

I haven't told you how my health took a turn for the worse with my fever spiking again- not as high, but it's still worrying my nurse that there's an infection somewhere. I haven't eaten anything for days, and for me thats a long time to go without food lol. But I just feel so lonely, I have nothing to live for, I have no future..

[escapalization]

j,

i'm sorry.
i don't know what i did, but i'm sorry i'm not enough.
maybe i didn't even do anything. maybe i'm just too
clingy. too loud. maybe i sing too much? maybe i don't
accept compliments well enough?????
you don't need to push me away. you don't need to stop
talking. all you need to do is tell me what i'm doing
wrong, please! and i'll fix it. anything. all i want is
for you to be happy with me, please. i thought we were
friends, but if you don't want to be, just let me know.
just talk to me. please.

love, kate

[NinjaGerbil]

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I sit at home all day; the college dropout playing video games while my brother goes to university.
I'm sorry I eat so much. I empty the snacks cupboard, the ice cream tubs in the freezer, and anything else I get my disgusting fat hands on.
I'm sorry I'm so lazy. I don't do much of the housework, I don't have a job, I don't have money to help you with the shopping.
I'm sorry I'm so stupid. My brother had so many A's on his GSCE results. I have one C in Maths to my name; and one Level 2 Degree in Animal Care, barely Pass level.
I'm sorry I'm so awkward around everyone. Having Asperger's doesn't make it any easier, but I'd probably be an idiot even without it anyways.

I'm sorry I couldn't do better.
I'm sorry I couldn't make you proud of me.
I'm sorry I'm a failure as a human being.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm so, so sorry.



Please don't leave me alone.

[~randomidiot~]

Dear Trent,

I am SO sorry. I never would've thought that you're brother was the one who crashed into the pole. I'm so sorry he is dead and I wish I could comfort you. I wish you still Came to school and talked to me and Mia. We all miss you and we support you.

Love, S

[stormy tom]

I'm sorry I broke our friendship.
I promised you that wouldn't happen. I said 'no matter what your answer is, it won't affect our friendship'. I was wrong. I still destroyed it. Maybe we would still be friends if I hadn't opened my fat mouth.

We had something amazing. I tried to take it farther than it was meant to go. You loved me in your own way, maybe as a sibling. But not as a partner. Maybe you really weren't ready. Maybe it was me who wasn't ready, or maybe it was both of us who weren't ready.

It's been two years now. Two years since I screwed it all up. Since I last talked to you. since I last saw your face. You meant so much to me, and I can't ever get you to understand just how much. You weren't a crush, or a fantasy. You were my friend, and then you were my love. I loved you. And I know it was real because it still hurts now as I write this. My throat still tightens and my eyes get misty. I believe what I did, and I wish I could go back. I find drawings of you sometimes... they just pop up and remind me of just how well I'd mapped out your face in my mind.

Maybe this is better, ending everything. Because I would have to live every day knowing that you didn't feel the same way, spending time with you, being so close...

You still appear in my dreams sometimes, no matter how hard I've tried to forget you, and how much I sometimes succeed. Why can't you leave me alone after all this time, just go away and make room for someone else? But what if you do move, and I fall for someone else the way I did for you? I don't know if I can go through this again...

But that's love, I guess. When it hurts this much for so long, I guess that it means something. That it wasn't hollow and worthless. I held something worth so much in my hands, even if it was for a short time, even if I crashed quite badly afterward.

I'm not sure what hurts more: knowing you never felt the same for me, or knowing that I destroyed a friendship that might still be alive and good right now.

I'm so lonely... so hopeless with love. I thought I'd found it for a moment, and then it was ripped away and I'm alone again. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to act. Should I search for it, or let it come to me?

I'm so lonely... I just want love. That's all....